When Roxas Met Axel
by SenseiMalice
Summary: Roxas wasn't sure what to make of Axel. Did Roxas want Axel more than a friend? He was the only one who wiped away the tears, insisted that everything was going to be okay, and was the only one Roxas trusted with his "dirty little secret..." Yaoi, AkuRoku
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey!! This is my first uber long FanFic. So yeah. I've got the majority of the plot line in my head, but I can always use ideas and inspiration :)) I'll say more stuff as I go along with this story. But for starters, I'd better get on with it....**

**Disclaimer: All I own are a half-drunken cup of Sunny D and this laptop. I do not recall purchasing a huge video game franchise.**

I sighed heavily and looked down at my schedule. I had homeroom in 5 minutes with a Ms. Gainsborough, room 219. I closed my locker door and slung my black messenger bag over my shoulder and shoved the schedule in my back pocket. I walked down the hall, towards 219. Lemme just say that being the new kid is weird.

Herds of girls kept looking at me with wide eyes and kept giggling and whispering in their friends' ears. A few even asked me if I could sit with them at lunch. I answered, "Maybe, maybe not," They then would smile excitedly as if I actually accepted their offers. _Not here too... _I whispered in my head.

I reached the door to Ms. Gainsborough's room. I wasn't going to be early, God forbid. Students with tired eyes and bored faces entered the room, eventually followed by the obnoxious bell ringing. And then I finally went in. I expected an old, ugly, fat, hag for a Homeroom teacher again. I was wrong.

A young woman about 24 or 25 was writing stuff on the board. She was slender, tall, and had big aqua eyes. Being the 16-year-old mind I was, raging with testosterone, of course I was attracted. She looked at me and pushed a lock of brunette hair out of her face. "Are you Roxas Strife?"

I nodded and she smiled big and added, "Great!! I'm Ms. Gainsborough, but I prefer if you called me Aerith, and welcome to Twilight Town High School!!"

She walked towards me and turned to the class, "And class, this is Roxas. Be nice and make him feel welcome here. And Roxas, why don't we..." She started looking around for an empty desk, "... seat you in between those two." She pointed to the only empty desk in between two guys. I slowly sat down and tried not to look at my two neighbors. I failed at that.

The one to my left looked really weird in an adorable way. He had blonde hair that was styled into a mullet-mohawk thing. He also had big, light blue eyes and wore jeans and a T-Shirt. He was average height and slender. Sure, he was cute... but not worth going for. Cute? Oh yeah, I'm bisexual, in case you didn't figure that one out.

The other guy however... Wow. He had flaming red hair that was spiked back crazily and in a piece-y low ponytail. He also had these acid green eyes that stared into my soul. I could tell he was tall, even when he sat down, And he was... Really skinny. He wore black jeans, a yellow band shirt, and Converse. How do I describe him? More like... How _can _I? I'll be honest... he was beautiful. Gorgeous, even.

I finally dazed out when the mohawk guy leaned in and whispered loudly, "Hiya!! I'm Demyx!!"

Great. He was a peppy, happy guy. Those kind of people aren't my thing. I would've played nice, but I was exceptionally moody and bitchy today. "Roxas," I introduced.

"Roxas," he smiled big, "That's a nice name!!"

"I know," I irritation flooded my voice.

"So how are you? Do you like this school? Do you have any friends yet? Where did you live before? How old are you? Did that lip piercing hurt? Ouch!! Do you play an instrument? Maybe you could join my band!! What's your other classes? I have art next. Do you? Hopefully. Art sucks. Where do you live? Do you have a cell phone? Are you-"

"DEMYX!! SHUT UP!!" The redhead besides me turned and glared at Demyx. Demyx finally shut up and whimpered a 'Sorry.' I looked at the redhead and I noticed something odd. He had two teardrop shaped tattoos under each eye. Dude, you have no meat in you face... Well, some do, but he wasn't exactly Chubby Cheeks. He also was a pierced person like me. He had his eyebrows pierced and gauged his ears to about a 2g.

"Hey," The redhead smiled sheepishly, "Sorry about that. Dem just gets really vexatious,"

Vexatious. This guy was pretty smart; good vocabulary. "Gee... I couldn't tell," I sneered.

He laughed at my sarcasm and added, "Yep,"

He was short tempered like me, smart, and seemed to be edgy. It didn't hurt that he was hot, either. If only I knew his name. He looked at me, "So I didn't catch your name, Princess,"

My face blushed red. This guy was bold too. No one ever has called me 'Princess' before. Although I wanted to know his name, I wasn't going to let him know that. "That's okay," I looked at him with a smug expression, "It's not like you needed it. And it's not like you're gonna get it. By the way, do NOT call me 'Princess,'"

He tried to hide an amused smile, "Ouch. That hurts me; 'Princess' just suits you. And FYI, I do need it,"

"Why in the hell would you?" I looked at him with a venomous glower.

He tsked, "Such naughty, naughty language. And if I need it so I can find you if I ever lose your sexy ass,"

Okay. This guy was really starting to piss me off. Sexy ass? I'm not even going to touch that subject. "Look," I eased up slightly, "Valuable goods. You can look, but the touching is going to come with a price,"

"A price, eh?" He laughed.

"Yep. So you better apply for a loan because you won't be able to afford me," I shot him a teasing look.

"Nah, I think I can afford 12 bucks," He raised his eyebrow.

He did not just say that. What an ass. I tried to hide my laugh with a cough and said, "For the record, I neglected to ever become a hooker. So I feel that it is safe to say that I am worth at least a good six-figure amount,"

He gave me an impressed look, "Alright, fair enough. You win that round. So where did you live before here?"

I looked at him and rolled my eyes, "Destiny Islands,"

"So you were a big city kid? Fancy."

"Yep. I lived in the not-so-glamorous part, though. Y'know: gang violence, drugs, cops, crappy school, and shit like that,"

"Sounds fun," He said with no emotion.

"Oh, it was indeed," I replied scornfully.

"So I take it that you like it here more?" He asked.

"Nah... I mean, I don't have to worry about getting shot anymore, but I had friends there," I lied. The only friends I had were Sora and Riku. Who in the end, kept ditching me to fuck each other like dogs.

He looked at me, contemplating. Then he chuckled under his breath. "What's so funny?" I asked.

"Oh... Nothing..." He laughed harder.

"Tell me!!" I demanded.

"Okay, okay... So I can have a piece of your life story but I can't have your name, Princess?"

I tried to glare at him but I couldn't bring myself to, "What did I say about calling me 'Princess?!'"

"To not to," He pretended to be ashamed of himself.

"Right. So don't,"

"Alright, Princess,"

"DUDE!!"

"Sorry... It's just I can't call you anything else," He said, hinting for my name.

"Ugh. Fine. I'm Roxas," I said. He better give me his name in return.

He smiled, "Roxas. I like that name."

I tried to ignore the blush that was creeping up my cheeks. "So stop with the 'Princess' then,"

"Whatever you say... Roxy,"

"What!? Roxy!?" I groaned and gave up. Good luck getting him to stop with Roxy.

"Yep!! You are now dubbed Roxy,"

I slammed my head against the hard desk. All I asked for in the beginning was to zone out for the 20 minute homeroom period. And now I was known as Foxy-Roxy. I know he didn't put in 'Foxy,' but I could feel that part rapidly approaching. My forehead hurt and I still had 5 whole minutes left.

"So what class do you have next?" He asked me.

"I never got YOUR name," I replied firmly.

"Why would I give it to you? You might use it and find my address and come and rape me when I'm asleep," He grinned.

"Right. Because I rape every damn person who is a good foot taller than me,"

He ignored my sarcasm, "Wow, you must rape every person who crosses your path,"

"Fuck off. I'd like to let you know that I'm a good 5'5"..."

"And I'm six-foot-three,"

"So I get your height, but not your name?"

"Swear you won't rape me if I give it to you?" He asked discreetly.

"I can't make any promises," I shrugged.

He smiled ominously, "I like those odds,"

I looked at him. Was he gay or something? Doubt it. A guy as sensuous as him was bound to have a line [or five] of girls at his door. "So do I get your name?"

He looked at me. "Axel. A-X-E-L. Axel. Got it memorized?"

"Uhh... Sorry, I forgot already,"I smiled at him.

**A/N: So how didja like it? Good, I hope. I would like to announce that reviews boost the writer's [my] morale and speed of a new chapter. So click the bodacious 'review' button and let me know what you think.**

**And for the record, this chapter was NOT meant to set up the plot line quite yet. That's the next chapter's job. So tell me what you think :))**

**~~ Sam**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey!! Sorry this update took a while. This past week was the first week for me at a new school. And I hate being the new kid. It's weird. So sorry again for keeping you waiting. This is a slight story set up, but I'm going to play nice and post TWO- that's right, TWO- chapters for the price of one!! If only Kingdom Hearts was sold two for the price of one. Anyway... I shall continue on with the story... :))**

**Disclaimer: Nope. I own shit. But I _DO _own a Roxas Plushie Doll~~~ :3 **

After homeroom, I was in Russian II, . And guess what else... Yep. Axel was in that class with me. I wandered in the room, only to find Axel sitting in the only seat that was next to an empty desk. The teacher, Mr. Fosse, seated me there saying, "I hope you like your new seat. You're stuck there for the rest of the year." And since I'm new with the school 2 months in, I was stuck there for a good 7 months.

I tried to ease into my seat without catching Axel's attention. Too bad. He smiled at me and suggestively said, "Сексуальная Здравствуйте, добро пожаловать в Русский..."

I looked at him. Damn, this guy was good. "Umm... English please,"

"Sorry Roxy," He smiled bigger, "It's called a Russian-English Dictionary. Trust me, it will help,"

I tried not to smile at his insult, "Gee, I must respectfully decline,"

"So anyway, Roxy, do you remember my name?"

"Axle, right?" I looked away from him and copied the notes on the board. I was anti-schoolwork, but I needed to distract myself with something else.

"No, no, no," He shot me a disappointed look, "Not A-X-L-E. That's for wheels. I'm Axel, A-X-E-L, Axel,"

"Wait... You can't _see _our conversation. So how did you know I meant 'Axle?'" I asked, amazed.

"I know my stuff..." He looked away dramatically. I rolled my eyes and continued copying the board. He peered over and looked at my notebook. "You're a grade-grubber?"

I snorted, "Far from it. But it's better than these oh-so-wonderful conversations of ours,"

"Right," He said flatly. For the next 45 minute class period, Axel behaved and left me alone. When the dismissal bell rang, he looked at me and asked in a polite, nice voice, "May I ask you what class you are going to next?"

"Drop the fake-politeness. I'm not buying it," I shoved my notebook in my bag, "And if you insist on knowing, I'm in-" I looked at my schedule, "-Geometry next,"

"With Mr. Harvard?" He nudged me, acting like... what was his name? Demyx?

"Yep," I said quietly, half wanting to be in his next class and half wanting to disembowel him.

"Shall I escort you to your desired destination? I am ever-so-yearning to do such a thing, Mate," he said in a bogus British-Australian accent.

"Axel, Stop. You sound like my Uncle Luxord,"

"Hah!! You called me 'Axel!!' Not 'Axle!!'" I cringed and resisted the urge to punch him.

"Whatever, I can find my own way there, thank you very much,"

"Right, anyway, see you there!!" He called and walked down the hall, "And Roxy?"

"What!?" I flared at him.

He smiled dreamily and softly called, "Я тебя люблю..."

And for the first time in a while, I wished I payed attention in Russian. I had no clue what he said. I called back, "Like I know what that means!!"

* * *

I sat through Geometry, completely zonked out. I wasn't asleep, but I had a zombie-like personality. Axel was yet again seated right next to me and I tried my hardest to not say anything to him. He kept quiet, too. As soon as Geometry started, it was over. I slung my bag back onto my shoulder and headed for the door. I walked down the halls, yet again being admired by desperate girls. I stopped by my locker and turned the dial, 26-48-18, and it clicked open. I shuffled through the papers, not really looking for anything. I just needed to burn up some of my passing time. I felt a presence right behind me so I slammed the door shut, turned around, and yelled, "Jesus, Axel!! What? Are you following me now!?"

My eyes widened to find a really pretty girl about my height standing before me. I looked at her. She had big blue eyes, thin, and wore a mini skirt and a pink Polo shirt. "Uh... Sorry... I thought you were-"

"-Axel?" She finished for me and ran her fingers through her short, jet black hair. She was really pretty, for a girl. I know I'm bi and all, but I was leaning towards guys over girls.

I nodded, "Yeah, sorry again. I'm Roxas,"

She smiled and said practically whispered, "Xion,"

"Xion? That's a cool name..."

"Yeah... So I was wondering, Maybe since you're new and all, perhaps you'd like to go out sometime?"

I looked at her. This chick was courageous. Asking me out when she just found out my name. I don't know why, but I answered, "Sure, why not?"

Her face lit up and her voice grew confidence, "Great!! Call me!!" She handed me a slip of paper in her pocket. I crumpled up the paper and shoved it in my pocket. I wasn't the one to dive into the deep end of a relationship.

"Roxy!!" I heard an ever-too-familiar voice call my name. I looked to my left, seeing an Axel walking down the hall towards me.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath. I quickly picked up the pace and weaved my way into the hallway traffic, trying to avoid him.

I felt his hand slam on my shoulder, "Where ya heading next, Roxy?"

I sighed and said, "English with Mrs. Jensen,"

"Sweet!! Me too!! Shall we go?" He asked happily.

"No," I hissed.

He laughed and grabbed my wrist, "Whatever you say, Roxy!!" Next thing I knew, I was being dragged into a classroom and Mrs. Jensen seated me... you guessed it... right next to Axel.

Damn. It.

I slumped in my seat and inched away from Axel, who was sneaking his iPod around. I thought about Xion, _Sure, she's pretty... But do I want another scenario happening? I wanted to come here to avoid another... Ugh... Whatever. I'm sorta hungry. I wonder what Axel's listening to... Hmph. How much longer of this class? 20 minutes!? Grr!! Too long!! I need a cigarette. Stupid nicotine, being addictive. Anyway, Xion. Should I go for it? What the hell... I guess I will. Hopefully, I won't regret it. _I glanced over at Axel, _He looks so... Pretty. But why is he so... irritating? If he could shut up, then I would... what the hell? I would anyway. Too bad I'm all tied up with Xion. Damn. I wish I said no. Wait, but 'going out' doesn't mean 'girlfriend.' Hold on a sec... it has meant that for the past... forever. Jesus, this is just what I need: another scenario. What is it about me that-_

"Roxy!!" I jumped when Axel yelled my name.

My surprise quickly turned into anger, "What is it!?"

"Class is over!! It's time for 4th period. What do you have?"

"P.E."

"Good, I'm in your class then," AGAIN!? Stupid fate!!

"Crap," I pretended that it was worse than a flesh-eating disease.

"Aw, c'mon Roxy, I'm not _that_ bad..."

"Says you,"

"Whatever, lets go. You do not want to be late to P.E."

"Why?"

"Coach Anderson hates tardies. He'll make you run 'till your legs are Jell-O,"

"Damn, I hate drill sergeant coaches," What a great first day.

* * *

After P.E. [which sucked ass], it was lunch. "Wanna sit with me behind the school? I need to smoke," Axel offered.

"Nah," Even though I had a burning want for a cigarette, I had to decline, "I met this girl, Xion. I'm gonna sit with her,"

I swear, he looked really sad, "Oh," Then his face perked up, "That's cool! Maybe some other time then,"

"Right,"

"Roxy?" He called to me when I started walking away.

I looked back at him, "Axle?"

"Я тебя люблю,"

"Right, okay..." I smiled. He was so confusing. He irritated me to an unhealthy extent, but I could never hate him for it. I walked down the hall, finding Xion waiting by the cafeteria for me.

**A/N: Gah!! This chapter was hard, mainly because I despise Xion. Play 358/2 Days, and you'll understand. She is a cheap, team-killing whore. And I apologize if this chapter is lacking... PIZZAZZ. **

**And to add, I take Russian II instead of Spanish or French [Boring!!] and the first thing Axel says in Russian is, "Hello Sexy, Welcome to Russian..."**

**The second one, I'm not telling. Either look it up [you shouldn't if you like fluff 33] or wait until I reveal it's mysterious translation *Plays James Bond Theme Song***

**I'm tired and my caffine supply is running quite low. So I'm going to to WalMart in a few minutes. I need skinny jeans, Mountain Dew, Sunny D, and Chocolate [maybe Strawberry] Pocky Sticks. And I have An~Cafe stuck in my head. So I'll get cracking on the new chapter when I return.**

**Chapter III Spoiler: Angst. And AkuRoku will grow. :DD**

**Ecks Ohh Ecks Ohh [XOXO],**

**Sam~~~ :3**

**P.S. Just in case you're stupid, I am apart of the female specimen. I have a boy-girl name, so it gets confusing on whether I am a girl or a boy. Hah! Kidding! I love you all!**

***Holds you at gunpoint, forcing you to write a review***

**;D**


	3. Chapter 3

**What's cracking, my peeps!! WalMart was fun, but they ran out of those sour candies I like. Ah well. I did get my Pocky and skinny jeans, though. Alrighty, I promised angst and AkuRoku and you're probably saying, "WTF, mate!? He's with Xion!?" Just hang in there. Trust me. **

**And I need help: I tend to speed up the storyline too much, so if I'm writing TOO fast and rushed, please let me know. And ignore my stupid typos. I try to avoid them as much as humanly possible. And one last help... I tend to sound short and choppy with the sentences, so please let me know if I'm starting to sound like a robot. **

**Спасибо вам, мои красивые вещи :))**

**[Thank You, My Pretties :))]**

**Onward with the story!!**

**Disclaimer: Yep. Here I am, twiddling my thumbs, waiting to win the Kingdom Hearts Deed. But my friend can't beat a poker game against Luxord for it... So... Yes. I own nothing. As usual.**

It's been about a week that I've lived here in Twilight Town. And Axel is still making me love/hate him, Demyx is bugging me to join his band, and things with Xion are okay. We've been on a few dates like to the movies or out to dinner. Just the safe, typical, date sites. But recently, she's been pressuring me to have sex with her already. Which I keep declining. I've only been seeing her for a week. I am NOT the one to whore it up and have sex with someone who is still practically a stranger.

I woke up this morning and showered, as usual. I got dressed in my skinny jeans, T-Shirt, belt, and I cleaned my piercings with my sea-salt solution. I checked my phone. No new messages, no missed calls, nothing. Sora or Riku should've called by now. I slammed my phone shut, frustrated, and left to school.

I walked down the nice neighborhood I finally lived in. I always was a ghetto monkey, as my dad liked to put it. But that was his attempt at humor. I followed the bike path that lead down to the high school. I lit a cigarette and took out my iPod. My head wandered away as I thought about my old life...

* * *

Destiny Islands was not as high-end as those travel commercials on TV made it out to be. Or at least, 95% of Destiny Islands wasn't. The other 5% was rich people who lived on the island right off the mainland. I lived in a relatively nice house. Two bedroom, one bathroom. Sure, it was still cheap and dilapidated, but it was one of the more luxurious houses on the block. Sora lived on one side of me, while Riku was on the other.

Those two always knew they were gay. It was official when both turned down the one and only Kairi Miller. She was the girl that was rumored to "put out" with anyone in the animal kingdom. I never believed that, honestly. Anyway, they both turned her down within the same week. Kairi was furious, but she moved on. We were 13.

Then, a year later, they were spending the night and we made up a game. We played Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and whoever lost had to answer any truth or dare. Let's just say that I was the worst SSBB player. Ever. So Riku asked after my humble defeat, "Are you gay?"

Of course, I was an innocent 14-year-old, so I was completely honest, "I have no clue,"

Sora and Riku shot each other a sneaky look, then looked at me. Riku said, "Okay... Let's find out!!"

"What? How do we-" Then I was interrupted with Sora's tongue in my mouth. Sure, I liked it. I kissed back and we started rubbing each other. I felt blood rush and I felt Riku's hands on my shoulders. Then he jerked me away and Sora laughed.

"Okay Roxas," Riku said in a serious tone, "If you're hard: gay. If you're not: Stupid- I mean straight."

I looked at them nervously while Sora invaded my bubble. "Hard!!" He smiled big and gave the thumbs up.

"Thanks, douches," I muttered and picked up the game controller again.

So that was my first gay moment and I've been bi ever since. I only let Sora and Riku touch me anywhere because they were my best friends and I trusted them. No one else. But ever since they've developed a healthy, sexually-active relationship, I've been the third wheel. I don't mind, they're really cute together. Especially since they were rivals with every sport or game ever. Not me, I was yet again, the third wheel. I preferred music and drugs and cussing.

* * *

I arrived at school with literally, 6 seconds to spare. I walked to class and sat in my spot, next to an absent Axel. My heart sank. Where was he? Ah, I forgot. I don't care. But seriously... why was his absence bugging me so much? I haven't sat at lunch with him yet and I haven't skipped school yet, either. I took out my phone and it said: **New Message From Sora**

**Hey! How's the new school?**

I quickly texted back: **Sucks. I wish I was home.**

**Same here. Meet anyone new?**

**Just a girl, Xion. We're together, actually. **I stealthily texted while pretending to do classwork.

**Xion? Isn't that Kairi's cousin?**

**Probably...? They look a lot alike. Except Xion has black hair.**

**Anyone else you met? **He texted back after 10 minutes.

**Axel. He's this really *cough*hot*cough* guy in all my classes. I barely know him, but it seems like he really wants to be close friends.**

**Hot, you say... I say you should send me a picture or something.**

**I'll get on it... Maybe... How's Riku?**

**The same. He says hi. And he says that you should become close with this Axel guy. **I looked up, only to find Axel's seat empty and the period already almost over.

**Gee, thanks Riku. Gotta go, see you around.**

**Later ^__^**

I snapped my phone shut to find an Axel sitting by me. I was startled to see him there all of a sudden. I didn't hear him come in or anything. I asked, "Where were you?"

"Tardy. Why? You missed me?"

"As if," I snorted.

"Who was that you were texting?"

"My friend, Sora."

"Right, so will you finally sit at lunch with me?" He put on a devastated look.

"Um..." I thought about it, then he hardened his puppy-dog beg, "Sure..."

His eyes perked up, "Fantastic!!"

I punched him lightly on the arm and turned back to my own desk. Pretty much, the entire first half of school floated by, with me ignoring Axel's attempts to bond and tune out of all the teachers' lectures. And also, I was extremely close to killing my gym coach, because he yelled at me for changing in the locker room stall instead of out in the open. Fuck him, he didn't know my story.

The lunch bell rang and I headed to my locker. I grabbed my iPod and a pack of cigarettes. This school were Nazis when it came to smoking. Screw that. I shut my locker and turned to head to Axel's locker. I was interrupted by Xion, "Hey Roxas!!"

"Xion, what's up?" My fake-smile spread across my lips.

"Ready for lunch?"

"I'm actually sitting with someone else today..."

Outrage plastered all over her, "Roxas, why!? We're together, therefore, you sit with me!!"

"Sorry Xion," I said mellowly, sorta amused by her rage.

"Roxas," She sank down to the begging look.

"Xion," I hate the weak, feeble act that everyone I've been with does on me. Sure, Axel did to get me to sit with him, but he did it in a mock, teasing way. He was different.

She sank even deeper, if that was possible, and she managed to get her eyes to water, "Please...?"

My head was spinning. She was a text book repeat scenario. I should've said no. I should've walked away. I should've told the truth. "Alright... fine..."

Her fake persona poofed away and a satisfied tone drowned her voice, "Great!! Thanks, Roxy!!"

I winced with pain. I hated being 'Roxy.' Wait... why did I let Axel call me that? Ah, fuck. Whatever. Axel!! I forgot about him!! I made a promise to sit with him, dammit... I need to make it up to him...

Xion grabbed my hand and I followed her into the cafeteria and seated by a bunch of her friends whose names I could care less to remember. "Hey Roxas!" A blonde one said to me.

"Yo," I strived to sound as bored and arrogant as possible.

"How's it going with Roxas, Xion?" Another girl asked.

Xion smiled, "Good, but he's such a wimp sometimes," She gave me a playful nudge.

The entire table laughed. My face burned with fury and I sunk lower into my seat, "Shut up," My voice was muffled by my mortification.

"Aww... Why?" A chubby girl asked when the table calmed down.

Xion snorted, "He's a little virgin!! No tongue, no touching, no sex!!" I could tell that she tried to sound humorous and airy. She sucked at it. But not to the others. They bursted out laughing and called me a bunch of names like "homo" and "faggot."

I stood up, "Screw this, I'm going home,"

"Wait!!" Xion grabbed me, "Don't be such a baby, we're just messing around. It's not your fault that you are innocent," She laughed again, trying to signal her joking nature. I didn't buy it.

I yanked my arm back to my side and looked at her, "I don't need this again. Later, Xion," I put as much hate in my eyes as possible.

"Roxy..." She finally got that her "teasing" was getting to me, "I... I'm sorry..."

"That's what they all say," I spat, leaving the lunch room and ducking into the boys' bathroom. I washed my hands and looked in the mirror. I saw my entire past flash in my cerulean eyes. I screamed and punched the mirror, a good-sized crack traveling up the middle. Then I cracked. A tear escaped and my throat was unbelievably dry. My chest felt heavy and once again, I felt alone and scared.

"AHHH!!" I yelled in my throat, loud enough to vent my anger, but quiet enough to not draw attention. With one last punch to the mirror, my knuckles were bloody and I was calm enough to merge into the public eye. The clock said that there was still 20 minutes of lunch left. I wanted to apologize to Axel, but I needed to go home.

With a slow, deep, painful breath, I sprinted down the hallway. I had my iPod, my phone, my wallet, and my cigarettes with me, so I didn't need to stop by my locker. _Almost there, you're almost there, Roxas. Just make it home and into your bathroom and you'll be okay. Get used to it again. _

My legs were weak, but strong enough to carry me past a tall guy with flaming red hair, "Roxy!! Where are you-" I swung the door open and left behind Axel, who was calling after me. I picked up the speed and ran up the bike path to my house. Past pedestrians, past the school, past the entire world.

I sucked in a breath and my heart was pounding in my ears. "ROX-AS!!" I heard a faint yell for my name. _Forget Axel, he doesn't care about you. He's just another person in the cruel game of Life. Move on. C'mon you dumbfuck, quit walking and RUN!! You're almost home._

The neighborhood I lived in entered my view and I jolted down the calm, eerie street. 2414, 2415, and 2416, my house. Good thing my dad was at work; he knew I was infamous for skipping class, but I didn't want to deal with him. My feet shakily hauled my skinny ass down the hall and into the bathroom.

My fingers got straight to work: peeling of my shirt, unbuttoning my pants, and turning on the bathtub. Once I was just in my boxers, I soaked my swollen, rarely overworked feet in the tub. I fumbled around, trying to grab the cigarettes out of my jeans. DAMMIT!! I had my cigarettes, but while I was running, I dropped my phone, iPod, and wallet. Shit, that wouldn't end well.

I lit a cigarette and placed it between my lips. Hidden away, I located my pocketknife. It was small, but the bitch was sharp. I took a long drag out of my cigarette and held the smoke in my throat. Carefully and strategically finding a spot on my thigh in between two healing scars, I slowly slit my flesh. The blood trickled down, slowly, then started to really run. Sure it hurt, but I was growing immune to the pain. I was growing immune to all pain. Well... not really.

The smoke that was dancing in my lungs was blown out and released with a fresh drag taking its place. I loved the tingle I got when I smoked. My eyes drooped, and I patiently watched the blood drip and clot on its own time. After about 10 minutes, the blood ceased and I attacked the fresh wound with Neosporin and bandages. Once my crime was over, I thoroughly got rid of any evidence. No blood, no trash, and I aired out the bathroom of my cigarette stench. I looked back and studied the scene, placate with my cleaning job. I dressed back in my clothes and left to find my missing stuff.

A soda was calling my name in the kitchen, so I grabbed one and quickly polished it off. I threw away the can and headed for the front door. "Ahh!!" I yelped.

"Hello to you too," Axel said, who was meekly standing on the porch.

"What- When- How long were you here?!" I yelled.

He held up his wrist, checking the time on his invisible watch. "About... 20 minutes... Ish."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Stalker,"

"Pfft. You wish. I just followed the trail of valuables to your house," He pulled out my wallet, phone, and iPod out of his pocket, "And I wanted to know why you stood me up,"

"Gimme my shit, Axel," I scolded him

"Ah, ah, ah... You only get them if you go out to lunch with me," He smiled triumphantly.

"Damn, alright, fine," I glared halfheartedly at him. I was getting hungry, anyway.

His eyes widened, shocked that I was playing along, "Sweet!! Let's go!!"

"Fine, but you're paying. Got it memorized?" I said in a bittersweet-mockery-Axel voice.

**A/N: Hola!! Was this chapter good? Hah! Go Roxas, standing up to Shee-On [Xion, that's how you pronounce it, Shee-On.] I'm debating whether to put her back in the storyline or not.... but that's not the point. The point is to see what you think :))**

**And I feel that I must admit: I do not cut personally, and I have no clue what I was talking about... So if it sounds fake or... just plain wrong, please let me know. Thanks ((:**

**So this chapter was the angst, and next shall be a delicious "date" for AkuRoku. This'll be where a ton of questions are answered... So hang in there, Kitty. I believe I should get to work on that one, so I must say ta~ta for now...**

**Love,**

**Sam~~~ :33**

**PS: Review, Bitches ;D**


	4. Chapter 4

**So what's up? I've been fishing around for inspiration, so I did what I do best: play KH2 33 Ahaha!! So anyway, I'm at the stupid Xaldin fight and I'm getting pissed because he takes so long to kill. Therefore, I am writing this chapter, obviously stalling to kill Xaldin. :DD**

**Anyway, sorry for ranting. Moving on, I introduce thee: CHAPTER 4!! :)) So I hope you enjoy this one... I made it as a labor of love :33... So kick back and read.**

**Disclaimer: *Checks Wallet* Nope. Just $4, a Get Out Of Jail Free card, and a gum wrapper. Sorry. I am lacking any proof of ownership. Maybe next time...**

We walked down the street and into a diner. I was immediately overwhelmed by the smell of hamburgers and coffee. "Why hello there..." A girl about a year or so older than us was holding menus, "Would you like a booth, table, or be seated at the bar?" She giggled and batted her eyelashes.

Axel was obviously disgusted by her flirtatious nature, "Booth," We followed her to a practically empty part of the restaurant, and slid into a booth. "One menu for you, Axel," She smiled and looked at me, "And one for your... friend,"

"Thanks... Uh.. Stephanie..." Axel mumbled.

"Selphie," She corrected, not looking away from me, "I'm Selphie,"

I simply looked back at her, no emotion, no interest, "Roxas,"

"Sweet name," She smiled bigger.

"Thanks," I looked away and at Axel, who gave me a "I'm-About-To-Shoot-Her" look. I returned the expression and looked down at the menu.

"What can I get you, Axel... and Ro-o-o-xas...?" She said my name in a singsong voice.

"Give us some time, Stephanie,"

"Selphie," She hissed at Axel, but continued beaming at me, "You should know that,"

Finally, another waitress called for her and Selphie left. "And I assume this is an acquaintance of yours?" I asked.

He snorted, "Something like that..."

"Care to explain?"

"Selphie is a year older than us and she used to go to our school,"

"Where does she go now? Twilight Town High is the only high school in the town,"

"Hah, funny story about that. She effed around, got knocked up, had an abortion, then failed out of school,"

I raised an eyebrow, "And that's a funny story?"

"It is to me," He smiled and shot the back of Selphie's head an icy stare.

"What's the beef between you two?"

"She dated my brother, and then cheated on him with two other guys,"

"Wow, that's pretty tragic,"

"And I'm not done. She cheated on my brother and tried to cover it up by saying I was coming on to her,"

"Were you?" I twiddled with the sugar packets.

"Fuck no, and Reno was smart enough to not believe her,"

"Reno?"

"My brother,"

"Ahh... Okay, so can I have my shit back?"

He laughed, "Nope. You have to tell me a little bit about yourself to earn each thing back,"

My head found it's way to the table and smacked against it. "Damn. It. Axel."

"Ready to play? Alright, Question 1: Are you gay, straight, taken...?"

I scowled at him, "Bi, for your information,"

He smiled big, "Same here!!"

"Sweet!!" I sang in a happy voice, "Can I have my shit back?!"

"Hrm... Fine," He slid over my wallet, "Question 2: What kind of music you got?" He then turned on my iPod and scrolled through my artists, "Escape The Fate?"

"Yep, if you hate them, you're stupid,"

"Craig or Ronnie?" He looked up.

"Craig. Even thought Ronnie didn't do the whole bar fight/murder thing, Craig just has such a sexy voice. And I liked him better in Blessthefall,"

"Impressive, you know your stuff,"

"Duh," I rolled my eyes, "Can I have my iPod back?"

He slid it over, "And Question 3: I want your entire life story. All of it."

I looked at him with a pained expression. I never planned on telling anyone that story. Ever. Not any of it. "Err... Well... Um... Let's see..."

Selphie interrupted me, "May I take your order?"

Axel looked up at her, "Bacon cheese burgers for the both of us. I want a lemonade, he wants a Pepsi,"

"I am perfectly capable of ordering for myself," I said.

"Didn't I get your order right?"

"That's not the point," How did he know so much about me? As much as I wanted to believe, he was not a stalker. Not even a little bit. What was it about Axel that made me want to... go deeper with him? Axel alone was breaking all my rules. He did everything I hated, but had some odd charm to it. I hated how he thought he could get my whole story, mainly because I knew for myself that he could. And he would probably succeed.

"So anyway," Axel said after Selphie was shooed away, "Where were we? Oh, yes. What's you're life story?"

I thought hard. This was the moment I could erase my past and start fresh. I could forget everything. Move on for good. After a long silence, I sucked in a breath, "I couldn't tell you, it's still being written,"

He smiled shyly, "Good answer,"

"What?"

"Nothing, just that you are... the one..."

"The one what?" I asked.

"Oh nothing... Nevermind,"

"Whatever," I would've pried deeper, but our food arrived. I spread ketchup all over my food and felt the burning stare of Axel. To be deeply honest, I liked that I was with him. I knew he wasn't going to try anything, despite his pushy and aggressive charm.

"So do I get my phone back?" I said with a huge bite of food in my mouth.

"Nope,"

"What!?" I nearly choked on my French fry.

"You need to answer the question before you get anything back,"

"I told you!"

"That wasn't a valid answer?"

"Then what is? A memoir of the first 17 years of my existence?"

Axel took a sip out of his drink, "Nahhh... I don't like reading..."

"Then what? A speech? A video?"

"How about... I'll give you your phone back if you make this promise to me,"

"What promise?"

"Your story is still being written, right?"

"Yep," I said suspiciously.

"Then promise me that I'll be apart of that story from here on out,"

My heart stopped. That was the equivalent of asking for my hand in marriage. Or being sewed to my hip. "W-Why would you want to be apart of that story?"

He shrugged and glanced across the empty restaurant, "Because, I like romances."

I grew beet-red, "I thought you said you didn't like to read!!"

"Meh... I don't need to be consistent,"

"I hope you realize that I am this close to stabbing you with a spork,"

"Hah!! Thanks!! That's the nicest thing you've said to me all day!!"

"And I'll make due on that threat,"

"Geez Roxy, Anger Management classes are available,"

"And the psycho ward is looking for you,"

\He looked back at me and took another swig of his drink, "So is that a promise?"

"Depends," I leaned back in my seat, "Do you want to board this crazy train? And live to tell about it?"

"Yes," He said in a very serious voice. Wow, this dude was no joke. But something about him... Nevermind.

I sighed, "Fine, you can be in the story,"

He smiled, "Thanks, Roxy!!"

"Yeah... You're just lucky I'm nice,"

"Shall we make it official?"

"What?"

"C'mon, I know a place," He finished off the last of his plate and put money on the table, "Money's on the table," He called to Selphie and I followed him down the street. I lit a cigarette and took in a long drag. He stole the cigarette from me and sucked on it too.

"Dude!!" I yelled.

"What? Is Roxy mad that someone stole an indirect kiss from him?"

"Just watch your balls. I might rip them off,"

He laughed and lit his own cigarette. We walked in silence and into a dingy, more secluded part of town. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"The Parlour,"

"The Parlour?"

"Yeah, Reno owns it,"

"What is it?"

"You will see," He lead me to a shop-like building with one small window that had a neon sign saying, **The Parlour: Tattoos and Piercings **

"Okay? You took me to a tattoo parlor that your brother owns?"

"And again, it's P-A-R-L-O-_U_-R, not P-A-R-L-O-R,"

"Enough with the visibility of our conversation!!" I yelled. How does he do that!?

"Then don't screw up," He swung open the door and the overpowering smell of incense hit me.

"What's with the foo-foo smell!?" Axel called out.

A voice from a back room that sounded EXACTLY like Axel's called, "Incense!! You know the drill!!"

"Yeah, whatever," Axel muttered. He then shut the door, locked it, and turned on the fan in the corner.

"Drill? What drill?" I asked.

"Don't tell, but Reno is a pothead. He's not deathly addicted, mainly for fun, and he's smoking it up right now,"

"Ahh, I see," I could smell the marijuana under the layer of lavender incense, "So why am I here? We gonna do some chain smoking?"

"If you want, but that's not the goal,"

"Then what is the main goal?"

He looked at me, "Where are we?"

"A tattoo parlour, with a U, that reeks of your brother's weed,"

"And what do people do in a tattoo parlour?"

"Get tattoos?" I pretended to act stupid.

"Bingo! You and me are going to get tattoos, promising that we'll always be apart of each other's stories,"

"And when did I agree to that?" I crossed my arms and leaned against the front counter.

"You did when you want this back," He pulled out my phone and dangled it over a fishtank. With no fish.

"Fuck. Alright, fine. I'll get the damn tattoo," I pouted and flicked the blonde spikes out of my eyes.

"Great, RENO!!" He called to the back room.

"What the fuck do you want!?" Reno called.

"Your services!!"

"Dammit, Axel!!"

"Get over it and get your stoned ass out here!!" He smiled at me.

"We're gonna let someone who's high do our tattoos?!" I was completely bewildered.

"Sure, why not? Reno knows exactly what he's doing. Even when he's glazed."

"Right. Because I would trust an intoxicated person inject permanent ink through a needle into my flesh,"

"Fine. We'll have Rikku do your tattoo."

"Rikku?"

"His girlfriend/business partner. She's a really great artist,"

"So Reno is straight?"

"Bi. This is his first girlfriend,"

"Ahh... so where's your parents?"

"Where's yours?"

"Mom died," I cringed at that lie, "And I live with my dad. He's cool and all, but we don't see eye to eye,"

"As in, your dad hates you because you're a homo?" Axel sounded totally serious and calm.

"He would _if _he knew," I rolled my eyes. I would never tell him that I was gay. I mean, bi.

"Sorry, my dad would be the same way,"

"And he has _two _queer sons," I laughed, trying to ease up any tension.

"Not exactly,"

"Why? Where is he?"

"Both parents died in a car crash a few years back. Reno came to Twilight Town, and I just followed along,"

"I'm sorry," I spoke sincerely, "Where were you before here?"

"Hollow Bastion,"

"That's a nice city. Money-type place, though."

"Yeah. We had enough to buy a house, college for me, and this shop for Reno,"

"That's cool," I said, staring at the small shop. It had a small waiting room-type-thing, a glass counter filled with different body jewelry, a few chairs in the back, and the entire side wall was filled with various tattoo designs and sketches.

"So I'm gonna let Rikku surprise us with a design,"

"'Kay. Sounds good," I really didn't care. I've been thinking about getting a tattoo for a while.

A tall, lithe redhead emerged from the back room. He was skinny and wore jeans, a black tank-top, revealing many tattoos. Just like Axel, his hair was flaming and spike-y, but he had a long, straight ponytail stretching down his back. He also had red tattoos on his face, framing his equally green eyes. A girl beside him stood there, much shorter. She was thin, blonde, and hot. She wore a belly shirt, short shorts, and Converse. Her blonde hair was braided on one half, straight on the other, and flowing over a headband thing.

"Who's this?" Reno asked.

"Roxas," Axel introduced, "He's my friend from school,"

"Ahh... him," Reno smiled and turned to me, "I'm Reno. Sorry to be meeting you while I'm baked,"

"Really? You don't seem too bad," I noted.

"We redheads have better tolerance to drugs and booze," Axel laughed.

"I'm Rikku," The girl smiled big.

"Ah sweet, I have a friend named Riku," I shook her hand.

"But he spells it with one K, I use two," She smiled and laughed.

I turned to Axel, "Now I know where you get it,"

"Oh no, you should meet Paine," Axel laughed, "She's fucking psychic,"

"Axel!" Reno hollered, "Language!"

"Fuck that," Axel rolled his eyes.

"So, who's first?" Reno asked, "C'mon, Baby Brother. You go first."

"Alright. And Roxas wants Rikku to do his, since she's a Straightedge,"

"Sweet!! Mine will turn out better anyway," Rikku gave me a wink and a smile.

They lead me and Axel to two reclining chairs and we eased into them. "Where do you want it?" Rikku asked.

"Hip," Axel answered, "Both of us,"

I slowly unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down, only revealing my hips, "Okey Dokey!! I'll be done in a jiffy!!" Rikku smiled and got to work. She carefully cleaned the tattoo gun and inked up the gun. She rubbed my hip with some cleaner. I squeezed my eyes shut. _Not there!! No one EVER touches me there!! Gahhh!! _As much as I was freaking out internally, I trusted Axel. He would make sure that Rikku wouldn't hurt me. Which is creepy since I barely know Axel. She turned on the gun and the low murmur buzzed, echoing in the small store. The needle made contact with my skin and my face burned. The pain started small, but grew when she really got into it. The pain reached through my hip, into my spine, and throughout my body.

My breathing sped up and I blinked my eyes open. Rikku looked strictly professional and was concentrating on the tattoo. She smiled and looked up at me, "Hang in there Kiddo,"

"Right," I choked out. Piercings were quick and easy, while tattoos made the pain stretch out over time.

After 20 painful minutes, Rikku clicked the gun off and rubbed down my tattoo with more cleaning solution. Axel, who was done long ago, looked over at me. "Feeling okay?"

"Peachy," I muttered.

"Dayum, I'm good!!" Rikku stepped back and admired her work.

Reno looked over at my hip, "Pfft, it's simple,"

"You did the same thing!!" Rikku snapped.

"And? Too simple!!" He complained.

"Oh, go suck another joint," Rikku barked.

"Won't you join me?"

"I told you before: I don't smoke,"

"And? I still need my Squeeze around,"

"Okay, I'm going to pretend you did not just say that,"

"Oh, but I did," He laughed and walked to the back room. Rikku sat in place before joining him.

"No glove, no love!!" Axel cackled to them. Rikku responded with her middle finger directed to Axel.

I took a hand mirror and looked to see what was apart of my skin forever. A heart with with a black border and a rainbow in the inside. And in the middle of the hear: XIII. "What's the 13 for?" I asked.

"Not 13, but XIII,"

"Oh shut up!!"

"Moody much? And anyway, I have no clue..."

"Weird."

"And Roxy?"

"Hmm?"

"The tattoo is immensely sexy on you," He smiled and I saw he had the exact same thing, but with a VIII in the middle for a tattoo, "And we are finally apart of each other's stories. Forever."

"Guhhh, don't remind me," I groaned.

"Very funny... I don't know why they did something so fruity..."

"Axel?"

"Yo,"

"Can I have my phone back?"

"Only if you give me a kiss,"

I rolled my eyes and gave him a good punch in the stomach. He laughed and clutched his gut. I got him good. He weakly handed me my phone and I nonchalantly took it.

"See you tomorrow Axel,"

"Bye Princess,"

**A/N: Hah!! I think that was a good ending. I'm quite proud of this chapter, frankly. What did you think? AkuRoku? Yes? I thought so. I hope this gave you a general awareness of their relationship. And by the way, I have never gotten a tattoo [yet] so I had no clue how to describe the pain. Hopefully, I nailed it. I based their tattoo designs off of what I'm getting when I hit 16. Except, I'm getting Demyx's name instead of a Roman Numeral. Demyx is my favorite person ever. Yes, even fake people are people too :33**

**Geez... I have stupid school tomorrow and I need to pee. And take a nice long bath. Bathing helps me brainstorm for new chapter ideas. :)) So review. That's you're half of the job, and my half is to write. BREAK!! *claps hands* **

**That's just about all I have to say...**

**Later Taters,**

**Sam~~~ **


	5. Chapter 5

**Why hello there :)) **

**Jesus Christ, I've been reading my own FanFics, and I noticed so many friggin' typos. I am so ashamed... I hope you can see through that and ignore my stupidity. Note to self: the squiggly, red lines under each word isn't for decoration. It's the computer gently reminding you that just might be retarded. X))**

**Anyyyywhooo, as I was saying, just ignore my dumb typos that I'm too lazy to go back and fix. Maybe some other time, but sure as hell not now. It's 12:11 on a school night. And I NEED 12 hours minimum to function properly... Where was I? Ahh yess... the story...**

**Disclaimer: harrumph... nothing...**

I walked through the front door of my house, "Dad!! I'm home!!"

"It's almost 4!! You had me worried!!" My dad stormed out of the kitchen and into my bedroom where I quickly retreated to.

"Chill pickle, I'm alive and well," I thumbed through a skateboarding magazine and placed my iPod in my ears.

"Fair enough," He slouched against my door frame, "Where were you anyway?"

"Getting a tattoo," I said, not looking up, nor fearing any rage from my dad.

"Really... Who did it?"

"A friend. Calm down. Nothing inappropriate,"

"Can I see it?"

"Nahhh..."

He crossed his arms, "Don't take that tone with me,"

I looked up from my magazine and pulled an earbud out, "Please enlighten me, All Mighty One, since when have I ever been respectful? You'd think that you'd get used to it after 17 years. Good thing I'm not _disrespectful_,"

He snorted, defeated, "You're too much like me,"

"Is that all?" I placed the earbud back and turned up the volume.

"No, one more thing,"

"What?"

"You're an ass," He laughed and walked away, slamming my door behind him. I rolled my eyes and pulled off my pants. The scars running along my pale thighs were red and deep. My eyes gently closed and my fingers carefully traced along the different cuts. I stood up and looked at my tattoo in the mirror. The skin around the ink was red and burning, but the tattoo itself was fine. In my opinion, the tattoo looked great, no matter how amazingly fruity it was.

But what did the XIII mean?

* * *

I fished around my locker and tried to make sense of the clutter and mess I already managed to make. It was Monday, so I had a full, waking-up-too-early week ahead of me. "Morning Roxas," A soft voice said behind me.

"What do you want?" I refused to turn around.

"I wanted to apologize for Friday. I had no right to share all that information and publicly humiliate you in front of all my friends, please forgive me?"

"I forgive you," I sorta did forgive her. She was in the past and I had no true reason to hold some form of grudge against her.

"Great!! Thanks!! So want to go out tonight? My mom told me of this really great-"

"Xion, I said I forgive you, not 'I want to date you again.' I'm sorry, but I don't have time for a relationship right now. Or ever."

Even though I wasn't looking at her, I could feel the hate/sadness she was feeling. "Roxas... It was just one mistake..."

"It's not you, it's me..." I played the biggest card in Relationship History.

"Oh, whatever. You be the pissy bitch you are. Trust me, if I won't date you, no one else will,"

I laughed at that one, "Excuse me, but weren't you the one who asked _me, _the new kid, out?"

She was at a loss of words, "Shut up,"

"I thought so. So if you excuse me, I have Russian," I walked down the hall and away from Xion, away from drama. The bell rang seconds after I ducked into class.

"Tsk, tsk. You're tardy, Roxy," Axel shook his head disapprovingly.

"Check the clock, Genius: I had 3 seconds to spare," I said, moody and cranky.

"Someone is in a good mood today,"

"Don't start with me,"

"I know just will cheer you up!!" Axel hummed.

"What? And if you say another tattoo, I will rip off your favorite appendage,"

"Oh no!! My right arm!!" He shrieked.

I laughed at his joke, "Funny, so what will 'cheer me up?'"

"Demyx said that the carnival is in town this weekend only!!"

"I hate carnivals," My eyes drooped, about to pass out.

"Aww... C'mon..." He begged and whined.

"I'll pass,"

"Please?" He put on a helpless look.

"No. And that's final,"

"Harrumph..." He pouted and slouched in his desk, "But if you decide to go, I'll be there by 7 on Friday,"

"Good to know,"

"Wanna skip out the rest of the day?"

"I suppose, I'm so tired,"

"Cool, we'll leave after Russian," He smiled and turned away. I glanced to my other side. Wait... there was another side of me? I've been so busy dealing with Axel, I didn't notice the quiet kid with almost purple hair that covered half his face. He was silently reading a book and listening to his iPod. The guy was extremely shy or whatever, because he then looked up and turned to me, startled and blushing hard.

"Oh!! May I help you...?" He asked.

"Nothing, just didn't know there was a person on the other side of me," I tried to laugh.

"Thanks....?" He raised an eyebrow, "Say, aren't you new?"

I nodded, "That would be me,"

"I'm Zexion," He smiled and shook my hand.

Axel leaned over and barked, "Hey Zexy!! Go find your own gay lover!!"

"AX-EL!!" I hissed, completely mortified.

"Relax," Zexion laughed, "Don't worry, I'm gay too,"

"Wait... that's just the thing, I'm not _with _Axel,"

Axel moped, "Not yet,"

My throat grew a snowball and I thought about that. _Not yet..._ What was that supposed to mean? "Oh shut up," I punched him in his boob and he laughed.

"And Axel," Zexion peered at him, "I'm taken, by the way,"

"Demyx said yes!?" He looked shocked.

"Mmmhhhmm..." He nodded approvingly.

He laughed and sat back in his chair, "Since you are his 'beau,'" He said with air-quotes around 'beau,' "Please get that kid neutered. He's too happy...."

"And you're not!?" I asked him quizzically.

"I'm not," He looked at me, "I'm clingy,"

I scoffed and Zexion laughed, "This is your definition of a healthy relationship?"

"Oh, you should see Roxy's threats," Axel winked at me.

"Shut up before I beat you with a small child," I narrowed my eyes, emphasizing my seriousness.

Zexion really laughed at that one, "Nice, I hope you know that you two would make a cute couple!!"

My face flushed and my heart raced. _A cute couple? Hmmm... _Before I got too deep in my thoughts, Axel laughed, "If we're such a cute couple, I say I deserve a kiss, right Roxy?"

"What?" I blinked, "No!! Quit smiling before I choke you out!!"

"Please!? One little kiss? I won't tell... Shhh..." He pressed his finger to his lips.

I rolled my eyes, "You already got my address, you took me out to lunch, you know my musical tastes, you know where I lived before, and you made me get a goddamn matching tattoo on my hip!! What more do you want!?"

Before he said anything, I interrupted, "And no, not the damn kiss,"

He slumped then asked, "Alright, how about your number?"

I gulped, "I..." *awkward snort* "Pfft... I don't have a phone... What are you talking about, Crazy?"

"Right, nice try. Isn't your phone what lead you to your tattoo?"

*Awkward snort* "What tattoo?" I glanced at Zexion who gave me a toothy grin, "Fine..." I took Axel's phone he pulled out and punched in my number. He did the same with mine.

"Now was that so hard?" Axel laughed.

"Shut up..." I groaned, "So why did you need it?"

"Just in case I wanted to talk to my Roxy,"

* * *

After Russian, me and Axel ducked out of the school and headed down the road. "Where do you want to go?" he asked, lighting his 3rd cigarette.

"I dunno,"

"C'mon, let's just go to the mall,"

"Okay, why?"

"No idea, but isn't the mall, like, the cliched truancy destination?" He asked.

"I suppose?" We walked downtown and into the mall. It wasn't all that amazing of a mall: it was clean, old people scuffling along slowly, generic music playing from speakers in potted plants, bored cashiers with no customers, fountains filled to the brim with pennies, holding false wishes. Axel lead me down the long strip, passing by clothing stores, food shops, and a kiddie playground.

"Planning on buying anything?" I asked him.

"Nothing in particular," He replied, walking into a music store, which was surprisingly filled with other teenagers who could only make it through one period of school. I flipped around a few oldies records: The Beatles, Elvis, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin. Thumbing through more record albums, not much longer, Axel was practically breathing on me.

"Personal space," I snapped. Axel groaned in protest but backed off of my neck, but not by much. I turned around, only to find his face centimeters away. I looked down at his lips, which looked rather soft for guys lips. My own lips tingled with the urge to lean in, which is what I was doing. Moving closer and closer, me and Axel had our noses touching. A few more millimeters would close the gap in between our lips. As close as I was, as loud as my heart was pounding, as much as I wanted it, I wasn't going to give in to what Axel wanted. Not this time.

Still in the same distance, so close to kissing, but not quite, I whispered, "Nice try, Slick,"

**A/N: Mwahaha!! I am so evil!! Sorry that this update took so long, I've been busy with sewing my Heartless Plushie [I found the instructions online!!], and I've been wrapped up with gymnastics. Plus, I've been thirsty for inspiration. No luck this round, so I basically had to take a break to pull something out of my ass for the story.**

**I hope you liked it and review!! And I've been curious, what do YOU think Roxas's deal is? Hmm...? I want to hear some predictions, ideas, and whatever you guys have :)) And have you guys heard Marilyn Manson's version of "This Is Halloween"? Ohhh Mai Gawd, it was awesome!! I prefer the cute, Disney version, but wow. Mr. Manson did a pretty scary good job on it. Hahaha!! **

**Moving on, if I neglect to update tomorrow, I would like to wish you all: Have A Happy And Safe Turkey Day ((: I'm thankful for all your reviews to help me become a better writer!! And I'm keeping it a low~key Thanksgiving, going out to a nice restaurant and buying a grocery~store~made pie, so I will probably be writing all day tomorrow. So the chances of an update tomorrow are pretty promising.**

**Later Taters,**

**~~~Sam :33 **

**PS: Happy Thanksgiving!! *Blows Kisses***


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I am well aware you all want to kill me in some way right now... and I'm sorry... )): I am not the best to stick with a story. So that is why I strapped myself to my bed and I am NOT getting up until I have a quality Chapter... what chapter are we on? 5? 6? Whatever... Hee hee!! Hope you enjoy!!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing... **

Thank Jesus it was Friday. I would've died if I had another full day skipping with Axel. I mean, he's cool and all, but the pitiful attempts to get in my pants just wasn't working. Since it was Friday, I found myself rather happy and sunshine-ish rather than my Pouty Pants Persona.

"Morning Roxy!!" Axel sang when I took my spot in homeroom, "How is my baby?"

"I don't know, considering the fact that I am NOT your baby," My sunshine: Gone.

"Ouch," Axel sniffled.

"Hey," Demyx leaned into Axel's and my conversation, "You guys going to the carnival tonight!?"

I slapped my forehead. I've been praying all week that Axel would forget the carnival and I could have a peaceful weekend, "Shut up Demy!!"

"Whoa," Axel slowed down, "Carnival? Roxy, we just _have _to go!!"

"Why? I want to stay home. Away from you."

"Please, Roxy?" Axel whined.

"Yeah, _pleeeaaassee_?" Demyx chimed in.

Zexion appeared out of no where and wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear, "If you go, I'll bet Axel will... reward you..."

Shivers ran down my spine as I interpreted that innuendo to be sex. "Alright," My body tensed, "I'll go,"

Demyx smiled and laughed, "Yay!!" while Zexion gave me an approving hug. Axel tried to lean in for a kiss, but right when his lips were grazing mine, my tongue shot out and attacked him.

"Mmm..." Axel licked my slobber off his lips while he was still breathing on me, "You taste so good, Roxy."

Not exactly the reaction I wanted. Whenever I did that to Sora or Riku, they freaked out and backed off. "If you don't leave my personal bubble," I warned, "You'll never get to taste me again,"

That seemed to work, since Axel was back in his own seat within a matter of seconds.

* * *

The carnival was being held in a big empty field so they could fit all the booths and attractions. I waited patiently by the ticket stand, just like we planned. I kicked a pebble and muttered softly; they said to meet here at 8, and it was 8:10. The sun was setting, almost gone behind the glimmering skylights of the city. Unlike the first few weeks I lived here, it was actually breezy and peaceful, as opposed to the violent rain and freezing temperatures. The crowds were starting to lose all the families with children and gain the teenagers and adults, since the carnival was open since 5. A small girl was crying to her mom, apparently wanting a churro. I wanted a churro, but I needed to wait until Zexion, Demyx, and Axel showed up.

Shoving my hands deep into my hoodie's kangaroo-pouch-pocket, I leaned against the stand and had half a mind to just go home. This wasn't my idea in the first place. My eyes blinked shut and I heard familiar voices. "There he is!!"

"Where!?"

"Right there!!"

"O-M-G!!"

My eyes jolted wide and I saw Sora and Riku running full speed towards me. "Sora!? Riku!?" My mouth was wide open.

"That would be us, Einstein..." Riku laughed. Same teasing, mockery Riku.

"Seriously," Sora smiled, "I don't think we honor that guy properly,"

I laughed. My two best friends showed up all of a sudden. "How did you guys know I was here?"

"Your dad," Sora exclaimed triumphantly.

"Hah, I'll bet," My dad really liked Sora and Riku. Mainly because he didn't know they were gay.

"It's great to see you!!" Sora took me in a big hug. He was basically my twin brother; we were that close.

"So why are you here so suddenly?" I asked.

"Just to say hi. We're here only for Thanksgiving weekend," Riku answered.

"And to make oh-so-sweet love to our little Foxy-Roxy!!" Sora pulled me into a tight hug and I hugged back. His hand brushed my ass, and usually, I would scream and cry and freak and cuss, but like I said: I trusted Sora and Riku.

"Foxy-Roxy? Hah, that's a new one!!" I heard a certain Redhead's voice call. A chorus of snickers followed, probably Demyx and Zexion. I was right.

The three were walking towards us, which called Sora to smile and whisper, "Who are _they?!_"

I shuddered, "Sadly, my posse,"

"Dude, that one blonde has some pretty friggin' sweet hair," Riku laughed.

"Meh," I rolled my eyes.

"And that Redhead? Oh my Jeezus," Sora looked at me, "He is so... HOT!!"

That comment alone caused my entire face to flush and burn a crimson red. Riku, sadly, noticed my reaction and punched my arm, "I take it that that is Ax-Something?"

My weak voice managed to choke out, "It's Axel. And no, not like the wheel and axle. He's A-X-E-L,"

"Ahhh," Sora grinned, "My gay-dar is going off. Do I sense a man crush?"

Apparently, I was able to blush harder. So I did. Axel and Company approached us. "Hey Foxy-Roxy," Axel gave me a sideways hug, "Ya miss me?"

"Oodles," I looked down at my shoes, then over to Sora who was smiling with triumph. Despite my mortification, I was able to withstand my jackass/sarcastic/clever wit.

After an awkward silence, I realized I forgot the introductions, "By the way: Axel, Demyx, Zexion, this is Sora and Riku, my best friends from back home,"

"Nice to meet you!!" Demyx smiled and Sora smiled back. Made sense: two bubbly people were bound to be instant friends, "Anyone want a churro?"

"Yes," I said a little too quickly. Everyone else agreed with me, chipping in dollar bills and quarters.

"I'll come with," Sora smiled and he and Demyx wandered off into the crowd of people.

A breeze rustled by, making the overpowering fragrance of cotton candy and popcorn hit me hard. Screams came from the rickety roller coaster, and annoying Carnies were trying to sucker out people with their impossible ring toss games.

Axel lit a cigarette and took a drag, then offered it to me. Despite my better judgment, I took it and enjoyed the nicotine that gave my body a numbing happiness. Riku and Zexion were standing by each other, sharing an iPod. That made sense too: Riku and Zexion were both calm, cool, and collected. They were bound to click.

"So," Axel took another drag of the cigarette and handed it back to me, "I say we get on the Tilt-A-Hurl when Demy and... What's his name? Sora?" I nodded, "Yeah, I say we get on the Tilt-A-Hurl when they get back,"

"Don't you mean Tilt-A-_Whirl_?"

He grinned manically, "...Right..."

**Sora's POV**

"That'll be $6," The lady at the food booth said. Demyx handed her the money and I took the six churros.

Demyx took three and asked, "So you really think the plan will work?"

I laughed, "Of course. I've known Roxas and Riku since we were 3,"

"And I've known Axel and Zexion since we were 3,"

"Then we have no problem," I smiled and took a ravenous bite out of the pastry.

"When will we do it?" Demyx laughed and munched on his churro.

I thought about that,"When does it get dark?"

"About 9 or 10,"

"We'll do it when it's dark," We saw the other 4 in the distance, so we stopped walking, "Y'know, all the lights and the darkness,"

"Ahh!! Now I get it," Demyx giggled.

"Good," We grinned and joined the rest of them.

**Roxas's POV**

We stood in line, waiting for our turn on the Tilt-A-Hurl, as Axel called it. "You two," The ride operator pulled aside me and Sora, "You two may be too short for this ride,"

I hated being called short, so I almost yelled, "Listen up, Bub: I don't care if I'm a fucking midget. I am going on that damn ride. And don't call me short unless you want me to rip out your baby-making organs,"

Sora smiled approvingly, "Jeez, Rox. Calm down,"

The ride operator glared at me, "Sorry, but shut the hell up. Step out of line, Short Ass,"

Axel saw me snap, so he pulled me back and hissed at the guy, "Yo Seifer, we don't want another _problem, _now do we? I'm pretty sure Reno will be stuck hosing you off the walls, and we all know how much he didn't like it the first time,"

Seifer took a gulp then a deep breath, "Enjoy the ride," After Axel was out of earshot he muttered, "Fucking Homo,"

Axel laughed and turned around, "Don't even go there. I will kill you with my bare hands if I have to,"

Demyx joined in and added, "So shut up. We don't want another freshman year occurrence. I hate seeing you when you cry,"

Seifer once again gulped and breathed, letting me and Sora through. "What was all that about?" I asked.

"Nothing," Axel mumbled, "Just some homophobe that we assaulted in the 9th Grade,"

"Right," I rolled my eyes and we climbed into a car or carrier or whatever you wanted to call it. I was shoved in between Axel and Sora, so I closed my eyes as I felt the ride start. My eyes peeled open, to see amused faces. Through all the blur, I could see Sora being raped by Riku's tongue, Zexion clutch onto Demyx, and Axel just smiling and laughing. A whirlwind of colors and sounds petrified my senses, and once I started to laugh out loud, the ride slowly came to a stop.

We tumbled out slowly and drunk, dizzy and woozy. "Where to next?" Axel asked.

**Demyx's POV**

Once Axel asked us where to go next, I shot Sora a signaling look. Was it time for the plan? Sora smiled and we managed to sneak away from the group. "Now?" I asked.

"Now," He confirmed. I nodded and we rejoined the others, contemplating an excuse. Axel was set on the swings, while Zexion and Riku wanted to wander around, not really doing anything.

"How about," I spoke up, "The Ferris Wheel?"

"Not damn likely," Axel snapped as soon as I said it.

Just as the plan was supposed to go, Sora tugged Riku's arm, "C'mon Riku!! We have to!!"

Riku kissed Sora's forehead and walked hand-in-hand to the line. Zexion grabbed my sleeve and rested his head on my shoulder. I don't know how he did, considering the fact I was much taller than him. "I wanna ride with you,"

"Looks like you're out voted," I winked at Axel and joined Riku and Sora. After a while, Axel joined us and pouted.

"Cheer up, Sweet Thang," Zexion laughed and I nuzzled the top of his head. He was sooo cute!! And smart!! And funny!! And selfless!! And calm!! And understanding!! And caring!! But I could write a book on the amazing things about Zexion. Wait, make that 7 books.

The ride operator loaded on Sora and Riku, then sent them up. Sora gave me one last look before easing into Riku's arms. "Okay," Axel panicked, "You first,"

"Nah," I raised an eyebrow, "I'd rather go last with Zexion,"

"Bitch," Axel muttered before he climbed into the seat.

"Go on in," I pushed Roxas up the stairs and on to the seat. He gave me a pleading look but I smirked and sent them on their way.

After they were relatively gone, I looked at the operator and handed him $50. "Keep them up there a while,"

**A/N: Cue the dramatic music!! Sorry that I've been absent for a while, I just procrastinate.... Sorry. Now that it is Winter Break, I shall write until I throw up!! So anyway, tell me what you think!! **

**Now you all see why Demyx is my faverytee!? He is such an AkuRoku fangirl!! ((:**

**I love Demyx!! So, review. I shall get to work on the AkuRoku Chapter 7!! Wait, why do they call it AkuRoku? I mean, AxRox or RoxAx sounds cooler and that makes more sense. There aren't even any "U's" in Axel or Roxas. **

**And I've been meaning to shove in more characters and bring back the deliciousness of Reno and Rikku... ((:**

**So tell me what you think!!**

**Later Taters!!**

**~~~SAMwich!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: My writer's block is going away, so I am happy to get back to writing so much!! This is going to be a tres, tres fun Chapter to write!! Y'wanna know why? Huh? Do ya? I'll tell you why.... At the end of this chapter!! Hahaha ((:**

**And it's footnote time!! Any number, like this: [1] [2] [3]..., bold and by a sentence is a footnote. Got it?**

**P.S. And thanks for telling me the AkuRoku thing!! I'm such a noob~~~ :33**

**Disclaimer: Mehhh.**

I slouched deep in the Ferris Wheel seat. Damn Demyx. Why was I stuck with Axel? It's not like I didn't like Axel, but I felt like I was gonna get molested one way or another, 30 or 40 feet in the air. But to my surprise, Axel was silent. I immediately noticed he was extremely pale and had a very strained facial expression. "What's up, Axel?"

"Nngh..." Axel whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut, "Don't... Heights... Killed..."

"What?" I stared hard at his uncomfortable face, "What's up?"

"Malfunction... Fall..." He choked out between gulps and gasps, "Scared... Killed... Heights..."

"You're afraid of heights?" I clarified. He nodded and sat up straight in his seat. "Hah, just calm down, Ax,"

"How... Know... That..." He shuddered.

"Okay, talk in full sentences before I push you out,"

That got his attention, "How the fuck do you know that we won't fall?"

"I dunno..." I looked out over the scenery. It was amazing how beautiful the big picture was when you could see it. The Ferris Wheel started up again and took our bench to the very tip-top. Which made Axel shit his pants.

"Why the hell do people find this fun!?" He choked, squeezing the safety bar.

"I find it fun because I get to see the 'ever-so-smooth, sexy, charming' Axel fearing for his life,"

"You called me sexy," Axel smiled through his pained face.

"Notice the air quotes?"

"Roxy, I hope you aren't too stupid to not realize my fucking eyes are closed,"

"Then open them," I whispered in his ear. Axel's neck grew goosebumps and I realized how much I missed seeing his bright green eyes. I managed to wait out the long silence before Axel blinked his eyes open.

"See? It's not that bad," I smiled.

"Why the hell are we still up on the very top!?"

"Relax, Dick Face," I nudged him.

"Don't move so much!!" He squealed when the bench shook and squeaked. I smirked and then smiled. I was going to milk this for what it was worth: I leaned forward, peering over the front, trying to see down below. That caused our bench to almost face parallel to the solid earth, miles away.

"ROXAS!!" He yelled, scared out of his head. But as soon as he said my name, something amazing happened. All the carnival lights flickered on, illuminating the entire field. Axel opened his eyes and took in a sharp breath.

"Wow..." He smiled gently. I liked this Axel. The soft Axel that I knew wouldn't ever touch me or hurt me. The Axel I could love and trust. The Axel I was vowed to share the rest of my life with through a rainbow tattoo. But why me? Why would someone so beautiful, so kind, so funny, so edgy, so sweet, want the bratty new kid that doesn't like people, touching, or moving fast? The plain new kid with way too many issues to even care about? The new kid that was never worthy?

"Roxy," Axel breathed.

"Hmm...?" I never looked away from the collage of twinkling lights and starry skies.

"What's that on your arm?"

I was shot down to reality, "WHAT!?"

"That," He pointed to my forearm, "What are those? Cuts...? Oh my God..." His beautiful green eyes widened in horror.

My voice cracked, due to the panic, "What!? What are you talking about...!?"

"You tell me," His voice was assuring, but firm.

"I- I- I just..." My voice trailed off and tears pricked my eyes.

"Roxas," His voice softened, "Are you... crying...?"

"No..." My voice sobbed. My cover, my outlet, all those years of controlled pain: Gone. Over. Dunzo.

"Roxas," He pulled me close to him, but I pulled away.

"Leave me alone!!" I yelled. If my biggest secret were to be revealed, why did it have to be 40 feet in the air with no escape!?

"Please," He begged, "Just talk to me..."

"Why the fuck do you care!?" I hollered.

I heard a voice from a megaphone. The ride operator spoke, "Sorry folks!! The Ferris Wheel is jammed, so you will be stuck there for a while. No more than an hour or two!! No danger, just time,"

"Fuck," Axel and I grunted in unison.

"Anyway," Axel catiously scooted closer to me, "I won't tell a soul, if that's what you want,"

That statement took me aback. I always figured that whoever would find out would tell my dad who would shove me into the Whacky Shack, "Really...?"

"Promise," He smiled, "But can you..."

"Explain?" I finished.

"If you want..." Axel looked away.

"It's okay," I slumped against him, "I just... It's complicated..."

"Then tell me when you're ready," Axel smiled and I blushed. Why did I melt whenever he gave me _that _smile!? He would half-smile, no teeth, eyes wide and curious, glowing with their own life and light, and his flawlessly contrasting red hair, framing his milky face. But what really got me were those lips. You'd figure it'd be the eyes, and I'll admit, that was a VERY large factor. But those lips. Soft, ready to say something either funny or comforting. Something that would get anyone and everyone to stop and listen, no matter what it was. And I could feel something: he would use his lips for me, as stupid as that sounds. He would defend me, praise me, mock me, teach me... kiss me?

My heart sank when I zonked back into conciseness. "Axel...?"

"Yo," He still sounded really scared and uncomfortable, but I knew he was hiding it to make me feel better.

"Thanks,"

"For?"

"Thanks for being there. If only you knew the shit... Nevermind about that. Anyway, thanks for caring. That's all I need,"

He looked at me for a second before he smiled and nodded, "Anytime... Foxy-Roxy!!"

"Shut up, Dick Head," We laughed and then settled into a nice silence.

After a few minutes, Axel spoke up, "Roxy..."

"Hmmm...?"

"I hope you're okay," He whispered and I leaned against his chest, which was hard to accomplish, considering the fact that we were in a tiny chair, high up in the air.

"As long as I have people like you and Sora. And Demyx and Zexion. And I suppose, Riku too," I laughed, "I'll be good,"

"Like I said," He locked eyes with me, "Talk whenever YOU are ready. I can be pretty patient,"

"Thanks," And all of a sudden, the entire Ferris Wheel shook, causing us to rock back and forth.

"Oh, Goddamn!!" Axel squealed, "Get me off this fucking thing!!"

Enough was enough. "Shut up. Why do you always manage to ruin a moment?" I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine. Apparently, he knew what to do because he took over. I dropped my hands down to his chest while he took hold of my face and neck. He gently sucked my lip, which lead to me moaning into his mouth. We sat there, kissing each other softly. Not trying to turn each other on, but to let each other know that we wanted each other for a long time. Not just for the span of one orgasm.

I pulled away, "Thanks, Axel,"

"You're welcome," And he closed the mere half-inch gap and grazed his tongue against mine, leading us into a much... deeper kiss. The Ferris Wheel shook again, but Axel didn't seem to notice at all. He was busy with something else...

* * *

We were all on solid ground, after an hour of making out with Axel. And to be honest, I kinda missed it. "C'mon," Demyx asked Axel, "Can I crash at your house tonight?"

"Dude, Reno hates you,"

"He does not!!" Demyx looked brokenhearted, "He LOVES me!!"

"So? You still annoy the shit out of him,"

"As I do everybody,"

"Fine," Axel surrendered, "I guess you can,"

"Well, I better get home. I have to do a few things. See you tomorrow," Zexion departed.

"Don't forget: The Parlour!!" Axel reminded. Zexion nodded and left.

"Well, I'd better take Riku and Sora home before they fuck each other right here, right now," I said.

"Oh shut up, Roxy," Sora smiled, "You know you can always join us," I rolled my eyes and left through the gates with Riku and Sora.

"Wait!!" Axel ran up to me, "я тебя люблю,"

I punched him in the stomach, then gave him a quick, tender kiss on the lips, "What does that mean!?"

**Axel's POV**

Demyx settled into my living room couch and I started the movie. "So," He smiled, "I saw that kiss Roxas gave you,"

I gulped and blushed. I've been blushing a lot since Roxy showed up, "So?"

"You so KNOW you love him!!"

"He doesn't have time for love," I said, looking down.

"And how do you know that?"

"No reason..." I thought back to his cuts. Why did he have to hurt himself? I hated imagining how weak and helpless he felt when he... cut...

"Axel," Demyx scooted close to me, "I've been your best friend since forever. Tell me what's wrong,"

"It's not my problem to tell," I swore to Roxas that I would not tell a soul. And I won't.

"Fine, I can respect that," Demyx concluded and got up, "I need a beer. You want anything?"

"Nah," What was up with Roxas? I _had _to know. I wanted to protect him. I wanted to keep him safe. I wanted to let him know that he had someone in the world to help. I wanted to love him... Wait... I needed to love him... But what could I do to let him know?

**Roxas's POV**

My head was spinning. Why do I trust Axel so much? Why was he different from the rest of them? He obviously didn't want me for just sex, nor drug connections, and definitely not to get to Sora or Riku. "Sora...?"

"Yo," He looked up from his bowl of cereal, "What's up?"

"About Riku..."

"He's in the shower, Smart One,"

"Not what I meant," I took in a breath, "How do you know you love him?"

Sora looked at me carefully, "Why do you feel you need to ask that?"

My rage released and I almost screamed, "Because I need to fucking know!!"

"Alright, chill..." Sora put his bowl of cereal on my dresser, "I love him for different reasons. The most important: I can't live without him,"

"Why?" I was truly clueless. Sure, you could live without someone.

"He makes me happy. He wants to make me happy. And I need to make him happy. And no, I just don't mean sex. But that's a good reason, too. I want to make him laugh when he's down, I want to make him relax when he's pissed, and I want him to the same to me, and he does," He noticed my confused face, "Or, to make it simple for your peanut brain, we want to protect each other from the world. Let's face it: It's nasty and ugly and cruel and evil, but I know I can handle it, since he will always pick me up when I fall,"

Riku walked in the room, dripping wet and nothing but a towel around his waist. I must say, his abs were impressive. "And it doesnt hurt that he's completely gorgeous!!" Sora squealed and tackled his boyfriend, kissing him.

My heart sank. Why did I suddenly need something like that? I felt a painful gap in my heart that needed to be filled. Oddly enough, I didn't feel this way with Axel around. Damn hormones.

"я тебя люблю," Riku laughed and kissed Sora.

"Wait!!" I jumped up and pulled Riku away, "That!! What you just said!!"

"What? я тебя люблю?"

"Yes!! That!!"

"You're an idiot. It translates to 'I love you' in Russian," Riku rejoined Sora on the floor, forgetting to put damn pants on. Oh fuck that, neither one of them will need pants for the next 20 minutes.

I love you? That's what he kept telling me? Why did he love me? He barely knew me... My head went blank and I stumbled on my bed, then when I regained control, I sprinted for the door, "I'll be back later,"

**Axel's POV**

I don't know why, I just needed time to think. Demyx was already buzzed and snoozing on the couch, and Reno was God Knows Where. It was raining hard outside, and all I had were my yellow/black plaid PJ bottoms, a black hoodie, and black Converse. Not entirely the proper attire for rain and wind. I took in a deep breath and headed down the road, not entirely sure about my destination.

Darkness impaired me, so I couldn't see all that clearly. According to my phone, it was almost 2 AM: Not the most recommended time for a walk, especially during rain. I reached the school, but no one was home, obviously. I passed by a bunch of closed stores and shops, a church, and through a small neighborhood. My breathing grew heavier and I jogged down the road, splashing in puddles.

Then I saw a blonde figure.

My legs carried me to the body that was lying on a hill, with no signs of life. But that blonde hair told me who it was. Roxas. My Roxas. Adrenaline pulsated through my veins and I sprinted to him. It was horrifying: Roxas's hypnotic blue eyes were half closed and dead, his pale skin reached a scary shade of white, luckily, he was breathing, but very shallow and quick, and the worst part, a long, deep, fresh cut up the length of his arm, bleeding like crazy.

"Fuck!!" I peeled off my sweater, only to remember I had nothing on underneath. Screw me being cold, Roxas was holding onto the last legs of life. My sweater was tied around the cut, applying pressure and soaking up the blood. How long was he like this? Where do I take him? My house? The hospital? I swore I wouldn't tell anyone about this... But he needed me...

With a grunt, I carried him bridal style down to the road, and followed my route back to my house. The rain hit my numb skin like bullets, causing me to whine and wince. Then, I felt it: Tears streamed down my cheeks. _Roxas... Please... Be okay..._

Right when I saw my house, I slowed down a little, trying to catch my breath. "A-Ax..." Roxas barely choked out, "A-Ax... Axel..." Although he was talking, he was still unconscious and dying. But why did he say my name?

My front door was kicked open, which caused Demyx to sit up immediately. "Axel!!"

"Get the fucking first-aid kit!!" I yelled, and Demyx took off fast.

I put Roxas on my bed and I watched his face. So innocent, not ready to die. Why would he hurt himself? I needed him... I needed to help him... Tears escaped and Demyx bursted through my door, "Here!! Shouldn't we call 911 or something?!"

I took the kit and removed my sweater. I almost puked at the blood, "No!! But call Zexion!!"

"Why?" Demyx pulled out his phone.

"He's smart!! He'll know what to do!! And isn't his dad a big doctor prick!?"

"Yeah... But what can- Oh hey Zexion!! Can you come over to Axel's place!? It's an emergency!! Roxas is... Okay!! 10 minutes!? Thanks!!" He hung up, "He's on his way,"

My fingers wiped up all the blood with antibacterial soap and toilet paper, then carefully put Neosporin on the cut [which was the hardest thing to do], and wrapped it in clean gauze. I checked his pulse and he seemed fine.

"He looks okay," I wiped away my tears.

"You shouldn't judge anyone by appearance," Demyx reminded me. **[1]**

"Right," I handed Demyx a pair of my boxers and one of my shirts, "Get him in these. I need to change," He took the clothes and I changed in the bathroom. When I got back, Roxas was dressed in fresh clothes and Demyx was watching Roxas.

"He's lucky to have you," Demyx simply said.

"More like, I'm lucky to have him,"

The doorbell rang and Demyx sprinted for the door. I sat by Roxas and stroked his cheek. Then I leaned down and placed a soft, innocent, gentle kiss on his nose. Why was I doing this? Why did I need to protect him? I needed to find out what happened to him that makes him like this...

"Axel, move!!" Zexion got straight to work: Re-cleaning the cut, wrapping it up properly, doing a bunch of nurse-type things to Roxas. After 20 minutes of inspection Zexion concluded, "He'll be fine. A little weak and fuzzy, but he'll be okay in the long run,"

My heart jumped and I felt a wave of relief overtake my entire body. Thank God. "I'm tired. It's like 3 in the morning," Demyx complained and he left the room.

"You can stay here for the rest of tonight..." I offered Zexion.

"Sure, thanks. Me and Demyx will be in the living room,"

"Don't be silly, wrap your willy," I laughed and Zexion gave me the birdie.

My eyes drooped and I looked at Roxas. He'll keep until the morning. Since he was in my bed, I crashed on the floor.

**A/N: Aww... Roxas dying and Axel come to his rescue!? SO sweet!! And not to mention the kiss!!**

**Footnote time!!**

**[1]~ Anyone recognize that line? Haha!!**

**I need to do laundry, so I must say ta~ta for now... ((:**

**Later Taters,**

**~~~SAMwich :33**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Heyyya ((:**

**I hope everyone had a loverly Christmas. I did [Ahem, EVERY KH and FF game is what I found under mah tree!!] and I hope Sandy Claws brought you everything you wanted!! Hee hee... So ya. Here's my gift to you: Another Chapter [Maybe two.]!! Yeahhhh Boiii!!~~~**

**By the way, the POV will be Roxas unless I say otherwise. Okay? Okay. :33**

**Disclaimer: Such and such... Blah...**

Lights. That's all I saw. So this is what it was like to be dead: being the proud owner of a massive headache, antagonizing bright lights, and the low murmur of voices. Wait... Did I just say dead? Was I dead? Then I heard an angel's voice call for me, "Roxas," It was the most gentle, safe, beautiful sing-song voice I've ever heard.

"Hmm?" I could feel that I was laying down, so I tossed and turned in my position, "Who...?"

"Roxas!!" The amazing voice sounded more alert and frantic, "Roxas!?"

Once I found the energy and courage to open my eyes, I cautiously opened my lids, finding myself in a room I've never been before. My legs felt bare and I realized I was in an entirely new set of clothes that weren't mine. Where was I?! "Roxas!!" The angel's voice almost celebrated.

"What?" Then I saw the red hair, followed by the green eyes and teardrop tattoos. My heart sped up, "Axel!! Where the fuck am I!!"

"My room," He softly spoke. And with more observation, I noticed I was in a small room with the generic wood furniture, tons of laundry and trash scattered amongst, and so many random posters and pictures on every square inch of the black walls.

"How the hell did I get here!? And why am I in different clothes!?" My voice cracked. Did he... Touch me at all...? Oh no. Tears overflowed my eyes and I curled in a ball. Not him too... I can't trust anyone...

"Roxas," I felt Axel's hand on my... waist...

"AHHH!!" I screamed, kicking Axel and writhing away from his touch. "Get your fucking hands off of me!!"

In Axel's bed, I was shivering and panicking, "Roxas," He whispered, brokenhearted, "I don't want to hurt you,"

Those words alone managed to make me calm down. Slightly. I whimpered, "Explain,"

I sat up and he joined me on his bed, but still at a respectable distance, "Jeez, well... it all started at 2 in the morning for me. I had a lot on my mind, so I went out for a walk," I nodded for him to continue, "And it was raining hard, plus it was friggin' cold. After walking around, I ended up at that hill by that one neighborhood, Willhaven. And that's when..." He trailed off.

"And that's when what?" I pried.

He breathed and looked me straight in the eye, "That's when I saw your almost-dead body. Lying there. Broken and desperate for help,"

My face tensed, "And then...?"

"I carried you back here, treated your... err... cut... and Demyx changed you in fresh clothes, since I didn't want you sick and in frozen, wet clothes. Then Zexion came and treated you properly,"

"So Demyx and Zexion know!?" I hissed.

"I figured it was better than getting doctors and nurses. Then they'd tell your dad and I know you didn't want that," He explained patiently.

"Makes sense..." It was all coming back to me: The 'I love you', the desperate need for relief, the urge to not live anymore and deal with this. More tears streamed down my face and Axel approached my carefully. He eased me into his arms and wiped away each run-away tear that rolled down my pale cheek.

"Do you want to talk?" He whispered smoothly.

"..." I mumbled, not ready for the show 'n' tell quite yet.

"Talk whenever you're ready," He hugged me tighter, but his hand brushed my hips, which lead to my body tensing and my pulse speeding up.

He noticed and jumped away, "I am so sorry, Roxas!! I won't touch you like that again!!"

I smiled at his sincere concern, "Thanks... It's okay, really, just a little..."

"I'm sorry," He sighed, but I eased my way back in his arms.

After a few minutes of contempt silence, I asked, "What time is it?"

"About 4 or 5 in the morning. You were knocked out for about 2 hours,"

"'Kay, thanks," My eyes drooped and I breathed in Axel: cinnamon and fabric softener.

Right before I was entering Dreamland, I choked out, "You want to know my problem? My problem was... Well... two things..."

"I'm listening," Axel smiled.

I sat up and intook my last breath. My biggest secret. Ever. Was being revealed to the first person. Err... second... "You know how I said my mom died? When we were at the Parlour the other day?" He nodded and brushed some hair out of my eyes, "Well... she IS dead, but not for natural reasons. She shot herself. And I saw her die. I saw her body bleed out, and heard her gasp for breath, then I felt that she was gone," Tears ran down my face again. Axel wiped them away softly and took me in a hug.

"I am so sorry," Axel murmured, "Do you want to continue...?"

I shrugged, "But that's only half of my first problem. You see, my mom was a serious druggie. A crackwhore. And she was lazy, too. She sent me to get her drugs... Ever since I was 10 or 11," Axel breathed and hugged me tighter, "But the dumb bitch never gave me money. She expected me to take care of it... So I went to the alleys where her suppliers were, and... they said if I didn't have money... They would take me instead..."

Axel raised his eyebrows, "What did they mean by... Oh. My. Jesus. Christ... Did they...?" Axel himself let a tear escape and he covered his mouth.

"Rape me?" I felt my heart speed up, "Yep. Sure, they would lube up and shit, but they were never gentle. And I would be stuck fucking 3 or 4, maybe 5 in a row. And they would beat me if... I didn't... release with them..." I tried to put that as gently as possible.

Axel, however, looked horrified. And pissed. "Roxas..."

"And then my mom would complain how I didn't get enough for her, so I was stuck going back for more. And more. And more. To the point where I hated myself for being such a filthy skank. A slut. Simply property in an illegal favor chain."

"Roxas," Axel spoke firmly, "You are so much more than that. Listen to me: None of what was going on was your fault. Not at all."

"I should've walked away or said no or something," I cried.

"Shh... it's okay... But you were really young. And innocent."

"But the real problem was... Her..." My vision went black, then I saw her face. The face of Satan. The face that caused almost all my problems and worst fears.

"Her?" Axel asked.

I nodded. "My ex-girlfriend. She was the first girl I thought I really, truly loved. Unlike other boyfriends and girlfriends, she wanted a relationship, not just sex or pot or something stupid," My face tightened, "So, after the first year that we dated, I 'fell in love' with her. So I just told her EVERYTHING. From my mom, to the rape, to my... cuts..." I paused and looked at my hands.

"What happened?" Axel asked after a long silence.

My voice choked out a very artificial, shallow laugh, "She used it against me. She threatened to rat me and my cuts out if I didn't do what she said,"

"Like what?"

"Small things like buying her shit to bigger things like sex and sneaking her various drugs and booze. But mostly sex. The hardest part was that whenever I never-" I shuddered, "-Pleased her right... She'd call me so many... Things... Like 'slut' or 'skank' or 'as worthless and stupid as my dyke of a mother.' And I know that seems stupid, but after years of believing I was each one of those things... It hurt so much more..." My sobs overwhelmed my voice and Axel still had tears streaming down his own face.

"Why the fuck are you crying? This is MY problem to live with. To run away from," I stumbled.

"No one, and I mean NO ONE, deserves any of that bull shit. Evil, cruel sadists are the only ones who do that shit. Roxas," He leveled my eyes with his, "You are NONE of that. And I'm here to prove to you that someone in the world cares,"

"Who?" I sniffled, almost bewildered. Some guy that went to my school that I knew for only a couple weeks knew someone who cared about me? Even when I spent my entire life hating myself, alone and cold?

"Me," He answered in a very flat, yet convincing tone.

My heart stopped and I squirmed away, "Lies!!"

"Roxas," he tried to reach for me again, but I swatted him away.

Goddamn. How many tears can one set of eyeballs produce? I was practically swimming in pool of salty, depressed tears. God, I felt like that Alice in Something-Land chick. **[1]**

"Roxas," Axel murmured again when I failed to respond, "I'm not fucking joking. I care about you. A lot,"

My heart lurched and then cracked, "Why...?"

"I dunno," Axel spoke honestly, "I've been asking myself that same question. But something about you. Something. Makes me feel strong, and I want to... is harness the right word...? Harness that strength to protect you. I just DETEST imagining how you feel: Alone, scared, hopeless..."

My tears rolled down harder when I heard that. Why him? I've never heard something as utterly beautiful and pure in my life. Not from my own dad. [He's a whole other story.] Not from Sora or Riku. Not from her. Especially not her. "Axel,"

"Yes?" He wiped a tear off my icy cheek.

"Hold me," I held my arms open and he took me in his grasp, steering clear of my waist. I rested on his body, my fingers twiddling with his shirt. We were lying on his bed, and my eyes were drifting away while he was drawing small circles and lines in between my shoulder blades. My head rose and lowered with every small sigh Axel breathed. I liked this: My heart was warm, the tears stopped, and a shy smile played on my lips.

I looked up as Axel, who's eyes were closed. I reached up and hovered over him. Then, slowly, I pressed my lips to his and left them there. He realized my kiss and kissed back: No tongue, but with the same passion. And I counted; we kissed for 18 seconds straight. My head was lowered down back to his chest. Funny, his chest seemed to be framed to easily and comfortably fit my head. His fingers continued to dance on my back and run through my hair. My voice groggy, I whispered, "Naminé,"

Axel stopped, "Hmm..? Who's Naminé?"

"My worst nightmare. My ex-girlfriend." **[2]**

Before Axel could comment, I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

* * *

After being checked up by Zexion one last time, I said goodbye and was walked home by Axel. "Thanks," I smiled.

"For?" He took a drag of his cigarette then offered it to me.

I accepted it and placed it between my lips, "Just being there for me. Not even my dad would care as much as you just did,"

He snorted, "Probably not true. Your dad probably loves you regardless,"

"You haven't met him," I grumbled. Sure, I liked my dad, but I wouldn't trust ANYTHING with him. Not my hamster when I was little, not my sea-sealt ice cream I asked him to hold when my shoe was untied, not even my life. I mean, I could hardly trust _myself _ with my life. And my dad was a walking corruption.

Axel chuckled to himself and took the cigarette, "Isn't your dad a homophobe?" I nodded, "Well... Then I'll be screwed,"

"Not really, I mean, I'm gay- Er... bi too," Despite Axel and my intimate relationship, I was still confused if we were together or whatever.

We made it to my porch with no meltdowns. Luckily, my dad's car was gone, "Foxy-Roxy," Axel grinned.

I rolled my eyes, "Yes? Douche-Head?"

"I... I just wanted to say that I like you. A lot," He looked down and scuffled his feet.

"What?" My voice was small.

"I- I said that... I like you... A lot..." I wrapped my arms around his tall frame and hugged him tight.

"I like you a lot, too," A lone tear escaped and my voice trembled.

Axel's smile radiated through my body, even though I never _saw _ him smile. I felt it, instead. "So Roxy, does this mean we're... Together?"

I smiled sheepishly at the question, "I dunno. Do you wanna board this crazy train? And live to tell about it?"

Axel laughed and unbuttoned his jeans, then slowly lowered them _thismuch_, revealing a familiar work of art. A rainbow heart. "I already have my ticket," I smiled and stood on my tippy toes to kiss him wholeheartedly.

**A/N: Ick. My tooth hurts from so much fluffy, sweet goodness. That, or Christmas Stocking Candy. I kinda liked this Chapter. A lot of emotion and explanation. But... Hmm... I don't think it's as moving and powerful as I wanted it to be. So whuddya think?**

**Footnote Time!! ((:**

**[1]~ What a noob, Roxas is. He doesn't know about Alice in Wonderland. **

**[2]~ Sorry for making Naminé the bad guy. Don't kill me. But I really do not like her. See, there are two sides of Naminé: 1) The cool, indie artist that draws explicit yaoi pictures. And 2) The hoe~bag that keeps trying to shatter the yaoi foundation we fangirls [and fanboys. Yummy!!] took so long building. So yeah. In KH2 and KH:CoM, I was not her biggest fan. But in a few fanfics I've seen, she was pretty sweet by shoving Axel and Roxas together. ^_^ Actually, the same goes for Kairi. Sometimes I like her, sometimes I don't. But I hate Xion. Always.**

**But that's enough of me being a PMS bitch. Feel free to agree/disagree. I'm open to all biases and opinions. Feel free to share. Just play nice. Haha!!**

**And one last thing before I wrap up this freakishly long A/N!! I wanna make a New Years short fic. So any ideas and suggestions will be welcome!! :DD**

**Later Taters,**

**~~~~ Sam**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hooliganism!!**

**Aww.. Axel and Roxas are finally together!! So do you want more AkuRoku? Hah! Too bad. I wanted this chapter to focus on Roxas's dad and what the beef is with him. He's made an appearance in what... chapter 4? All you know about Roxas's dad is that he's a homophobe. Oooo... this will be oodles and noodles of funnn!!**

**Disclaimer: "Pish posh. Sling that slang. I'm right back 'atcha just like... mah boomerangg!!" ~Sokka, Avatar: The Last Airbender.**

"I dunno," I shifted my cell phone to my other ear, "I'm not sure I can sneak out tonight,"

"_C'mon Roxy," _Axel whined, _"It's just gonna be you, me, Demyx, and Zexion playing Rock Band. And it's Friday. It's not like a school night. Why can't you come?"_

I sighed and flopped on my bed, "It's just... Hmm..."

"_Roxy, Babe, You can tell me,"_

"Not if you call me 'Babe.'"

"_Alright. I'm sorry... What's up?"_

I hated when Axel did this: Get all comforting and understanding. It made him all the more perfect. He's been there for me so much for the entire 3 weeks we've been together, and he hasn't pressured me into a single thing, he hasn't asked for anything, and sometimes I feel like I'm using him. "It's that... I'm pretty sure that... My dad is coming on to us..."

"_What? Why does that have to do with anything? I mean, it looks like we're two friends that hang out with each other. Shouldn't he be happy that his kid is making friends in a new town?"_

"You're right..." I sighed. I felt stupid for saying something so stupid, "... Alright. I'll be there. What time?"

"_Twenty minutes and thanks!! I just want to see your cute face so badly. I haven't seen it in... 14 hours," _He explained. But when he called me cute, my entire body melted from the unbearable warm and fuzzy feeling my heart gave off.

"Oh, shut up. I'm not _that _cute. But I miss seeing you say your douche bag comments," I laughed. Despite all my problems, we managed to keep the tension and stress low by being complete a-holes to each other. Weird, I know.

"_Excuse moi," _Axel smiled through the phone, _"I'm not nearly as bad as my little Foxy-Roxy,"_

My heart sank. Was I really that bitchy? Huff... Whatever... "Thanks, Ass. So I'ma about to sneak out so I'll call you in a little bit,"

"_'Mkay, I'll see you in a little bit. Ciao Bella,"_ I hung up and slipped on my Converse. Then I carefully needed to slide by a sneaking dad's bedroom at 1 in the morning. I managed to tiptoe past his room and head out the door. God, why do I hate my dad so much? Well... Hate is such a harsh word. But was it an accurate word? Guhh... Why do I have to get all emotionally unstable right before I see Axel?

The air was cold and I tightened my sweater around me, steadily breathing, the air showing the frost that escapes my lips. Axel didn't live too far, just down the road and past the school. He and Reno didn't live large, just a humble town house with two bedrooms. Anyway, my head wandered and somehow, the cigarette I inhaled made my head dizzy. I coughed hard and fell to my knees, accidentally scraping my chin. The warm blood trinkled down my neck and I shivered, then tried to push myself up, but my arms shook and collapsed under me, scraping my cheek. It stung and my eyes watered. Why couldn't I get up? I tried again, and I flopped on my back. My breathing grew shallow and airy, and the cold concrete sidewalk sent shivers up my spine.

What the hell was wrong with me? I fumbled for the phone in my pocket and clicked on a new message screen. My thumbs quickly typed and I hit send on the ever so familiar name: Axel. _'Please help me' Message Has Been Sent To Axel. _My phone returned to the wallpaper of Axel kissing my nose, then I snapped my phone shut and dropped it out of my hand. A wave of blackness engulfed all my senses and I choked on the darkness.

* * *

"Wake up, Roxas!!" An eerily familiar voice spat. I woke up and saw that I was in a classroom, a familiar classroom.

"Dude!! Don't get in trouble on the last day of school!!" Another creepily familiar voice nudged me. I saw that it was Riku, an 11-year-old Riku. On the other side of me, I saw an 11-year-old Sora. I felt that I didn't have an always-present sweater to conceal my cuts. I didn't even feel the tender flesh of where my cuts were.

"Wha- Where am I?" I blinked my eyes. Wasn't I just lying on chilly concrete with no strength to get up?

"You moron," Riku punched me again, "We're in Mr. Vexen's 5th Grade class. It's the last day of school. Doi..." **[1]**

Wait... this day was... I couldn't put my finger on it, but... I recognize this day... From somewhere, "Hah.. Yeah,"

"So you guys coming to my house tonight?" Sora asked, "My mom and dad are going to some dinner or party or whatever tonight, so It'll be the three of us together alone,"

I snorted, "Pfft. The three of us? I'd figure you'd bang each other all night,"

"What!?" Sora exclaimed. That's right. He exclaimed. He's so fruity, "What does 'bang' mean!?"

"Isn't that when two people... Y'know... Do it?" Riku asked.

Oh yeah. That's right. Sora and Riku still had their undeveloped, non-perverted 11-year-old minds. Plus, they weren't gay for each other until they hit 13 or 14. So that means... I had 17-year-old Roxas's brain in 11-year-old Roxas's body. This would be fun. "Oh, uh, just forget it... I guess..."

"EW!!" Sora squeaked, "Me and Riku? Doing it? Together? We're two boys!!"

I shrugged, "So? I mean, why does it matter who you're with? As long as you find someone you truly care about and love, and it doesn't hurt or bother anyone else, why does it matter?"

"Since when have you been so... Gay?" Riku grunted. I guess I was wrong. Riku and Sora never always knew they were gay. But I never really payed attention to their orientation until Sora violated my mouth, unleashing my inner rainbow.

"Ever since I met Ax- Nevermind about that. Forget I said anything," Whatever. They'll understand when their testosterone hits them in two years.

"Whatever," Riku and Sora rolled their eyes. So for the rest of the afternoon, I was stuck repeating the 5th Grade. Fun fun. Once the day was over, I walked home alone. Why was today so... Deja Vu? Destiny Island was still familiar, and I made my way up my old driveway with no problem. I put my hand on the doorknob and started inside. Before I could completely turn the knob, I realized: I was 11. My mom was still alive. My heart sank and I thought if I really wanted to see her. Before I could make my own decision, I heard voices from the other side of my door, so I pressed my ear so I could hear better.

"Tifa," My dad's voice rang, "I can't do that for you. I would get killed!! Those kinds of people are dangerous and loose canon. I mean, I'm a business man, not a druggie,"

"Honey," My mom's weak voice spoke and my heart snapped. No matter how much I hated what she let those men do to me, I couldn't help but love her, "Sweetie, Cloud, I _need _those drugs. I- I can't live without them,"

"Tif, I told you for the millionth time: I cannot do that. Those men would kill me in an instant!! I mean, Saix is one evil man!! He would hurt me. Why can't you go?"

"I'm sick!!" My mom's voice cracked, "I can't fucking find the energy!! I can't even love my own son as much as I could when we were younger!! I was 16 when I had him!! I can't do this... I just can't..."

"Please don't cry," My dad hissed icily, "I know, and I've been with you all these 11 years: helping you raise Roxas, getting a college degree, getting a job, just so you can blow it on weed!!"

My throat tightened and a tear rolled down my eye. Why do I all of a sudden recognize this day so well? Why does this seem like such a familiar conversation between my mom and dad? And listening to this conversation with my more mature 17-year-old head, I understood more of what my mom and dad were saying. My mom wasn't lazy; she was sick, weak, and worn out. She needed the drugs to relieve all these emotions and stresses she faced; just like my... cuts. She wanted more for me. She felt like a failure for not having any income to get me where I needed to go.

She had to raise me alone, while Cloud was climbing the corporate ladder. [And failing. Miserably.]

"Cloud," My mom's voice whispered, and I pressed my ear harder to the door, "Where are you going?"

"Out," He spat, "I won't be home 'til late,"

"And my... drugs...?" She begged. I wanted to bust open the door, run in, drop kick Cloud, and hug my mom tight. She gave me that warm, fuzzy feeling that made me feel safe and loved. Just like Axel.

"Send Roxas to get them. He actually loves you," I heard Cloud approach the door and I dove into the shrub by our door, hiding completely. Cloud slammed the door and grumbled under his breath, "The kid won't be good for anything else, anyway,"

After waiting in silence for a bit, Cloud drove off and I bursted out in sobs. "Wh- Why!?!? Dammit!!" Tears rolled down my face and my voice grew hoarse from the cries. I sat in the shrubs, venting my worthless emotions. Cloud was the damn one who came up with sending the 11-year-old to get drugs and get raped!! Not my mom... 10 minutes passed and I managed to calm down and make myself presentable. With one last breath, I stepped through the door and into my old home.

"Mom?" I called, throwing my bag on the couch, "Mom?"

"Roxas, Sweetie," My mom came out of the kitchen with a glass of water, "How was your last day of school? You're my big 6th Grader now!!" I stared at her. She was still tall and thin, her long brown hair cascaded down her back, and she was in jeans and a baggy T-shirt. Her face was pale, and the life and fire in her eyes were dead. Despite the fact she was alive and walking around, she looked completely kaput.

I ran across the room and closed the gap between me and her, wrapping my arms around her hips, "Mommy,"

"Roxas," She laughed, "What's gotten into you? You haven't called me 'Mommy' since you were 8,"

"I love you," I cried.

She laughed again, "I love you too," I squeezed her tighter and buried my face in her stomach. I breathed her in. She smelled like love: cinnamon and fabric softener. Just like Axel. My eyes watered and she ran her fingers through my hair.

My mom sighed and pulled away. "I have to go to the store. I'll be back in 30-ish minutes,"

I nodded and she left, so I started straightening up the house. The house looked relatively clean and I flipped on cartoons. Almost after 5 minutes of sitting down, I fell asleep. 20 minutes later, I woke up and I wandered into my mom's room. "Mom?"

My mom was changed into baggy pajamas and she covered herself in her blankets. "Oh Roxy,"

She called me Roxy. Just like Axel. Then, something in my mind was triggered and I almost passed out: Today was the day of my first rape. Could I do anything to change it!? "Yes, Mom?"

"C-Can you," She grabbed my hand and handed me a folded piece of paper with an address on it, "Go run down by this place and talk to a man named Xemnas? Please? It'll make me so happy if you get a bag with white powder in it. I need it for a headache I just got,"

And my voice was overpowered by something in my head, "Sure Mom," Looks like I couldn't change the past after all. Which means, I have to relive my second to worst nightmare. Again. And again. And again.

"Thank you, Baby," She smiled and blew me a kiss.

Running down the street, I decided to get this over with as fast as I could. The familiar alleyway in a very abandoned section of the Island came into vision and I slowed down. My breathing was uncontrollable, my eyes were wild and frantic, and the ice sweat ran down my forehead. The gravel crunched underneath my feet and a bitter smell of smoke and trash caused me to choke. A tall, bulky man with silver hair and tan skin looked up at me. His narrow, evil eyes made my head spin. "And who the hell are you?"

"R-Roxas..." My voice was small and terrorized.

The other three men looked up, "Look how cute this kid is, Xemnas. Who sent you, Roxas?"

Xemnas smiled creepily and looked up at me with an evil plan hatching behind his Godless eyes. My voice was still small and weak, "My... My mom, Tifa. Sh-She said so-something about... a white powder in a bag for her headache,"

Xemnas chuckled and his deep voice bellowed, "Ahh... So my dear friend Tifa wants more of this," He held a small bag with a chalky powder in it, "Did she send anything to compensate for it...?"

My mouth was dry and I knawed on my lip, "W-What do you mean? She just sent me here with n-nothing else..."

He pursed his lips, then formed them into a narrow smile. I gulped and knew what he was going to say, "Well... Looks like we'll have to think of an alternate. Come closer, Roxas,"

I should've ran away. I should've cussed him out. I should've fought back. Against my conscience, I hastily stepped forward and approached the circle of men. A man with blue hair and a big 'X' across his face handed me a white rolled up thing. "Breathe it in," He smiled, "It will make you feel good,"

The joint was between my fingers and I my body shook. "N-No thank... You..."

The blue haired man's eyes widened and he raised his eyebrows, "Really? Don't make me-" He cracked his knuckles, "-Force you. That _won't _make you feel better,"

My muscles tightened and I placed the drug between my lips. I sucked on it and I coughed on the overpowering feeling I got in my lungs and throat. But the blue haired man was right. I felt light headed and easygoing. But, mind you, I was still EXTREMELY scared and nervous.

"Ready to get what you came for? I'll bet your mommy will love you if you bring her some," Xemnas cooed in my ear. A shiver shot down my spine and something was holding me back from running away.

I nodded and he smiled and scooted closer to me. The night air was breezing by and the sun was disappearing behind the tall buildings concealing us from the outside world. "Just relax. This won't hurt too bad. In fact, it'll do just the opposite," With that last statement, he pinned me down to the ground and I felt a painful pressure on my hips.

"Wh- What are you doing!?" I screamed, as he pulled down my pants. Then, he pressed his lips to mine and I tasted stale McDonald's and bitter smoke. I tried to claw at him but he flipped me over and gave me a hard, stinging slap on my bare ass.

"Stop!!" I screamed, cried, yelled, demanded. Call it what you want, but with my 17-year-old head, I knew he was just beginning. Tears and blood gushed from my face and I tasted the salty-metallic contrast.

"Please!!" My voice was cracking and growing weak, "Just please!!" I felt a strange, foreign pressure and pain engulfed me and my body. Blood, sweat, tears... all escaped my body and I whined for mercy.

"AAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!! MOMMY!! HELP ME!!"

* * *

My eyes flashed open and I found myself in a moving car. Then I saw the red hair. "Axel!! Where am I!?"

"Axel!?" A girls voice sang, "That ain't no Axel!! That's a Reno!!"

Reno's, not Axel's, voice laughed. Although Reno and Axel had the exact same voice, Reno's didn't have the same... Pizzazz. "Yep, I'm Reno. But Axel is worried sick about you,"

I looked behind by me to see Rikku sitting by me in the back. "Yeah!! He called us, panicking, saying that you sent him a text... And he spent a long time looking all over for you!! What the hell happened?!"

My eyes fluttered. I wasn't going to tell them about my... dream, "I dunno. I was walking to Axel's and your place," I shook my head, "And I felt weak and collapsed. I couldn't get up, so I sent Axel the message. Then I blacked out. Why am I in your car?"

Reno said, "We drove home from a party, because Axel wanted us home to help find you, and on the way, we saw a body on the side of the road. I didn't know who it was, since the last time I met you, I was stoned, and Rikku just knew it was you. We picked you up about 6 minutes ago and we are currently taking you to Axel,"

"What's the time?" I asked. I was surprised I wasn't in tears yet. I mean, I had a VERY intense dream about one of my biggest nightmares of my life. But I just couldn't cry in front of my boyfriend's family.

"Almost 3 AM. How long have you been on the sidewalk?" Reno asked.

"I dunno, since 1 at least," I rubbed my temples, trying to relieve myself of my migrane.

"Geez," Rikku sighed, "You must be freezing. Here-" She handed me a blanket, "- And feel free to stay with us tonight,"

Reno added, "Yeah, Kid. Feel free to stay,"

I smiled at the fact I was welcome. With one last turn and stop sign, we were in Axel's driveway. With Axel, Demyx, and Zexion waiting for us. I stumbled out of the car and ran to Axel. "Roxas!!" He caught me when I jumped in his arms. In seconds, we were in his room. And that's when I broke down.

"Aw.." Axel crawled into the bed with me; his hands loosely wrapped around me, "Tell me what happened,"

I gulped and breathed him in: Cinnamon and fabric softener again. I liked that smell. Only him and my mom could pull it off, though. "I- I had a long... Dream when I was blacked out."

"What?" Axel's voice grew worried, "What was it about?"

A little, sorrowful puddle of my tears collected on Axel's wrist. He tightened his arms, afraid that if he let go, I would fly away and leave forever. I sighed and whispered, "The last day of 5th Grade,"

"What happened then?"

"The day of my... first..."

Axel just knew what I was talking about, "Oh my God, Roxy. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Well... that's a stupid question. Of course you're not... Is there anything I can do?" **[2]**

I blinked my eyes shut, "That's not it though... It was my dad,"

"What?" Axel rubbed my back and I felt the warm safety flood my body.

"You see," I tried to explain, "I relived the entire thing with my 11-year-old body, but I had my more matured 17-year-old head. So I listened on a conversation my parents had... And I was wrong..."

"What do you mean?" He kissed the back of my neck and I trembled into his body.

"I- I heard them talking and... My dad told my mom to send me to get her drugs basically. And my mom wasn't lazy. She was sick. Like, really sick."

"Oh, Roxy. What was she sick with?" If any past boy or girlfriend were in Axel's position, they'd label me off as looney and dump me... But Axel took a true interest and wanted to help me.

"Y'know, I was never sure. But she had me when she was 16, so my guess was that she was too stressed and exhausted to handle anything anymore,"

"Just like you and your... cuts?" Axel concluded.

I liked how he understood me, "Exactly. Anyway, I was listening in and my dad said I'm good for nothing besides fetching drugs and getting raped..."

"He said that?"

I nodded and choked out, "All these years, he kept telling me that Mom was always addicted, and she cared more about the pot than me-" I sniffled, "- But really, she was depressed because she couldn't take it anymore and she never contributed to helping me with my future. He lied to me. For 17 years,"

"Wow," Axel sighed and I snuggled even closer into him, "What are you going to do about your dad?"

I shrugged, "I dunno. What _should _I do?"

After a long silence, Axel drew circles on my back, lulling me to sleep, "I say you should take your time and see if you can forgive him.... But y'know, if you can't, you'll be 18 next year and graduating, then you and me can go off to college or something,"

My heart stopped. Me and him. He's already got the future in a fuzzy planning stage. I teared up and kissed his hand, since he was hugging me from behind. "That sounds... Amazing..."

**A/N: Hee hee ((: I couldn't resist the AkuRoku... I mean, who could?**

**So I hope this chapter... I dunno... explained...? But I'm beginning to wonder... Should I up the rating to M? This, not to want to spoil anything, is probably my only intense/mature chapter... But please let me know if... You think it's too much.**

**Thanks :DD**

**Footnote Time~~~**

**[1]~ I haven't said 'Doi' since 3rd grade!! Ahhh, memories :33**

**[2]~ I find it annoying when people ask me if I'm okay when I'm clearly not...**

**I am currently watching LA Ink and typing at the same time [Plus I'm listening to Marvin Gaye. Hooo Yeah, I can multitask like no other ((;], so I just HAD to bring back Rikku and Reno. Want a hint for next chaper? Okay: There will be tons more Reno and Rikku!!**

**Oh, and incase you were wondering, this is what happened with Sora and Riku: Axel took Roxas home, then he got yelled at by Sora and Riku for disappearing [but he never told about the attempted suicide]. So they hung out, then Sora and Riku went back to Destiny Islands. Hee.... Sorry for cheaping out all you SoRiku fans.**

**Lurve and Review!!**

**~~~~SAMwich :33 **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Dude. This is, by far, my MOST FAVORITE chapter!! I really think you'd love it. It's funny ((:, or at least I hope it is... Okay. I'ma get on with it. :DD**

**But first, I must say CONGRATS to mah dear LunaMaddie [or just Maddie] for being the fucking Sam Points champ!! Like 10,000,000 Sam Points so far!! So again, congrats to jyoo!!~~~ This Chapter is ferr you!! **

**Disclaimer: Mmm... Nope.**

I stirred in my sleep, then slowly woke up. Axel's alarm clock read that it was a little after 6 in the evening. Holy hell!! I was asleep for a full 15 hours!! God, trauma can really make you tired.... I rubbed my eyes and left to get some water, but I made it just out of door when I heard the loud music. And I mean the music was LOUD. Vibrations ran through the floor and the walls, carrying the music.

Then I heard Reno sing REALLY loudly, _"Yo... I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!!"_

"_So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!!" _Rikku's voice sang back just as loud. I jogged to the living room to see the couches pulled back and Demyx, Zexion, Reno, Rikku, and Axel singing and dancing. The speakers in the corner were booming a loud, peppy song sang by a group of girls.

"_I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!!" _Reno sang back, shaking his hips with Rikku in synch. Demyx, Zexion, and Axel were crazily crumping in beat with the music, laughing hard. I'll be honest, this was one hell of a scene to watch.

"_So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!!" _Rikku smiled and shook her hips against Reno's thigh. Grinding, if you will.

"_I wanna-" _Reno sang short and loud, while Demyx, Zexion, and Axel added a chorus of "Hup's" after each 'I wanna' from Reno, _"I wanna- I wanna- I wanna- I wanna really, really, really, really want a zigga zig-ga!!"_

I snorted out a large laugh and watched in awe. Zexion carefully sang loud and proud, _"If you want my future... Forget my past!!"_

"_If you wanna get with me... Better make it fast!!" _Demyx sang back, with Zexion jumping and hopping around him. Another loud laugh escaped my lips.

Axel joined in and threw his arms around both Demyx and Zexion's necks and added out, _"Now don't go wastin'... my precious time... Get your act together, we could be just fine!!" _Then he let go and clapped to the beat, laughing and shaking his butt.

Rikku took over the spotlight and stomped her foot while she sang, _"Yo... __I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!!"  
_

Reno laughed and shook his hips too, then did this crazy thing with his hands and arms,_ "So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!!__"_

"_I wanna-" _Rikku sang this time, and Demyx, Zexion, and Axel added their "Hup's" again, _"I wanna- I wanna- I wanna- I wanna really, really, really, really want a zigga zig-ga!!"_

My side was hurting from laughing so much, then Axel, Demyx, and Zexion formed a line and did a bunch of silly dance moves and spun around in circles while singing as a chorus, _"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends!! Make it last forever, friendship never e-e-ends!! If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give!! Taking is too easy, but that's the way it i-i-is!!"_

I shook my head in amusement and crossed my arms and leaned against the hallway wall. Demyx stepped out of line and belted out, _"What do you think about that!? Now you know how I feel!!"_

Zexion waltzed with Demyx while he laughed out, _"Say you can handle my love!? Are you for real!?"_

Axel noticed me and danced his way towards me. I tried to pull away, but he included me by helping me sway my waist round and round while he softly sang in my ear, _"I won't be hasty... I'll give you a try!! If you really bug me, then I'll say goodbye!!"_

Reno took his solo and continued to shout and shake, _"Yo... I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!!"_

Rikku faithfully grinded against him again and panted back, _"So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!!"_

"_I wanna-" _Reno replied with a smile and more dancing, while Demyx, Zexion, and Axel added their "Hup's" again, _"I wanna- I wanna- I wanna- I wanna really, really, really, really want a zigga zig-ga!!"_

Everyone besides me and Axel yelled out the chorus, _"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends!! Make it last forever, friendship never e-e-ends!! If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give!! Taking is too easy, but that's the way it i-i-is!!"_

Then, all of a sudden, Axel shoved me away and motioned me to sing. Somehow, somewhere... The words flew out of me and I proudly rapped, _"__So here's a story from A to Z!! You wanna get with me  
you gotta listen carefully!! We got Em in the place who likes it in your face, we got G, like MC, who likes it on an Easy V!! Doesn't come for free, she's a real lady, and as for me.. Ah you'll see!!" _

I blushed when my little solo was over and everyone surrounded me and laughed. Then, we all screamed, but still sang,_ "Slam your body down and wind it all around!! Slam your body down and wind it all around!!" _

I sucked in a breath and joined into the last chorus,_"__If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends!! Make it last forever, friendship never e-e-ends!! If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give!! Taking is too easy, but that's the way it i-i-is!!"_

Everyone motioned for me to sing out loud again, so I yelled out with Rikku, _"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta- You gotta- You gotta- Slam!! Slam!! Slam!! Slam!!" _We jumped and kicked and danced and laughed with every "Slam."

Axel and the rest of them chanted, growing louder and louder, _"Slam your body down and wind it all around!! Slam your body down and wind it all around!! Slam your body down and wind it all around!!"_

Demyx laughed out, _"Slam your body down and zigga zig-ga!!" _

Then we all quietly said, _"If you wanna be my lover...." _And then we collapsed on the floor, breathless and laughing hard.

When we settled down and caught our breath, I propped up on my elbows and smirked, "Spice Girls? Really?"

Reno rolled his eyes and nudged me with his foot, "Nice to see you finally awake, Sleeping Beauty-"

"Hah!! I told you that 'Princess' suits you!!" Axel interrupted. **[1]**

I rolled my eyes at him while Reno tackled his little brother, "What did I say about interrupting, Little Bro?!"

Reno straddled Axel's hips and pinned him against the carpet. Axel tried to him fight off while shouting, "You didn't say shit!!"

"And more with the cussing... Geez. I did a pitiful job raising you..." Reno nonchalantly tsk-ed.

Axel glowered and gave up resisting, "Oh go smoke it up..."

Reno crawled off and onto the couch, "No thanks. I'm quitting drugs. The fun is... vanishing. And I read this creepy article online about how jacked up your body gets in the long run,"

Rikku smiled and found a perch on her boyfriend's lap, "Good for you!! We can finally have good, clean, sober fun!!"

"Right," Reno nuzzled her, "But I'm in the mood for good, clean, sober, _naked _fun right now," And with that, they dismissed themselves and escaped through the front door.

"Where are they-" I started.

"The Parlour. Reno respects the fact I don't want to hear him and his heterosexual activities," Axel sighed and put the living room back together. I got up and gave him a hand with shoving the couch back to it's original place. Demyx and Zexion emerged from the kitchen with a bag of chips and four beers.

"What now?" I asked while Demyx straightened up the stereo system in the corner.

"I dunno," Axel took a swig of his drink, "What do you guys wanna do?"

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I checked the Caller ID: **Cloud**

"Sorry," I got up and stepped onto the back porch, "I have to take this. Hello?"

"_Roxas!! Where the hell have you been?! I wake up and you're not here!! Then, you never come home!! I've been calling you over and over and over again!!"_

I rolled my eyes and slumped into the plastic chair. I didn't need this. Not from Mr. Liar. "I've been around,"

"_C'mon, Why have you been so... spacey from me ever since we moved here?" _I cringed. Cloud, recently, has been making sad efforts to win me over... It's a little fuzzy whether he's sincere or not.

"Since when did you ever care?" I hissed a little too icily.

"_Now wait a damn minute, Roxas. I've been working really hard to support you and me. We've been here for a month or so and you're really... Being an ass," _He scolded.

A sharp, vague laugh escaped my throat and I sat up, "That's not the only shit you've said about me,"

Silence. Then an awkward cough. _"I have no clue what you're talking about. I love you and-"_

"Lies," I spoke evenly and thick, "Think back to six years ago. On my last day of 5th Grade,"

"_What are you..." _More silence. What a coward. Too afraid to face the music in the past. Then again, this was a pretty deep topic to touch over the phone.

"Forget it," I sighed, "Think about it. I'm around town. Don't expect me home for a while," I couldn;t handle it, so I shoved it away. Whatever. I'll deal with it later.

"_Hold on. Don't just end this so-" _I snapped my phone shut and slipped it back in my jeans pocket. I pulled my sweater tighter around me, thinking about everything. Has he had some epiphany or something? Some sort of 'Love Your Only Kid' realization? Or has he signed up for a parenting class? The cold air stabbed my cheeks and I slumped back into the chair, my eyes half closed and tired, despite my 15-hour rest.

I heard the door open and shut, so I expected Axel to help me through this. To my surprise, Demyx's voice said, "Family drama?"

"Something like that," I shut my eyes all the way, "Nothing important,"

"Well, sure it is. If something's bothering you, shouldn't you talk about it?"

A cold breeze rustled my hair and I shivered, "It's just... Can I disown my dad?"

I looked up to see Demyx's eyes widen, "Don't you think that's a bit too extreme? I mean, sure... You're old enough- or almost old enough- but are you financially ready and mature enough to... fend for yourself?"

My stomach rumbled and Demyx moved to sit by the chair next to me, "I suppose... I'm not. But, I just can't take anymore shit with my dad,"

"How about you think about it for a while," He smiled and patted me on the shoulder, then merged back into the house.

My thoughts wandered recklessly, crashing into the last of the sanity. I needed closure with my dad. I desperately needed it.

* * *

Axel gave me the daily greeting as I slid into my Homeroom seat on Monday. "Roxas," Aerith called, "Can you please see me?"

I wandered to her front desk, "Yeah?"

"Oh Roxas," She rustled through papers and files, "I've been... Concerned about you lately. I've been keeping a close eye on you for a while... and well, I'm worried. You seem very... out of it, your test scores can be certified as genius, yet your marking grades are pitiful. Since graduation and final exams are coming up fast, you need to get it together. Don't you have any plans for your future?"

My heart popped. No teacher has ever taken a particular interest in me, personally. And my plans for the future included Axel. Maybe Demyx and Sora. "I... Uh..."

"Any aspirations or dreams?" She put on a sad face and looked up at me from her seat.

My only dream was to be with Axel. "No, I don't really-"

I was interrupted with Principal Shinra at the door, "Ms. Gainsborough? May I have a word with you?"

"Sure," Aerith smiled, "One moment Roxas. Take a seat,"

"What was all that about?" Axel asked.

"I dunno. Something about grades and test scores,"

"So what do you guys wanna do later? I heard there's a show down at Club XIII," Demyx added in.

"Club XIII?" I asked.

"It's a bar that plays live shows occasionally. It doesn't card and the music is pretty good," Axel answered.

Aerith walked back in and announced to the class, "Well, it seems we have a new student joining us today," My throat tightened and I could feel my body shake uncontrollably. I felt cold. Numb. My very blood turning to slush and even Axel couldn't warm me up.

"Roxy," Axel leaned in, "What's the matter?"

My mouth opened slightly and moved, yet no words came out. The world stopped spinning and I guess I held my breath a little too long because I was gasping for more oxygen, desperate for a sense of relief. The petite blonde stood by Aerith, smiling and a pale blush dusting across her cheeks. Her wide blue eyes took in the entire snoozy class. The Apocalypse was coming and my heart wasn't ready. That last ounce of sanity in my body was being slowly eaten with every second she decided to hold eye contact with me.

"This," Aerith smiled, "is our newest student, Namine Holt,"

**Ooohh crap. Roxas is sooo screwed!! Good thing he has Axel, right? Right? But he said it himself: My very blood turning to slush and even Axel couldn't warm me up. **

**Dammit, that sucks.**

**So yeah. I totally cliffhanger-ized you all!! This Chapter was mah favertyee because A) I mean, The Spice Girls meet KH!! Who could top that!? And B) Fresh drama for me to screw Roxas over with!! Mwahahaha!!**

**Anyyyywhoooo, I have Chappie 11 in my head, so I'ma go and type it up.**

**Footnote Time~~~**

**[1] If you don't understand the 'Princess' joke, please refer back to Chapter-O Uno ((: kthnx~**

**I shall watch moar Powderpuff Girlz so, enjoyyy and review!! One more thing... MERRY NEW YEAR!!! I would love to know all yurr guys's's Resolutions. Mine? My gymnastics is getting sloppy and inconsistent, so yeah. I gots that to work on :D**

**Lurve to allz!!**

**Later Taters!!**

**~~~~SAM**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So yeah. This chapter is neutral. Maybe a filler chapter... So sorry. I'll try to keep it as fun and readable as possible. Hahaha ((: Hope everyone had a nice New Year's!! It's the Year of The Luxord!! Guhh. My poor Demyx's year is over... And does anyone else find it funny how the "End Of The World" [that 2012 thing] is supposed to happen in the year of the Larxene? **

**Oh, one more thing. You MUST go read "That New Year's Eve" by LunaMaddie. It's awesomely funny!! By the way, it's AkuRoku. Hooo yeah, it's Angsty Roxas. Yummay!! Move over Zexion, Roxas is mah new favertyee Emo!! So go read 'n' review it!! She's an awesome writer who needs some reviews to get her going!! :DD**

**If you want me to read 'n' review any of yurrr stuff, lemme know. I'd be more than happy to!!1!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah. I think that by now, you'd get that I don't own Kingdom Hearts and whatever else pops up in my stories. So if you don't, please refer back to the past 10 chapters.**

"Roxas," Axel shook me, "What's wrong? You look like you're really sick,"

Her eyes. Those big blue eyes, shallow and careless. And she didn't look away from me. Another light blush crept across her cheeks and she flashed me a small smile. I had no clue what to do. Smile back? Throw up? Cry? Go and slap her silly for permanently ruining my life? A wave of nausea hit me and I almost fell to the floor. Luckily, Axel caught me and raised me back up to my seat.

"Okay," Aerith smiled, "How about we place you... In between Demyx and Roxas. They're two very nice boys. I'm sure they'll let you feel welcome here,"

"A-Axel," I stuttered under my breath, "Please... Help... Me..."

"Is that the one chick you were telling me about? Your ex?" Axel asked.

I nodded hesitantly while Namine settled herself into her new seat. "Hey Roxas," Naminé smiled innocently. She was acting like she did nothing wrong. What a bitch.

"Roxas?" I tried my hardest to ignore her and block her out, but she kept pushing further, "Are you still mad at me? C'mon, isn't that all in the past? We've been together since we were 15... And I think I still love you..."

Axel heard this and shot me an angry look. He already hated Naminé. That made two of us. "Why are you here?" I hissed under my breath.

Naminé laughed, "Geez. I'd figure I'd get a much warmer greeting from you. Anyway, like I said: I still love you and I wanted to get you back. You mean a lot to me... Roxy,"

My heart snapped in half. "Just shut the fuck up!! You're lying to my face!! I don't wanna hear it!!"

Aerith looked up from the book she was telling us about, a startled and worried expression on her face, "Roxas... Language. I'd hate for you to get detention. Is everything alright?"

"Can I go to the nurse?" I begged, almost brought to tears. Naminé shot me a pained look and I shoved that out of my head.

"Um, sure. Lemme write you a pass. What's wrong?" She got up and grabbed a stack of Nurse Passes and began to fill one out.

"I'm about to hurl," I stated flatly, "And can I have someone take me? Just incase?" I looked at Axel, who was almost as red as his hair.

"I suppose. Who do you want to take?" Aerith handed me the note.

Axel mouthed, "Take Demyx," My heart lurched. Was Axel mad at me?

"I'll take Demyx," I grabbed my bag and Demyx followed me out of the class with his stuff.

"So Rox," He tried to keep up with my fast walking, "The nurse is the other way,"

"We're not going to the nurse," I stated, then snuck past a few open-door classes to the back exit. The only good thing about a school that actually trusts its students? No security cameras.

"Where are we going, then?" He asked, as we ducked through the shrubs, slowly working our way to the busy sidewalk.

"Anywhere but here," My pace was still fast and Demyx had to practically jog to keep up, despite his longer legs.

**Axel's POV**

"So," I walked up to the blonde, "You're Naminé, right?"

She smiled at me and slid her oversized purse onto her shoulder, "That's me. I take it you know Roxas?"

As much as I wanted to seriously hurt her, I played nice, "Yep. I was Roxas's first friend here,"

She frowned, but quickly worked her way back into a friendly smiled, "So you're pretty close?" I nodded, "So do you know why he's... Mad at me?"

_Yes. Because you mocked his biggest trauma and manipulated him to give your spoiled ass what you want. Fugly whore. _Too bad I was playing nice. Or else I would've really, truly expressed my colorful language to her, "No. Can't say I do. So were you guys together back at Destiny Islands, or something?"

She lightened up and eased into the topic, "Yes. For 2 years. But, he dumped me so cruelly for no reason a few months back,"

I concealed a laugh with a cough. "Do you have any idea why he ended it? I don't mean to intrude any business that isn't mine," Good thing Reno gave me lying lessons when I was little.

"Wow," She smiled sweetly. And I use the term 'sweetly' _VERY _loosely, "You are quite the gentleman. Care to show me to my next class?"

"What do you have?" I sorta understood why Roxas fell for her in the first place. She was really cute, only because she was a Roxas with boobs and lighter hair. And she was really good at covering up her evil, sadistic ways. But her and Roxas together? Um... No. She was more like his twin sister. His evil, Abercrombie & Fitch wearing twin sister.

"Русский," She stopped by her locker and I waited patiently for her to grab her shit.

"Ах ... таким образом вы русский, тоже?" I fluently spoke.

She was a bit choppy and non-flowing, but she clearly said, "Да я. Так сколько же классов мы вместе?" She handed me a folded piece of paper.

I looked over it and almost died, "All of them," I was stuck in all my fucking classes with her. Dammit.

She smiled big and blushed, "Well, good thing I'm with you," I could swear she was hitting on me. Now I know why Roxas went to the nurse. This chick was icky.

I lead her down the wide halls and into Mr. Fosse's Russian II class, "Here we are. Go talk to Mr. Fosse and he'll get you settled,"

Luckily, I managed to get rid of her. Zexion was looking at me with a puzzled expression, "Since when did you turn Roxas into a girl?"

"Shut up. That's the biggest bitch you'll ever meet. Trust me," I leaned back in my chair and Zexion leaned on me.

"Why? She's cute. Not exactly what I'd label off as the evil type," I shuddered. Zexion and I were close, but right now I didn't want physical contact with anyone. Besides my Roxy.

Zexion got the message and slouched in his own seat, "Where's Dem and Rox? Dem wasn't by his locker and Roxas isn't here,"

"Roxas needed to go to the nurse. But my guess is that they skipped," Mr. Fosse introduced Namine to the class and seated her on the other side of the room.

"Why'd they skip without us?" He looked hurt.

"It's a long story," Then my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Demyx: **Me and Rox are at The Parlour with Rikku and Reno. Rox left his phone in his locker, so can you grab it for him? Meet us here as soon as you can. And tell Zexion.**

I tossed my phone to Zexion and he read it, "So we gonna skip after this?"

"As soon as I get some answers. Get Roxas's phone for me next passing. His combination is 26-48-18,"

"Mkay," He wrote it down on his hand, "What kind of answers do you need?"

"Alright," Mr. Fosse announced, "Pair up and work on the assignments you have. We'll go over them as a class at the end of the period,"

"Be right back," I got up and sat by Naminé, "So what'd Fosse say?"

"Just to sit back and relax today. I'll get everything tomorrow," She looked up from a drawing she was doing, "Anyway, back to Roxas. He said I wasn't good enough for him and..." She got her eyes to water, "... He told me it was over. On my birthday,"

"Oh," I swallowed and put as much sympathy I could muster up, "I'm so sorry. Do you know why... He ended it? Other than that you weren't good enough?"

She sniffled, "He kept pressuring me into sex. But I want to remain abstinent until marriage. And you probably already know," She dramatically wiped away a tear, "He's sorta into drugs... So he tried to pressure me into that, too,"

My face burned and I resisted punching her lying, blonde face in, "Really? That doesn't seem like the Roxas I've known..."

"He's a liar," She managed to get her fake tear flow to stop, "And I still love him. Then my mom got a job here and we picked up and moved,"

"Ahh... Well..." I wasn't sure what to say, other than a rainbow of cuss words and vulgar slurs.

"It's alright," She picked up her pencil and continued on her drawing. An elaborate heart. What a faker, "Can you go, please? I need to be alone,"

"Yeah, sure..." She actually had the nerve to dismiss and shove me away like that? After ruining my boyfriend's life and lying straight to my goddamn, pissed off face!? I said this numerous times and I'm gonna say it again: What. A. Bitch.

My phone buzzed: **You coming or what?**

I looked up to find Mr. Fosse occupied with a newspaper, all in Russian. **Yeah. After Russian. So give me and Zexion like 40 more minutes to get there. How's Roxas?**

Almost instantly, Demyx replied: **Okay. Tell my Zexy I miss him. And Roxas is right here. He's been silent this whole time. Reno wants you to buy him cigarettes on your way here.**

**Tell him to fuck off. I ain't getting shit.**

**Alrighty... I told him. You're lucky he's cool. But I gotta go. Rikku wants me to help her with a guy's tattoo.**

I slammed my phone shut and stared at the wall, trying to pass the final 20 minutes of class... Naminé was drawing, acting as if nothing ever upset her. You know when you watch one of those stupid chick flick movies, there's that evil girl who screws everything up for the main character, and you hate her, even though you know nothing about her personally? Namine was that evil girl. But as much as I wanted to end Naminé myself, Roxas was the one who needed to face her and handle it... All I could do was pick him up every time he fell.

The release bell rang and I grabbed Zexion, "I'll grab Roxas's phone instead. Meet me by the back exit,"

He nodded in agreement and I quickly opened Roxas's locker. "Where's Roxas? I need to talk to him... I miss him..." A girl's voice said behind me.

"Not here. Buzz off," I grabbed his phone and slammed the locker shut, only to find Xion standing in front of me.

"Axel, right?" I nodded, "Okay... Please. I really want to get back together with him..." Jesus Christ!! How many girls were lining up for my Roxas?

"I heard he was already with someone," I tried to slide away from her.

"Who?" She jumped back in my way. I stopped, annoyed out of my head.

"I dunno. Ask him later,"

"Axel..." She begged.

I needed her out of my hair, so I brought up the first thing I could think of, "Nice shoes...?"

"What?" She raised her eyebrows. Shit, wrong thing to say.

"I meant... To say... was... Um... Have you met the new chick?" Not the best thing to bring up, but I was fucking desperate.

"Who?" She crossed her arms across her chest.

"Her name is Naminé," I walked away, "Find her. I'll bet you two have a bunch in common," They did: Bitches, same height, same body size, same desperate need for Roxas, and did I say bitches? Thought so...

"Axel, I-" I ran into the crowd before she could stall me any longer. What was it about girls that was so annoying? Holy shit. This is why I was gay. Zexion was waiting by the door and I pressed my lips quickly and sweetly against his.

"Axel!! What the hell!! We're both in a relationship..."

I kissed his mouth again and explained, "Sorry. Just needed to remind myself why I was gay. Girls are stupid, evil bitches. Besides, I couldn't resist,"

He rolled his eyes and hid a smile. The kisses were nothing. Just some way to keep my sanity in check. The only good thing about a school that trusts its students? No security cameras. Zexion was right behind me, keeping out of sight and finally, we were home free. The streets were busy, so we blended in. Well... I did. Zexion was still waiting for a growth spurt. "C'mon," I started jogging down the street, "We need to get to The Parlour,"

My phone buzzed and I slowed to a fast walk: **Dude... Roxas isn't okay. He's flipping out. Like a fucking bad acid trip... Hurry up!! Where the hell are you!?**

Adrenaline pumped through my veins. Roxas wasn't okay... My legs did the work and I sprinted the entire 2 miles between the school and The Parlour. Zexion was right behind me, struggling to keep up. The shop came into view and I bursted through the door, "Roxas!!"

It was filled, like 5 strangers waiting for a tattoo. Demyx sat up, "Ax!!"

"Where is he?" I asked, pushing my way through the mob of people.

"In the back room," Reno called from his perch, tattooing a big guy, "Last time I checked, he was passed out,"

"Dammit," I muttered under my breath, "Alright," My tired legs carried me to the back room and I shut the door behind me. Roxas was laying on the couch, eyes closed and heavy breathing. The window was open, so a peaceful breeze came in, and a ray of light shone down on Roxas, giving him the appearance of a treasure or angel.

My legs gave in and I crashed onto the chair by the couch, "Roxas," I stroked his tear-stained cheek with my thumb, "It's okay,"

"No it's... Not..." He murmured. His blue eyes flickered open and he gasped, "Wh-What happened?"

"She's back," I said, "Your ex, Naminé..."

"Fuck..." He groaned and I took him in my arms, "The best part is that she's acting like she did nothing wrong,"

"I know... I talked to her," My voice was low and steady, trying to be as soothing as possible.

"What!?" He sat up and freaked out, "You talked to Satan!?"

I nodded, "I didn't say anything... Really. I wanted to get her half of the story..."

"So you're saying you don't trust my side?" He crossed his arms and glared at me.

"N-No..." I panicked, "I was just-"

"Just stop..." He shook his head, "This needs to stop,"

**Roxas's POV**

Did I want to through with this? All this... Drama... Has been happening ever since Axel came into my life. Was it worth all my pain? He talked to the worst part of my life. To get her half. I told him her half. I confided in him. And... I need to go...

"Ax," I couldn't look at him and a tear left my eye, "I'll talk to you later," With that, I got up and ran away. Away from stress. Away from drama. Away from a burden. Only to run into another. My legs carried me to my house, faster and faster... Past the school, past the world, past everything. I slammed my front door behind me and ducked into the bathroom.

Why did she have to show up? Why? A lump in my throat suffocated me and my head spun, trying to catch my current place in life. Within seconds, I was stripped down to my boxers and I found my trusty pocketknife. Seconds passed as I held a great debate in my head. Did I want to cut? It's the only thing I knew how to do when I was... Down and out.

The devil on my shoulder won and the blade danced across my thigh, leaving a trail of red pain behind. I kept the light off, and I turned on the tub water. How much blood have I lost doing this? The answer: Not enough. It's not like I'm worth living. If I was, I'd never have so many issues: A lying dad, a psychotic ex-girlfriend, a boyfriend who makes me feel like caring for me is a chore, a requirement. Only with time would he start lying and sneaking around, then he'd be another Namine. I'd fall in love with him and he'd use it against me. The blood stopped and I did the usual nursing on it with bandages and Neosporin.

Then it clicked: Axel is going to turn against you.

My heart shattered and worthless tears ran down my face. The lungs in my chest worked its best to relieve me of pain, but what's that point? Nothing could relieve me. I had to get through life, only trusting myself. But could I even trust myself? Axel... Against me. The guy who made me feel warm and safe, just like my mom. The one who would put some of My World on his shoulders to lighten my load. The guy who made me feel like I had a heart.

What heart? I've mentioned my heart many times, but did it really exist? If so, it was just a black abysmal of tragedy and pain. Aren't hearts supposed to hold your biggest, most sacred treasures? Sora's heart was normal: He loved Riku. Demyx's heart was normal: He loved Zexion. And if Zexion ever failed [doubt it], then he had music. And Axel's heart... I had no clue what to make of his heart. He was a mystery. An alluring, sensuous mystery.

I got back into my clothes, and as soon as I cleaned up the bathroom, the doorbell rang. Did I want to answer it? Sadly, I did. And guess who was there... Axel.

"What do you want?" I tried to sound arrogant and rude, signaling him not being welcome.

He blinked and I saw something I thought I was never capable of doing: I saw his heart fall to the ground and crumble. Right in front of me. I broke Axel's heart. I guess I really was a heartless... A Nobody... "I was... Just..."

"Out with it..." Guilt didn't affect me, so I kept my Ass Personality.

"I did't mean it... About talking to Namine... I just wanted... I'm sorry..." His heart fell to the ground again.

"Right," Every past boy or girlfriend has said sorry. None of them have ever meant it. So why should Axel be an exception? "Like I belive that bull shit,"

And then I jumped and spat on the remains of Axel's heart. "Roxas... Why?"

Then I wanted to go through with it. I wanted to take this giant weight on my chest and breathe easy for once. "Axel... It's... Over..."

His face. Dead. I've only seen pain and depression as raw and powerful as his once: My mom. I backed into my house and shut the door. Never said good bye. I looked through the peep-hole to see Axel walking away. And I waited for my relief and happiness.

But instead, I've never felt worse in my life. My eyes filled with tears, blurring my vision. My small, weak voice erupted in a scream, "DAMMIT!!!" My heart... Scratch that... I had no heart. But if I did have a heart, it's sharp, jagged pieces were tearing up the walls of my insides and my body was cold. Ice cold. Colder than when I saw Namine stand in my Homeroom. Next to the guy who picked me up when I fell. Next to the guy I dumped for a stupid reason, nonexistent reason. Only after I broke up with Axel did I realize something very important.

Without Axel, there was no point in living anymore.

**A/N: Damn... This was a rather depressing chapter. But, I must say that everything happens for a reason. So yeah. That's all I have to say.**

**Raise your hand if you think Roxas is a fucking dumb ass. **

**So I am going to take a bath and plot out the next chapter. Review please~~~**

**Don't forget: "That New Year's Eve" by LunaMaddie. Oh, and just tell me about a fanfic of yurrrs [or someone else's] and I'll be happy to read 'n' review ((:**

**~~~~ Sam :33**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So you're all OMGWTF about last chapter... Hehe... Sorry. It had to be done for secret reasons I shan't reveal until the time comes. So shut up and read X33**

Life goes on, right? You pick up and move forward, right? And with good time and occupying yourself with other things, you'll be better than ever and ready to put yourself back on the market, right? Except... I can't do any of those things. Without Axel... I'm nothing... I'm just an angsty bastard that has a smart mouth and face piercings. Yep. That's my life. Cold, unforgiving, depressing.... Just like a hospital. Or a dentist's office.

"Roxas," My dad poked his head in my room and I buried myself deeper in the blankets, "You have someone at the door,"

"I'm busy. Leave a message," I'm not a morning person. My eyes cracked slightly and my alarm read 4:08 PM. Okay... I'm not an afternoon person, either.

"Get up," He smiled, "I'm sure you'll like who's at the door," Apparently, sleep was wrong when you're depressed, so I got up and scuffled to the front hall. In Axel's plaid PJ pants and Sora's hoodie, I "greeted" my unwelcome visitor. Cloud retreated into the kitchen.

"What do you want?" I glared as soon as I saw her blonde hair and rosy cheeks.

Naminé awkwardly smiled, "Can we talk?"

"I have nothing to say,"

"Then listen," She pried, trying to step in my house.

"Not in the mood," I started to shut the door, but Cloud welcomed her in.

"Naminé," He smiled, "Here, have a soda. How's Cid?"

"Daddy's great..." She accepted the drink and settled into my couch, "... He actually wants to hang out some time,"

"Oh good," Cloud got up, "I'll go give him a call," He left and I slouched into the other couch, facing Naminé.

"So Roxas," She crossed her legs, "How have you been? You left so abruptly, we never got the chance to catch up,"

Silence. I heard my dad laugh in the other room and Naminé patiently waited for an answer, "I'm giddy,"

She giggled and flipped her hair, "About us..."

"We're done," I chipped in before she could take the topic anywhere.

"Roxas," She looked down, "I'm terribly sorry about everything..."

This was amusing, "Really?" She nodded, "What exactly are you sorry for?"

Naminé cleared her throat and took a sip from her drink. "Just... Erm... Well-" Then the doorbell rang.

Cloud never seemed to emerge to answer it, so I got up and trotted over to the door, "Christ..."

"Hey Roxas," Xion smiled, "May I come in?"

Dammit. "Now's not a-"

"Roxas," Naminé sang, "Who is it?"

Xion raised an eyebrow, "And who is that?"

"Nobody," I said quickly. She shot me a look, "Alright. It's Naminé. Come in," Mind as well break up with both of them at the same time. Even though I liked neither of them. Whatever. Two birds, one stone.

"So is this who you're with?" Xion said after a mini silence.

I furrowed my eyebrows, "What?"

"Axel said something about how you're with someone... And then he told me to meet this Naminé chick," Xion stated.

Naminé smiled, "Yes, we're together..."

"No we're not!!" I interrupted.

"What?" The two girls asked in unison. They actually looked a lot alike. Besides the hair.

"Look... Xion, why are you here?" I rubbed my temples.

"Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out... Just as friends..." Fair enough.

"Oh please... Like he'd be seen with someone like you!!" Naminé spat. Uh oh... Her claws were coming out.

"Someone like me!?" Xion glared, "I'm not the one lying about dating Roxas!!"

Naminé crossed her arms, "Don't even go there. What goes on between me and Roxas is none of your damn business!!"

"Like I want part of that Fuck Train," Xion rolled her eyes.

My head hurt, so I grabbed a glass of water while they fought over me. Good thing neither one of them would ever win. "Look," I stepped in between them, "Quit fighting. Xion: Tonight's not a good night. Maybe some other time. And Naminé: Well... We have A LOT of stuff we need to talk about,"

Xion frowned, "Alright... See you around... I guess..." Then she left. Thank God. Only one left to get rid of.

"So," Naminé smiled and waltzed over to me, closing the gap, "Where were we?" Her eyes closed and I tried to back away, panicking.

"Naminé!!" I tried to ease her away, "Stop it!!"

"Stop what?" She whispered, her lips getting dangerously close.

"Stop trying to kiss me!!" She pressed herself against me and either she got stronger, or I was just a straight up pansy ass.

"But Roxy..." She was too close and my head was spinning, "I missed you..."

I gave in. Her lips caressed mine and I kissed back. But she wasn't Axel. She wasn't sweet and gentle... She was rough and hungry. But temptation got the best of me. Something erased all the horrors she did in the past. I forgot. "So does this mean we're back together?" She asked when I pulled away.

Were we? Should we? What about Axel? "Y-Yeah..."

* * *

**Axel's POV**

Rikku sat on my bed, stroking my hair, "Axel..." She cooed, "C'mon... It's been days that you've been like this... Tell me what's wrong..."

"Nngh..." I mumbled into my damp pillow. My tears were never ending and Reno, Demyx, Zexion, and now Rikku tried to pry me out of my room. Why did he... dump me? I never ever, ever planned to hurt him in anyway. Ever. And the worst part was that he never told me what was wrong. I have a feeling that Namine was getting to him... But I've been there for him all this time... Here to protect him and make him feel loved... We were only together for like 2 weeks and he just... Ended it.

"Axel..."

I sat up. Rikku's face expressed concern when she saw my red, swollen eyes and haunted face. Pale, hollow, lifeless face. "He..." I couldn't say it out loud.

"He what? Who?" She patted my back and gave me a soothing voice. I liked her. She reminded me of my mom. My loving, caring, wonderful mom.

"Roxas... Dumped... Me..." It took me 2½ minutes to get that 3-word sentence out.

She took me in her arms and held me, "He what!? Why!?"

I shrugged and more tears escaped, "He never said. He just said it was over and shut the door in my face..."

"Oh Axel..." Sadness framed her voice, "...I'm so sorry... Are you gonna be alright?"

I sniffled, "I am alright. If it's what Roxy wants, then he deserves it... All I want is for him to be happy... That's why I took interest: A cute kid who had an entire story in those big... blue... beautiful... eyes. Then, when I dug deeper into his past... I couldn't pry myself away. I felt it was my job to protect him and make him a little happier each day... And now," I bursted out in sobs, "He's... Gone... Forever..."

Rikku smirked, "You idiot,"

"What?!" Geez... Are ALL girls this bitchy!?

"Think back to a few weeks ago," She let go of me and crossed her arms.

My head counted backwards all those days, "Umm... I dunno..."

"What's on your fucking hip?"

"...Skin?" I was too sad to think clearly.

Her face flattened, "No. How about a certain tattoo?" I looked at her, curious, "I'm not a dumbass, Axel. You two wanted a symbolic tattoo to represent your future together,"

"How did you-" Wow. Only me and Roxas knew about that.

She rolled her eyes, "Please. I have Paine for a cousin. And like you said, 'She's fucking psychic,'"

I was shocked silent. Rikku was right. Damn... Reno was lucky to have her... "Anyway," She pulled her iPod out of her pocket and plugged it into my iHome, "Listen to this song. Marvin Gaye is an AMAZING singer... But more important: The lyrics..."

Rikku smiled and left the room, leaving me to press play on the iPod. Before I hit play, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Demyx texted: **Dude... Bad news... You wanna know?**

I hesitated, but eventually replied:** Go ahead... Fire away...**

**Okay... So me and Zexy were hanging out, right? Well... Zexy got a text from Xion... Saying something...**

**What did it say?**

A new message icon popped up and I gulped before opening it: **Well... Damn... Roxas... Is with Namin****é****...**

My heart snapped. What? He went to her? Why!? Did he lie to me? Was everything she did to him fake? But... Why her? I love him more than she ever could. More than anyone ever could. **What? Are you sure?**

**Positive. I asked Roxas myself. He was a little shaky at first, but he confirmed it...**

What!? No... No... No... I tossed my phone across the room and more tears left my eyes. A painful lump in my throat grew bigger and bigger and bigger to the point where I couldn't breathe. I needed a distraction, so I pressed 'Play' on the iPod. A low, even bass line came on, followed a drum beat and a guitar pattern.

_Ooh... I bet you're wondering how I knew  
'Bout your plans to make me blue  
With some other guy you knew before.  
Between the two of us guys,  
You know I love you more.  
It took me by surprise, I must say,  
When I found out yesterday.  
Don't you know that..._

I heard it through the grapevine...  
Not much longer would you be mine.  
Oh I heard it through the grapevine...  
Oh and I'm just about to lose my mind.  
Honey, honey yeah...

This song was painfully accurate. I tried to wipe away more tears, but the flow would never stop. My heart hurt and breathing seemed impossible. It makes you wonder, though: How many times can you break before you shatter?

_I know that a man ain't supposed to cry,  
But these tears I can't hold inside.  
Losin' you would end my life you see,  
Cause you mean that much to me.  
You could have told me yourself,  
That you love someone else.  
Instead..._

I heard it through the grapevine...  
Not much longer would you be mine.  
Oh I heard it through the grapevine...  
And I'm just about to lose my mind.  
Honey, honey yeah...  


Roxas... Why? How could you? I never wanted to hurt you. Ever.

_People say, "Believe half of what you see,  
Son, and none of what you hear."  
But I can't help bein' confused,  
If it's true please tell me dear...  
Do you plan to let me go  
For the other guy you loved before?  
Don't you know...  
_

_I heard it through the grapevine...  
Not much longer would you be mine.  
Oh I heard it through the grapevine...  
Oh and I'm just about to lose my mind.  
Honey, honey yeah... _

But... When the song faded away... I stopped crying. This song... It gave me a new mission. And if I failed at this mission, there would be no reason for me to live... I am going to get Roxas back. He needs me. But more importantly... I need him. He's the light at the end of my road. He's the smile in my world. He's the reason I can go about my mediocre life with a song in my heart and pride in my soul. He's the reason I'm still alive.

* * *

**Roxas's POV**

She's been good lately. No pushing, no begging, no pain, no loss.... Until they showed up. "What the FUCK is wrong with you!?" Sora pushed through my front door, and the ever present Riku was right behind him.

"Nice to see you too...?" I let them in and shut the door behind me, "So why are you here?" I didn't invite them, and neither did Cloud...

"Idiot," Riku mumbled, "Let's just say a little birdie told us about your new Jail Bait,"

My face reddened, "Look, I'm happy with Namine. I made a mistake by dumping her,"

Sora walked up to me and slapped me upside the head, "You fucktard!! Me and Riku aren't dumb. I've seen you around her: Tense, uncomfortable, miserable, distant... The list goes on..."

What? How did they know? "And," Riku added a slap upside the head for me, "You dumped Axel!? Why in the fuck would you do that!?"

I cleared my throat, "I wanted to beat him to the punch... Before he lied and used me... Like all the rest of them,"

Sora hung is head and Riku sighed, "Jesus... Okay," He raised his voice, "Does he REALLY look like the kind of guy to do that? More importantly... What rest of them?"

"Every other person I've been with... Has lied... Cheated... Used me..."

"Names..." Sora crossed his arms and leaned against Riku.

"Erm... Well... How about Pete? Belle? Aurora? Nat? Scott? James? Larry? Dana? Naminé?" **[1]**

Riku quirked one of his eyebrows, "I thought you just said dumping Naminé was a mistake,"

I bit my lip. Shit... I shouldn't have said Naminé... "Well... Shut up!!"

Sora tackled me to the ground, pinning me against the itchy carpet, "Look, you should really get back together with Axel. It's gonna be good for you,"

Rage steamed out of my ears, "And how the hell would you know what's good for me?! You two haven't cared about me since we were 14!!"

Sora eased up, but didn't let me off the ground, "Look... I love you, Roxas. Like a friendship. With Riku, I love him, too. But as a relationship,"

My muscles gave in; I turned to jelly right under Sora. Riku "Aww'd" and kissed his boyfriend. I could feel that warmth and safety radiating off of them and I remembered how Axel made me feel that way. Whenever I kissed Naminé, I didn't get lost in time; I counted how long it lasted. With Namine, I felt cold and rushed; Not warm and safe. "Anyway," Riku said after his little kiss with Sora, "You don't believe us?" I couldn't respond. My face was numb and my voice box was broken. Just like my heart. My nonexistent heart.

"Okay...?" Sora stood up and headed for the door, "This is a team effort. Me and Riku are the Roxas Experts. But in order for this to work, we needed two Axel Experts," He opened the door, revealing Demyx and Zexion standing patiently.

"Dude!!" Zexion slapped me upside the head. Goddamn... How many fucking times am I gonna get slapped!? "How could you do this to Axel!?"

"I... Uh..." I scuffled my feet and played silent.

Demyx walked up to me, "Don't worry... I'm not gonna hit you,"

I breathed a sigh of relief, "Good, because-" Then Demyx slapped me upside the head, "What the hell!? I thought you said you weren't gonna hit me!!"

He shrugged, "Couldn't resist," Then he slapped me again.

"What the-" I was cut short with another slap, "Stop!!"

He slapped me again, "That's what you get for hurting my best friend,"

"Hurt!? Please... I'll bet he's just fine," I winced for another oncoming slap, but Demyx headed to the entertainment center in my living room.

Zexion barked, "Oh really? He hasn't left his room ONCE since you dumped him!! He hasn't eaten in 4 fucking days!! And you're lucky he has a bathroom in his room!!"

I flushed. I didn't mean for that much trauma in his life, "Really...? H-He's like that?"

Another slap upside my head, this time, from both Sora and Riku. Demyx called from my stereo system, "Yes!! And he's only been listening to this song," He put a CD in the player and skipped a few tracks before turning up the volume. A low, even bass line came on, then a drum beat, followed by a guitar melody.

Marvin Gaye's familiar, enchanting song played through the speakers and my breathing stopped. _I Heard It Through The Grapevine. _One of my favorite songs. **[2]**

The song hurt; It clearly spoke of Axel's situation: I left him for someone who we both knew didn't love me. She just needed me for whatever crazy whim she felt needed to be fulfilled. Zexion sang, _"Between the two of us guys, you know I love you more..."_

Demyx slapped me [again] and sang out, _"Losin' you would end my life, you see. 'Cause you mean that much to me..."_

Riku crossed his arms and barely sang, _"Do plan to let me go? For the other guy you loved before?"_

Then I realized: They were singing the most important lines of the song that defined Axel so perfectly... Sora grabbed me and held me in a bear hug while singing, _"I heard it through the grapevine; Not much longer would you be mine... Oh, I heard it through the grapevine; Oh and I'm just about to lose my mind... Honey, honey; Yeah..."_

My eyes overflowed with tears and the song faded out. I fell to the floor, gasping and sobbing, a collection of tears puddling on the entryway wood floor. "A-Axel..." I barely whispered, only I could hear me, "A-Axel... I made a _huge _mistake... P-Please... Forgive me..." The warmth and fire in my chest that Axel gave me was burning out and I could feel death calling my name... It's taunting voice... Asking for lust and wrath... Never forgiveness or love... Death was slowly chanting for me... Sucking me in... Confusing my heart... The heart I swore I never had... The heart that Axel gave to me...

"Rox," Sora dipped down and took me in his arms, "Shhh... I'm sure he forgives you... In fact... I'm certain he forgives you..."

"W-What makes you think that!?" I choked, louder than I expected, "I ruined his life because I was fucking _sick and tired _of ruining mine... I... I left him for a liar who sucked me in with temptation and... Evil..."

Sora awkwardly nodded in agreement while I continued on, "I made the biggest mistake ever... And he'll never forgive me..."

"Don't be too sure on that," Demyx crouched to join me and Sora, "He told Rikku himself: He was never mad at you and he never will be. He wants you happy, whether you're with him or not... When you're happy... Truly happy... He will be too,"

"But he's depressed," I sniffled, only to be hit with another wave of tears.

"That's because," Zexion joined us on the floor, "You're depressed. Let's face it: Roxas, you're not happy. Axel was the only one to make you happy,"

Riku finally joined us, "Yeah, it's a chain reaction. You're happy, he is. You're not happy, he's not. It's science,"

"What about Naminé? I've been with her for 4 days. I can't just end it," I stuttered.

"Sure you can," Sora broke away and stood up, "Just three little words: We. Are. Over. Not too hard,"

"But do you know how hard those three words are?!" I yelled, frustrated.

Then I smelled it: Cinnamon and fabric softener. The warmth in my chest was unbearable and I squeezed my eyes shut. But that voice, that voice was like water. Smooth, cool, and refreshing. My eyes squeezed tighter, trying to put that voice out of my head. Then that hand caressed the spot between my shoulder blades, I peeked one eye open to see that ever so familiar red hear, "I know three words that are much harder to say,"

He took me in his arms and I breathed him in. I made the biggest mistake ever, causing him all the pain and suffering, yet he was the one who was calm, understanding, and forgiving. My voice was small, but had that shimmer of truth and true radiance, "I'm so sorry!! I never meant to hurt you... Well, I did... But then D-Demyx kept slapping me... and... Z-Zexion got all wise... and... then S-Sora sang... and... R-Riku explained that it was a chain reaction... And I'm so sorry!!" My tears were absorbed into his T-Shirt and he patiently listened to me ramble into his neck, sobbing after every word.

"I know," Axel murmured, hugging me closer.

"You did?" I was astonished. He officially knew everything.

He nodded and cradled me, "Well... not the Demyx slapping part... And Zexion is already wise... Sora singing? Didn't know that... And what chain reaction? Anyway... I knew you never meant it and that you were sorry,"

"H-How...?"

He laughed in his throat, then sang, "I heard it through the grapevine..." He kissed the top of my head, which lead me to tremble into him completely, "Besides, we had a deal... A promise, rather..."

"A promise?" I closed my eyes as he lulled me to sleep.

Then I felt his finger slip under my pants and boxers. Normally, I'd flip out and panic... But... Oh hell, you know the story, "This," I felt the tip of his finger dance over my hip, and I realized it was my tattoo. The tattoo that promised our stories together forever, intertwined and unbreakable.

"Oh," I slurred, in the Twilight Zone for sleep, "Axel?"

He carried me to my room. Demyx and Zexion went home and Sora and Riku crashed on the couches. When we were curled into my bed, he kissed the back of my neck, "Hmm?"

"What exactly was that Three-Word-Sentence that's so hard to say...?" Axel's presence gave me my warmth and heart back. And this time, I wasn't gonna let go.

"You mean to tell me you don't know?" He pretended to sound shocked. I shook my head and he laughed. His laugh was a song, a mix of pain but with the essence of glee, "Do you want to know?"

"Yes..." I begged, being woken up by the suspense.

"Well... Erm..." He trailed off.

"You can't say it?" I asked. How bad could this sentence be?

"Well," He explained, "It's only hard to say if you truly mean it... And I truly mean it..."

My heart pounded. What could it be!? "Just say it... Please..."

The midnight moon shone through my window and the air was cold, but Axel kept me warm. He sat up and I joined him. Those green, green eyes stared right into mine and I wanted to look away, but I couldn't. I didn't want to. They illuminated with their own fiery glow and passion. This is what I liked most about him: He meant everything he did, said, or planned. Axel leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to mine and I gasped him in, then smiled into the kiss. No tongue, no pushing, but it was sweet and meaningful. Speaking into my mouth, he whispered, "You want me to say it?" I nodded and closed the gap, kissing him gently. He broke away again and made deep eye contact with me. The moment was magical and the timing was perfect. Tears ran down my face, then I saw Axel was crying too.

"I love you,"

**A/N: I know... I wanted to kill you with suspense... But I couldn't wait to update... So here you go!! Another chapter a day later!! Anyway, cute ending right? I'm pretty sure Namine won't be too happy... So yeah ((:**

**Footnote Time~~~**

**[1]~ I just named off random names... Besides the first 3... They were actually in KH.**

**[2]~ Go YouTube this video NAO!! It's amazingly perfect!! It's "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" by Marvin Gaye. :DD**

**Anywhooo... School is tomorrow... No!!! Dammit... So I have laundry to do and I need to gather up my school supplies. Maybe eat lunch. At 3:34 in the afternoon. Mhm... That's how I roll.**

**Review, My Pretties!!**

**~~~Sam :33**


	13. Chapter 13

**Bahhh. I'll be honest: I feel like I rushed the last chapter. But like I said, Everything happens for a reason. Mwahaha!! So it's like an hour before my bedtime, I'm unshowered, I haven't studied for that math test tomorrow, and I have an English assignment due tomorrow. Oh, and stupid my US History homework crap is not complete. Well... That's commitment to you all ((:**

**Oh, and I figured out how to put that thingie abouve Namine's e. For example: Naminé :DD**

**Sam is so proud of herself!! So I shall start doing that from here on out... If I ever become non~layzee, I shall go back and fix the other ones. But for now... Fuck that.**

**One more thing: Thank You Maddie [LunaMaddie] for getting me hooked on Black Veil Brides :DD SAM POINTS!!**

Have you ever confused life with a dream?

I have.

* * *

The coffee shop was busy: grinders going off, the Wi-Fi section had the constant click of the keyboards, customers were coming and going through the door, and the workers were trying to remain calm under the huge swarm of bitchy weekend customers. Then, all noise seemed to halt when Naminé walked through the door, saw me, and sat across the small table in the corner of the store. "Hey Roxas," She smiled.

"Hey," I took in a deep breath and remembered Sora's orders: _dump her ass. _Easier said than done, "We need to talk,"

"Ooohhh..." She laughed, "Some heartfelt confession? A big revelation of a dark secret?"

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. Oh the irony of all this shit, "Something like that," I handed her the latté I ordered fer her already. I didn't want to extend this situation for reasons like ordering a drink that was gonna end up dumped on my head.

"Well," She happily accepted the drink and sipped nonchalantly, "Out with it," _You owe me $2.49 for that drink, bitch._

"Naminé," I sucked in my last breath, "We've been together 5 days - 2 years and 5 days in all- and I guess you could say it was fun..." It wasn't. Pretending to be happy, forced to please here, living my teenage years whipped... Not fun.

She quickly caught my drift, "Roxas? What are you trying to say?"

"Lemme ask you this first: Why did you move down here?" I was too curious to keep that question in.

Naminé put down her latté and said, "I told you before... I wanted you back. Plus my mom got a job here,"

"So there's no chance of you going back to Destiny Islands?"

"Not immediately," She shook her head, "Now, back to the first problem. What did you want to tell me?"

Great. There was no way out of this. "Naminé... I think we should break up..." I couldn't look at her in the eye. I know, I'm _such _a man...

"What!?" Her voice shrieked above the rest of the casual chatter in the small store.

I sank lower in my chair and gulped, "Naminé... It's for the best and-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa..." Her eyes narrowed and I suddenly feared my for my life. Even though she was my size [maybe smaller], she could seriously fuck someone up when she was pissed, "Roxas Strife... You _seriously _do not want to do this. We were meant to be... I mean... You were the first guy I loved..."

The fake sadness she acted caused my confidence to rise, "Dude, face it: We are _not _in love. Let me paint you a picture... Those two years we were together... You made me want to kill myself. It was great and I loved you... then I told you about my mom and dad and my fucked up situation. And you know what you did? Do you?" She opened her mouth with a challenged face, "Don't even speak. You used my own problems against me. And you slowly wore down my confidence and happiness. You made me form a shell around my heart. You actually made me feel like I was some drone with no heart that no one cared about. And guess what? I found someone else. Someone who listened to my problems and is trying to help me through this,"

Her anger never suppressed. Sure, she was surprised, but she still was raging mad, "And who would that be? Tell me Roxas. Who could possibly care about you? I'm the only one who does... And sure I had my evil moments and used you, but I-"

"Just shut up," I snapped, then rolled my eyes, "Trying to cover yourself and make yourself innocent and seem to be the only light in my life... You're wrong. And you didn't have 'evil moments'; You lived your life in evil, Namine. You used me numerous times. With the blackmail and threats and blind seduction... To get what _you _wanted. _My _feelings and _my _needs... Nothing to you. And when I finally walked away... You had to come crawling back, didn't you? No one else wanted you, is that it? It is, don't lie. Just get over yourself. Go find a real masochist that will bow down to your every whim, because I'm done," I stood up, proud that I faced the darkness in my life.

Naminé looked at me, almost hurt, but rage was her main emotion in her eyes, "You still never told me who you are leaving me for. Tell me, who could possibly be more of a catch than me, huh?"

I snorted, "Glad to see you've been working on your modesty. And why does it matter to you who I date and who I love? It's none of your damn business,"

"Is it Xion?" She groaned, "Are you serious? That little slutty thing? Come _on, _Roxas. Her?"

"No. Not her," And I glared at her, ignoring the onlookers of our intimate conversation, "And don't even call her a slut. Even though we didn't work out, she's still a friend. So back off of her. In case you _really, desperately _need to know... I'll give you a hint,"

"Okay? What is it?" She crossed her arms and legs.

I leaned down, inches from her face and smiled big, and kissed her on the lips really quick, "I'm gay," I turned on my heels and sauntered out of the door, a ticked-off and really confused Naminé still sitting in shock.

* * *

"You told her?" Sora asked from his perch on Riku's lap when I opened my front door.

"Everything," A dorky smile stretched across my proud face.

He jumped up and tackled me into a hug, "Good for you!! My little Roxy grew his balls!!"

My fist found its way to Sora's stomach, "Shut up," I pulled out my ringing phone and pressed it to my ear, "Hey Axel!!"

"_How'd it go?" _He asked.

"I did it!! I can officially be with you again!!" A fresh smile and a warm, giddy feeling formed in my heart when those words escaped my lips.

Axel laughed, _"That's amazing!! So you know how we could celebrate?"_

My eyebrow flickered, "Oh. How?"

"_Meet me at The Parlour at 8 o'clock sharp. Dress nicely. Got it-"_

"Yeah, yeah. I got it memorized," I laughed.

"_Okay, I'll see you then, Roxy,"_

"Mkay. See ya," I slammed my phone shut and beamed at an eavesdropping Sora and Riku, "I'm going on a date with Axel tonight!! A nice one, too!!" But as ecstatic as I was, I truly had no idea what to expect.

* * *

After a long afternoon awaiting a decent time to get ready, it was time. I towel dried my hair and dried off. Most of my scars were fading, hardly visible now [my most recent cuts were in my most inner thighs where my boxers were hiding them], so I could wear only boxers without any suspicion, "Sora!! What the fuck am I supposed to wear!?"

"Relax," He laughed, "I'm gay. I'm sure I could find you a good outfit,"

Riku groaned, "While you two be girls about clothes and hair and shit... I'm gonna wait for the Chinese food guy in the living room,"

"Chinese?" I asked while Sora dug through my dressers.

"Me and him are gonna hang with Demyx and Zexion tonight while you and Axel are on your date," He pulled out the wrinkled dress suit I was forced to wear to my grandma's funeral, "How about this?"

"Sora," I crossed my arms, "He said to dress nice. Not to dress like a dick. Find something else,"

"Dear god," He whined, "You're making this so hard!!"

"Find. Something. Else." I warned.

"Fine," He threw his selection across the room, "Anyway... They're coming over to hang out. I like them a lot. Especially Demyx,"

"He reminds me of you. Except less annoying but just as happy," I shook out my damp hair and ran a comb through it.

"How about this?" He offered me a plain T-Shirt.

"Not dressy enough!!" I threw it back at him.

"You know what? Dress yourself. I'm outta here," Sora got off my bed and stomped out of my room.

"Like I need you!! You're fired!!" I yelled after her slammed my door shut. Crap. I had nothing to wear... Dear God...

I yanked open a drawer and slipped on a pair of light skinny jeans and went to my closet. Flipping through shirts I forgot I had, I gave up. Nothing fancy, but still causal. Dammit.... Whatever... Defeated, I settled on a black, button-up dress shirt and looped a studded rainbow belt through my jeans. Mehh... rainbows are cool.

The shirt was unbuttoned down to my ribs and underneath, I had a plain white shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror on my door. Deciding that I looked too hard trying to dress nice, I shoved the sleeves up my arm and kept them bunched around my elbows [like I said: the scars were almost gone]. My now-dry-hair looked the same as always and I tied my Converse onto my feet. Oh yeah... I could dress up.

My nerves were killing me and the alarm clock said it was time to go. "Sora," I called as I made my way to the front door, "Gimme a ride,"

"Why?" He whined, not wanting to get up.

"Because Cloud's car is here and you have a license," I crossed my arms stubbornly.

"Fine," He stomped over to me and took the keys I swiped, "You owe me,"

I smiled satisfactorily, "No I don't,"

* * *

Sora kicked me out of the car and I sighed as I got closer to the Parlour's front door. Even though I knew Axel already liked me, it was still nerve wrecking since we weren't officially together. Yet. Sora drove off, leaving me to have no choice to face this. The door had a 'Closed' sign and I knocked on it.

Axel opened up and smiled when he saw me, "Glad you could make it,"

"Right," I smiled back at him, "So why are we all dressed up and in your brother's tattoo shop?"

"Geez, Ye of Little Faith, way to ruin the moment," He laughed and kissed me quickly on the forehead, "I just wanted you to meet me here. We're going somewhere else,"

"Okay...?" I was confused. And under dressed. Axel was standing tall in black skinny jeans - the first pair I've ever seen him in - and a white, baggy dress shirt too. Except, his was all buttoned up and he had a solid black tie hanging loosely from his neck. But he also had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Like my shoe selection, he wore more casual shoes, though his were checkerboard Vans. **[1]**

"C'mon," He directed me to Reno's car, "I know a place you'll like,"

I buckled my seatbelt and Axel revved the engine, then started down the street. I expected to head towards downtown where the restaurants and fancy shit were, but he was heading towards the woods on the outskirts of town.

"Wh- Where are we going?" I nervously asked. This was my first time over here. And since it was dark, it had that eerie horror movie vibe.

"My secret place," He never looked away from the dirt road, "Don't worry. Just trust me,"

"I- I do," I barely said audibly.

After 10 minutes of driving down the road, he stopped on the side of the road - in the middle of nowhere, trees were the only thing in sight - and cut the engine, "Here we are,"

"Where is that, exactly?" I followed him out of the car and I stood by him, facing endless trees and darkness.

"I told you: My secret place," He headed into the woods, then stopped and looked back at my frozen body, "You coming or what?"

"Y- Yeah..." Despite the fact I trusted him, I was scared. The sun was gone behind the trees and the cold, frosty autumn wind bit my revealing skin.

He walked back over to me and offered his hand, "C'mon... Let's go,"

I reached for it and intertwined my fingers with his, "Okay," His hands were toasty, despite the howling temperature, and he guided me blindly into the foreign wilderness.

With each step, the car grew smaller in the distance and I squeezed Axel's hand tighter. He laughed and kissed em softly, "Scared?" I nodded and his warm lips pressed against mine, "Don't be. I'm here,"

Finally, he stopped dead in his tracks and looked up, "Alright. We are now _officially _here,"

I looked around and guess what I saw. That's right... Nothing but trees, "Um-"

"Up there," He laughed, pointing to the sky, "There's my secret place," I looked up to see a twinkle of lights in the still-leafy trees. Axel headed to a ladder that lead up to the branches and he climbed up, signaling me to follow. Rather than get left behind, I quickly ascended the ladder. The closer we got, the brighter the lights grew. Finally, when we reached the top, I saw some sort of tree house. Axel climbed through the hole that lead inside and reached down to pull me up.

"Ta-Da!!" He helped me to my feet and proudly presented the small tree house, "Here we are!!"

"Wow," I looked around, "How'd you manage to do this?" Inside, there were Christmas lights hanging along the ceiling, plastic lawn table and chairs, pictures and posters were on the wooden walls, a battery-operated stereo was on a second table, mountains of CDs surrounded the stereo, and beanbags were piled in the corner. What was most amazing was either the fact that the Christmas lights were working or that there was a small, railed porch extending off the main house part.

"Well..." He sat me down in a chair and joined me in the other, "It's a long-ish story... When I was like 13 or 14, I found this place already built. I ran away from home for some reason and ended up in the woods. I saw it in the trees since it was day time out here and I climbed up to see that it was not used by anyone. Just an empty tree house. Everything was built already: The ladder, the actual house, and that porch-thing over there. Plus, it was in great condition. Nothing was squeaky or loose or dangerous," He stopped and waited for a response.

"Really? That's amazing how you found this place," I looked at the lights, "How are the lights working?"

"I don't even know," He answered with a cocky smile, "When I first came here, there was a light switch-" He pointed to the small switch by the archway to the porch, "-And all I had to do was flip it on and they've worked ever since. Whoever built this was really a genius,"

"Absolutely..." I breathed, still amazed by the tree house.

"I came up with this pulley system to get all the furniture and crap up here," He proudly stated, "And with Demyx's help, we turned this into our secret place. I haven't come by much, but Demyx always takes Zexion here,"

"So they know?"

"Yep. You, me, and them are the only ones who know," He smiled and got up to grab something from a box in the corner, "But I'll let you in on a secret,"

"And what is that?" I smiled and saw that Axel had a box of pizza and a bottle of Pepsi waiting up here.

He placed the food on the table and whispered in my ear, "This is where I had my first kiss. My first gay moment rather,"

"And who was it with?" Shivers ran down my spine and Axel shoved a slice of pepperoni pizza in his mouth.

"Demyx," He raised an eyebrow and laughed, "And I've been gay ever since,"

"Mmm..." I joined in the feast, "So is that supposed to make me jealous? That Demyx kissed my Axel?"

"Nah..." He took a drink from the bottle, "You're a better kisser, anyway,"

I froze. "Really? Me?"

He nodded, "Very much so," We finished eating and 3 slices later, I was done. Axel stood up and offered his hand again, "I wanna show you something," I got up and followed him to the porch and he showed me the view.

"Oh my," I covered my mouth. The skylight of the town was visible and you could see the glimmer of the sleepy town either ready to enjoy the Saturday night or settle in for bed. The moon was big over head and the occasional star twinkled over head peacefully, "Axel... It's beautiful,"

"I know," He sat on the rail and I stared at his UFO eyes. In the moonlight, they glowed with life and energy.

"Axel," I looked to the ground, "We're high up,"

"Obviously," Axel flashed a grin then swung his legs.

"But you're afraid of heights. Remember? The Ferris Wheel?" I crossed my arms and stared hard at his beautiful form, hidden in the moonlit shadows.

He snorted, "Oh... That... I don't need to worry about it. I gots mah Roxy here with me!!"

I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smile sheepishly with that one, "You're lying,"

Axel jumped back onto the porch and we stood there for a second, waiting for something to happen. He then leaned down and pushed a small strand of my blonde hair out of my eyes, "Oh no..." He whispered.

My heart sped up and I panicked, "W-What...?!"

"It's just-" He dramatically looked away and then returned to be inches -no... millimeters- from my face, "-I want to kiss you..."

Another eye roll washed over me, "Oh my God, you had me worried for a second," And with that, I closed the gap and pressed my lips to his. We fell to the floor and I rolled on top of him, then he asked for entrance... And well... Wait!! Why am I telling you this, you pervert!!

He pulled away and started, "Roxas... I lo-"

"Ah!" I covered his mouth, "Don't do something crazy,"

Axel pouted then we got off the floor, "Crazy how?"

"Oh you know," I flicked hair out of my eyes, "Something like jumping off this tree house-" I demonstrated by dangling over the rail too far, "-Or kissing me just the _right _way that makes me go _**crazy-**_" I kissed him in the crease in between his elegant jaw and lean neck, which caused him to shiver and gulp, "-Or you know... Something really crazy-" I pulled away from his tempting throat and waltzed over to the railing, sitting on it, "-Like I dunno... Telling me you love me. And meaning it. Because... Knowing me... You know I'd do something along the lines of... Believing it,"

He laughed and pulled me a hug, "Oh Roxas... Of course I mean it!! I love you from now all the away to when Hell is unleashed. Even then-" He pulled my chin up so I'd lock eyes with his, "-I'd love you. Nothing can change that. Ever. And don't let anyone -even _me_- tell you otherwise,"

I laughed at his sappiness, "You know, Axel..."

"Yes, Love of My Life?" He gave me a squeeze and a chuckle to add to my new title.

"Maybe -just maybe- I'd come to fall in love with you, too..." My voice trailed off and I clutched him closer, afraid he might go away again.

"Oh really," He grinned, "How long we talking? A year, a month, a day? Will next Tuesday work?"

My voice was the same, trembling but confident with each syllable out of my mouth, "Actually... Something more convenient like... Now?"

A gulp, and a sniffle, then, "Now will work," My head rested against his chest and we danced in the moonlight -no music, no atmosphere, no nothing- just each other. Oh, and Axel's horrible sense of rhythm.

* * *

**Naminé's POV**

How dare he dump me!! I have never, ever been dumped in my life... Besides the first time... A month before he moved here. And obviously... I'll never be able to get him back. So what am I supposed to do?

"Kairi, please pick up," I paced the floor of my room, still filled with unpacked boxes.

"_Namin__é__!!__" _I heard a chatter of girls babbling excitedly in the background, _"Hey girl!! How's the new city? We miss you!! Actually, we just got back from practice; Say 'Hi', girls!!" _A chorus of greetings and happy messages came through the speaker of my phone.

"Kai," I grumbled and flopped on my bed, "I need help. Go somewhere private,"

I heard the noise silence and Kairi's voice was actually clear, _"What's up? How'd it go with Roxas?"_

"Bad. He dumped me earlier... And I need... Vengeance," She knew how I got when I was pissed.

"_Namin__é__,__" _She groaned, _"Enough with the 'Vengeance' thing. You can't help it. All you can do is move on,"_

"No, listen," I argued, "I don't wanna get him back... I want to crush him for thinking he could beat me,"

"_Beat? What the fuck are you talking about? Just because he wanted to move on..." _She trailed off in frustration.

"Kairi Miller," I upped my Warning Voice, "You _are _my best friend, right?"

Her voice sunk, giving up. I win. Again. _"Yes,"_

"And your dad - the powerful and wealthy, yet shady, Vincent Valentine - has very good connections with... men, correct?"

She took her time to answer, _"...Depends what kind of men we're talking. Drugs and illegal goods? Yes. Henchmen? Yes. Prostitution and sex? Nope,"_

I smiled, satisfied. I knew how to make the right friends, "That will work. All I need are to revive old drug dealers. Maybe a few henchmen,"

"_Naminé," _Her voice grew scared, _"Please tell me you're not gonna hurt Roxas..."_

"Chill, Baby," I was easily changed from evil schemer to sweet angel, "I'm not gonna hurt Roxas,"

But I was gonna hurt someone Roxas cared more about than even himself...

Axel.

**A/N: Ho. Ho. Fucking ho. Yeah. This is another cliff hanger chapter. I wanted to show the strong bond that Axel and Roxas have, which Naminé is really up against. So whaddya think? I needed a jealous bitch with a best friend that had a scary dad.**

**Spoiler: Next chapter is gonna explore Kairi and Vincent Valentine and their past. And... Shut up. I am the hugest Vincent Valentine fan ever... So I'm gonna try my hardest to not make him the direct bad guy. Plus, Naminé is gonna begin Operation Be A Bitch.**

**Footnote Time~~~**

**[1]~ For Axel, Roxas, and Demyx's clothes, I seriously just put what I wear on a day~to~day basis. So any clothing description for them? That's all my clothes. Hooo yeahh!! I can dress ((:**

**I have crap to get done, so Read, Review, Worship~~~ :DD**

**~~~Sam**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hoookayyy... I am ready to write this chapter ((; The drama and unrealistic events about to come up are sooo addicting!! And I am so all over the place, trying to fill gaps so I can move on, so bear with me. Kthx~**

**Guess what!! Sam got her layzee ass to fix all the typos, Naminé E's, and fucking LAST NAME MIX~UPS!! Hoorahh!!! :DD So if you find any other mess ups, PLEASE LET ME FUCKING KNOW!! I _need _to know!! Okay? Okay.**

**Last names:**

**Aerith Hayes is now Aerith Gainsborough**

**Roxas and Cloud Smith/Cloud are now Roxas and Cloud Strife**

**Naminé Strife is now Naminé Holt**

**Anyway, Sigh... Sam is a pervert. Like, a drool~y, nosebleed~y, stalker~y Fangirl Pervert. Go to Kurosora1984's profile [on FanFic] and read her stuff. Ohmaigawd... It's so yummy!! Gay Sex FTW!! Like, droolmania right there. Warning: Lemon~scented Smutt!! Oh, and foul language. May I make a suggestion? Read "Shy Spy" first. Like, holy cow!! It;s so orgasmic!! By the way, She's an English teacher... and I wish she was MY teacher. Oh noes... Angsty Sam is coming out. Damn Mrs. Duncan... Assigning that stupid writing shit.**

**Enough advertisement... Onward with said addicting chapter!!**

**By the way, if you need some help picturing Naminé's... true persona and motives... I'm slightly modeling her after Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender.... Hahah mah favertyee character!! Technically, Mai and Tai Lee are... But I don;t cares~~~ **

*** * ***

**Naminé's POV**

One way to never worry is to keep calm and keep your eyes on the prize. I was calm -thank you, yoga- and my eyes were locked on the prize: Shattering Roxas.

Now, you may ask why such a pretty girl spends most of her time trying to plot out this scheme to destroy her ex-boyfriend's life instead of finding a new boyfriend or whatever. But it's just not about being single. _I _am _always _in control for _everything. _That will never ever change. Not once. Then, Roxas gets all high and mighty -telling _me_ what's what- and runs of, telling me he's gay. And I'm not quite sure who that bastard is.

My deepest hunch is that redheaded guy... Axel. He said they were close friends and why not? Axel, to be blunt, was a fucking god – appearance wise. So Roxas didn't pick someone _that _bad over me. But what still really gets me is the fact he can prance all the way up and just... Stand up for himself all of a sudden. Call it power hungry... Controlling... Whatever. Going 2 years as the Dominant one in our relationship, I wasn't ready to call it quits.

And he's gonna suffer for it. Thanks to Mr. Vincent Valentine.

* * *

**Roxas's POV**

That date with Axel was amazing. Sure, nothing got physical [you pervert], but I wasn't ready for that step quite yet... For now. We sucked face for an hour straight, then Axel drove us to his house where we immediately crashed. Around noon, I said goodbye and made my way home. Sora and Riku were eating leftover Chinese while Demyx and Zexion were playing Wii. I quickly changed out of my "dressy" clothes and joined my guests in a hoodie and pajama pants.

"Get this," Sora looked up from the newspaper and read out loud, "'Destiny Islands Native, as well as the Millionaire and Entrepreneur, Vincent Valentine, makes a charitable donation to the Cancer Research Institution. After alleged crimes -which are still awaiting trial- involving illegal drugs, violent acts of homicide and assault, and numerous degrees of fraud, it is nice to see that Valentine has been able to take time to give back to the community. The Final Fantasy owner stated, 'It's for the children. Many are going to be in great suffering this upcoming Christmas. I'm just wishing to put a smile on each of their faces; But more importantly, a smile in their hearts.''"

Sora showed us the front page cover of a pale man with long black hair staring almost sadistically into the camera. His eyes were cold and so dark, they almost shimmered a faint blood red. His mouth was pursed into a thin line, but he was posing with a handful of children in a hospital. "So who exactly is Vincent Valentine?" Demyx asked.

Riku rolled his eyes, "He's a millionaire, most likely famous for his casino/hotel, Final Fantasy. It's quite... R-rated for a hotel, but the guy has a much deeper, violent history,"

"Plus," Sora added, "He's Kairi's dad,"

I looked at him, "Whoa, as in Kairi Miller? I knew she was rich and all... but really? _The _Vincent Valentine is her dad?"

Riku nodded, "Sadly. Anyway, Valentine has deep, deep, deep connections with the inner drug wars and trafficking. Rumor has it that he's the boss of the dealers in the Destiny Islands branch of Drug Trafficking, which happens to be the biggest branch in the world.

"And the whole fraud thing? That was because when he was going slightly bankrupt, so he went under the false alias, Jonathan Miller, to regain control as boss for the drugs. He wrote off fake checks and scammed many people through his casino.

"Once he was back in control, he erased all evidence of Jonathan Miller and started to create henchmen to rid of anyone who stood in his way or to bring Jonathan Miller to justice. He never technically got his hands dirty, but he did pay others to. And there has been speculation of his connections to the sex slave trade and underage prostitution. Which I can tall you right now is straight-up false,"

We all looked at him in awe, "Riku, how do you possibly know so much?"

"Because A) I dated his daughter. And B) I watch the History Channel from time to time,"

Sora pouted, "You dated Kairi?"

"For like a day and a half. So not worth it..." He stretched across the floor and covered his face, "And I think you put out _sooo much more,_"

* * *

**Kairi's POV**

All I am going to say is that it's hard.

It's hard to be Naminé's best friend. She is so controlling and manipulative and evil and unforgiving... And unlike Roxas... I can't run away from her. Because she has the video.

We're all human and we all make mistakes... But I screwed up. Really badly. See, at a house party when I was 15, there was beer. And so I was curious and 20 drinks too many, alternating between puking and table dancing. It was _horrible. _No one respected me anymore and my life was miserable; Then to make matters worse, I was lured into a room with a guy in my class and we kinda... Screwed each other.

Not all that bad? Oh, except he was secretly filming it -the WHOLE thing- and when I found out, turns out he sold it!! And wanna take a guess at who bought it? Yes, Naminé was the lucky winner. She blackmails me with it: If I don't use my dad's power to help her with whatever she has in mind, it gets shown to _everyone _on the internet, in school, whoever really wants to see Prime Time Kairi.

I never really minded being her little lackey for this whole thing. She would occasionally ask me for weed or money or something. And I could handle that. But what I can't handle is that she is using me to do something to Roxas. And let's face it: I never knew the kid all that well and I couldn't give a fuck to actually get to know him... But it's hard trying to get over the constant guilt that is eating me alive. If she used my dad's power _just right, _she could end up killing him.

"So what exactly are you having in mind?" I met Naminé for lunch in a small town halfway between Twilight Town and Destiny Islands.

She gazed at the menu, "Hmm... First... That Axel guy is _sooo _tempting... But that wouldn't end so well. Though, I _could_ go for it... That would be so much fun." Her eyes wandered off to imagine the dirty details of the plan I wanted _nothing _to do with.

"Kairi," She looked at me, "How far back could your dad get ahold of old dealers?"

"What do you mean?" I took a sip of my iced tea.

"I mean..." She smirked, "Let's say I have a certain guy... Maybe two... That I want to get in contact with. Just in case they're not on the job anymore, how many years back do the files of names and information that your dad has go?"

"Well..." I fidgeted, "It depends. Some of the better dealers, he's saved them since he was first starting out. All the not-so-good dealers' files he trashed instantly. If you want an accurate answer... I need names," I felt so filthy for playing her little games.

She sat in silence before her cruel, beautiful mouth spoke, "I'm pretty sure... The names are Xemnas and Saïx,"

"I'm not quite sure," She shot me a look and I swallowed, "But I'll be willing to poke my nose around my dad's office,"

"Good answer," She smiled and signaled a waiter to take our orders.

* * *

Daddy's golden office was a goldmine of gold in our solid gold mansion. Dad's main office in the right wing of the mansion was where he had all the nice furniture and met with clients and such. But in the very back, almost like a warehouse, he had rows and rows of file cabinets and shelves. "Saïx and Xemnas..." My finger traced along the dusty envelopes in a rusty cabinet, "Sarah... Sean... Sandy... Ahh... Saïx. Here we go," I pulled out a thick file and weaved out of the 'S' section.

"Okay..." I sighed, "How about 'X'?" I walked down the narrow aisles and my eyes watched out for Xemnas's name, "Maybe it's in a book instead of a file?" I stacked boxes and climbed on top to reach the top shelf. With one last search, I came across the dusty, leather book appropriately titled: Xemnas. "Bingo,"

I heard footsteps and voices approaching and I quickly ducked into the hallway with both files tucked close to my chest. I slammed my bedroom door behind me and collapsed on my bed. My eyes stared hard at the old, worn papers sitting in my lap, patiently waiting. My first instinct, along with my direct orders, was to call Naminé as soon as I found anything.

But I needed to know what I was handing over. I am a slut. I am a coward. But I am not gonna let someone hurt -maybe even kill- someone innocent because Naminé felt like it.

My fingers trembled as I opened the document for Saïx. In my father's quick, sloppy handwriting, I read each word:

_Saïx... Loyal... Strong... Dangerous._

_Police Records: On trial for manslaughter. Founded guilty, but went into hiding as Dean Hamilton. Still under search by police. I plan to fire him. He's much too sloppy and wanted for a henchman, but way too crazy to operate under my drug wing. Police caught him in the act of brutally beating and abusing two girls, possibly rape, a few days ago (Today's date: 6/17). Girls are suspected to be ages 11 and 13. Definitely getting fired. Once again... He has run away from the police and is in hiding._

My throat tightened. A picture of a man with blue hair and a giant 'X' across his face stared hard and cold into the camera - a mugshot, I believe. How could a person hurt and rape children who don't know better? So young? And Naminé wanted contact with this monster...

After the notes from my dad, there were endless records of all the sales and profits he's made, police records, and stats like his age, weight, and whatever.

I slowly opened Xemnas's file and my eyes flickered across each line, reading everything the file had to say:

_Xemnas... Big... Scary... **VERY DANGEROUS**_

_Xemnas was a phenomenal seller, good at bringing people back and getting high prices. Very good. Recently accused of rape, homicide, and battery charges. Very believable... Is he worth firing? The police have given me his records and he has been sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole. 4 separate people/families have charged him of rape and molest; charged with homicide with 1 of my henchmen; Endless evidence of battery. Torturous... really. To be honest... he is the scariest man I have ever came across. He's fired._

My mouth dropped. My dad -the fearless, infamous Vincent Valentine- was admitting for the first time that he is actually scared of some douche he hired. And by the pictures and the records of the evidence against Xemnas at the trial, he was messy and brutal. Seriously, what the fuck was Naminé planning with all this shit!?

She could really hurt Roxas with all this... No... She was going to kill him!!

I neatly packaged up all the papers and ran to my car, starting the engine and driving off. My grip was tight on the steering wheel and I headed down for the beach. Luckily, the bonfire pit was empty when I parked, and I chucked the folders in the old ashes. Maybe I was crazy... Maybe the guilt was catching up with me... I lit a match I found in my purse and dropped it on top of the files. The papers ignited and I watched any chance of Naminé's plan to succeed burn to nothing.

_I fly like paper; Get high like planes. If you catch me at the border, I got visas in my name- _"Hello?" I answered my phone.

"_Hey!!"_ Speak of the devil. It was her, _"Did you find anything?"_

Instead of being scared or nervous for lying, I evenly spoke, "Nope. Sorry... But I'm looking really hard. I might even directly ask Daddy... You know, if you want me to,"

"_That's a good idea... Go do that. But be subtle," _I bagged her. She fell for it.

I agreed and pressed the phone to my chest, trying to muffle the sounds, "Daddy," I called to the empty beach, "Have you ever heard of a Xemnas or Saïx?" I waited a few moments before speaking, "Oh, really? I was just flipping through some old newspaper articles for a school project. And I came across their cases and I thought the names rang a bell," I waited, "Mhm.... Yeah... Okay... No... Alright. Thanks, I love you!!"

"Did you hear any of that?" I pressed my phone to my ear again.

"_No... What happened!? What'd he say!?" _Naminé sounded reasonably genuine that she didn't know I was faking.

"He said that they were old clients before his hotel business," I explained, "And that they never met up to expectation... So he had them fired. He got rid of the files and stuff, y'know? He just wanted to start over,"

"_Oh..." _She was silent for a moment, _"So there's nothing? No records?"_

"Nope," I sounded disappointed, "Sorry... You mad?"

"_No, no... Don't worry. I'll just come up with a different solution. I'm pretty sure I have an idea,"_ She reassured.

"Oh really?" I tried not to sound too worried, "What is that?"

"_Cloud is ignorant," _She explained and I could tell she had a smile on her face, _"And he's not tolerant of gays,"_

* * *

**Roxas's POV**

Cloud was never around and it got me wondering what lie he was thinking up next. Maybe I was adopted? Or how he's actually my brother? Perhaps I'm really a girl? Dear God...

"So I'll see you at school," I leaned to the driver's seat and kissed Axel's waiting cheek, "And I'll call you tonight?"

"Sounds sexy," He answered and I climbed out of the car and onto my driveway, "Bye Roxy,"

"Love ya," I called as I worked my way up the steps to my door.

"Love ya more," He smiled and pulled away, and I stepped into the dark living room.

"Dad?" I called out to the empty kitchen, "You home?"

A light flickered on and there was Cloud, sitting in his Lazyboy chair, looking stiff and strict, "Is there something you wish to tell me?"

"Nope," I started to walk away.

"Get your ass back over here," He commanded. Here we go... Righteous, lying Cloud.

"Why?" I hissed, annoyed, "So you can pretend to be a good parent? Or lie to me for..." I exaggerated by counting my fingers, "... 6 years?"

"That has nothing to do with it," He crossed his arms, "Anyway... I talked to a certain someone today,"

"And who was that?" I stamped my foot and stared at him with a bored, "Kill-Me" look.

"I don't know... Who did you tell that you were _gay!?_" He was red and almost to the point of yelling. I clenched at those words. How the fuck am I supposed to be with Axel if Cloud knows...!?

"W-Where did you hear that!?" I panicked, "W-Who fucking told you!?"

"I believe that's none of your damn business," He glared at me and I glared right on back.

"I believe it is too my damn fucking business!! Since it... I don't know... Concerns me!!" I was yelling and I could feel the rage boil under my skin, pulsating through my veins."

"You wanna know?!" He stood up and marched straight up to me, "If I tell you, then you tell me who you're gay with!! So I can kill his homo ass, too!!"

"Why the fuck is this such a big deal!? This doesn't affect you or hurt you!! So leave me alone and we'll both live out the rest of my legal-minor-life pretending we actually like each other!!"

"What makes you think I don't like you!?"

I let out a bitter snort, "Umm... For one..." I held out a finger, "You are about ready to kill me because I'm gay. Two, you never express it. Ever. And three? Don't even get me started,"

"No," He argued, laced with cold sarcasm, "Go ahead. Speak your mind,"

"Alright. You want me to speak my mind?! Okay!! Remember my last day of 5th grade? Of course you don't. Anyway... It goes something like this: Mommy and Daddy are arguing and wittle Roxy-Doodle overhears said argument. Daddy says certain things. Perhaps along the lines of 'Go let the 11-year-old fetch your drugs, you worthless tramp.' Or how about, 'He's good for nothing except being a fuck toy to help keep his mom alive and happy!!' Ring any bells, Daddy? Huh?" I was screaming and I could feel tears threatening to spill over.

Cloud swallowed, "Look, I do what I do because I-"

"Just shut up," I turned and walked away, flaming, "Once you accept this fucking situation for what is, then we'll talk,"

I stomped out of the living room and into my room, flopping on my bed and screaming into my pillow. I missed my mom... She'd love me. Even if I was gay. But who the _fuck _told him? I have been extremely careful to keep the snogging away from my house... And Axel hardly is over here. We're always at his house, The Parlour, or school...

Did Sora tell? Zexion? No... All of them are gay, too... Who did I tell that-... Damn. It.

Naminé.

_Crap!! I knew if I told her... Shit... Well, what now?_ My estimated guess was that I had about a day and a half before Cloud would stop being denial-ish and face this. I was wrong. A steady knock came on my door, "Roxas,"

"What the fuck do you want?" I hollered into my pillow.

"Get out here. We need to talk,"

Against my conscience, I got up and met Cloud at my door, "Well...? Talk,"

"C'mon," He directed me to the couches, "Sit,"

My butt settled into the cushions and I crossed my arms, "Alright. What do you want?"

"Look..." He sighed and looked down, "...About you being gay..."

"And? It's _my _lifestyle choice. Not yours,"

"I know..." He sorta raised his head, "And that's... fine. But I'll be brutally honest... I can't accept you as a gay, though. It's too..."

"Mom would've," I interrupted flatly, "She would've loved me regardless. Now if you don't mind, I must go," My feet picked me up and carried me past the hallway to my bedroom again where I died into a dreamless, antagonizing sleep.

* * *

Morning came a little too soon and when I emerged from my cave, I saw that Cloud was not home. _Good, _I hissed in my head. I can't believe he doesn't want his own son just because he's gay. Wait... He didn't even want me when I was straight. _Oh God, my life is a wreck..._

"Mom," I wept under my shattered breath, "What the fuck do I do now...?"

_**Crash!!**_

My stomach flopped from the loud crash from the other room – Cloud's room. Hesitantly, I scurried to the source and pressed my ear to the door. No one seemed to be in there... So I twisted the knob and peered into the room, only to find an empty bedroom; A box that seemed to fall off the top of an unstable shelf was scattered on the floor. I slowly stepped towards the pale, yellow envelope that had my name printed in cursive: _My Dear Roxas..._

"What's this-" I picked up the envelope, decorated in flowers, and slowly opened it. A piece of paper was folded neatly and I cautiously read my mom's handwriting:

_Decisions are incredibly important things! Good decisions will come back to bless you. Bad decisions can come back to haunt you. That's why it's so important that you take the time to choose wisely..._

_Choose to do the things that will reflect well... On your ability, your tomorrows, your smiles, your dreams, and yourself. You are such a wonder. You're the only one exactly like you! I want you to take care of that rare and remarkable soul._

_I want you to know that there is someone who will thank you for doing the things you do now with foresight and wisdom and respect._

_It's the person you will someday be._

_You have a chance to make that person so thankful and proud. All you have to do is remember one of the lessons I learned when I made a similar journey. It's pretty simple, really, just these nine little words:_

"_Each time you come to a crossroads... Choose wisely." - Douglas Pagels_

_You have your whole life ahead of you, and I want it to be a wonderful one._

_Now... I know you may be reading this after I have killed myself. But I really, truly need you to understand that me killing myself is selfish and stupid, and you're looking at me as a coward. Perhaps I am. Actually... Indeed I am. Drugs controlled my life and I put you in the middle of that. Which is to this day, the worst thing I could've done as a mother... A person... A human. Please just understand that I did it for reasons that _DO NOT _include you. My suicide is a problem I hope you won't spend any time feeling guilty over. _

_Yes, I completely understand that Cloud is a lot to handle... But I was young when I had you... And he made it seem like he was the only one I had... Which was true. But then, recently, I found out I had one person watching out for me... You. You may not realize it... But you've helped me grow up. I know, it may not be much... But you mean the world to be and imagine: I'd be much worse without you._

_You're only 17 when I'm writing this, and in a year, you'll be graduating and moving on with your life. I remember when you were young, you'd write stories and take pictures to go with them. But what really caught my eye was your ability to speak the truth- despite how much it really hurt. You accepted it for what it was. You were so smart, too! With your advanced vocabulary, nearly-flawless mechanics, and pretty moving story topics, I knew you could grow up to be an amazing journalist._

_Maybe I'll be able to look down from heaven and see you -my baby- as a happy and successful young man. No... I know for sure that I will see that. And yes... I am your mother, so I knew you were hiding it from the start... I know you are gay._

_Now... Gay is a little strong. How about bisexual? I know your dad is a homophobe,as well as a liar, a manipulator, and someone you shouldn't have as a father. Which is why I came up with a solution..._

_Like I said earlier... decisions are very important, so think long and hard about this one... But my brother - Your Uncle Luxord - Is available at any time for you if you have any troubles at all. Please get in contact with him if your dad is too much to handle._

_It's time for me to go now... I really love you and I am certain I will miss you undoubtedly. Think what's best for you and stick with it. And all I have have left to give you are two quotes from one of my heros, Janice Joplin._

"_You got to get it while you can."_

_and_

"_Freedom's just another word for you got nothing left to lose."_

_I love you Roxas, and I will see you later,_

_Mommy_

Tears were streaming out of my eyes and I felt cold. Why was I seeing this for the first time in my life!? Why the fuck was Cloud hiding something that could change my life!? I looked down at my bare arms and saw the faint scars painted on my skin.

Pale. Ugly. Ridiculous. Scars.

I felt pitiful - the worst feeling on the planet - and dirty. I felt that no matter how many showers I would take, no matter how many bars of soap were used, no matter how much bleach I drank... I was dirty. And I was done.

The duffel bag on my closet shelf was empty and I began piling every last shirt, sock, pair of pants, shoe, and whatever other clothes I had in it. Somehow, everything managed to fit and I was able to zip it up. My schoolbag was waiting by the duffel bag, and I filled another backpack with any last minute crap I wanted to keep. My wallet, my iPod, my cigarettes, my lighter, my phone charger... All of it was tossed in the backpack.

I took my cheap cell phone and pressed it to my ear, "Axel, hi!!" I wiped my tears away, "Can you get over here as soon as you can? Bring Reno's car." He said he was on his way, "Okay, thank you so much!! I'll explain it all later," I snapped the phone shut and tore out a piece of paper and grabbed a pen.

Within minutes, Axel was knocking on my door, "Hey!!" I greeted him with a kiss and a giant hug, smelling his cinnamon and fabric softener.

"Whoa there," He laughed and I soaked in each vibration in his chest, "What's gotten into you?"

I looked up at his comfortingly green eyes and reached up on my tiptoes to press my lips to kiss again, "I can't do this anymore. I have to leave my dad,"

He stepped back and looked at me hard, "And you're positive about this?"

"It's the second most important decision in my life," I explained, "And I'm positive,"

"Second?" He raised an eyebrow and studied my duffel bag and backpacks, "What's the first?"

I smiled and flushed a rosy pink, "Being with you for the rest of my life,"

"Aww..." He picked me up and hugged me, "I love you, Roxy. But why all the rush all of a sudden?"

"He found out I was gay," I quickly filled him in, "And plus all that he's done in the past, y'know?"

"Right," He agreed, helping me carry my stuff to Reno's car.

"And," I added when we were back in the kitchen, "I talked to my mom today... She helped me through this..."

He looked quizzical, "Your mom? How?"

I pulled the letter out of my pocket and and tossed it to him, "Cloud hid this from me,"

Axel read over it while I wrote something on the piece of paper I grabbed. "Oh my God," He finally looked up, "She wrote this?"

I nodded, "And I found it in Cloud's room. So he's been hiding it from me,"

"Holy shit," He said after a small silence, "Will you be okay?"

"Yep," I shrugged, "I'm gonna get in contact with Uncle Luxord. See what he can do. See if I can emancipate Cloud or something,"

"And we can be together forever," He stood up and swallowed me in his arms, "Finally,"

"No..." I pulled away, "We're already going to be together forever. This is just gonna make it easier. Much easier," I smiled and rejoined him in the hug.

"So shall we get going? I wanna stop for lunch," He rubbed his thin, toned, beautiful stomach, "My belly's a-rumblin',"

"Mkay," I placed the piece of paper on the coffee table and Axel read it, then a smile lingered on his lips.

In my serial killer writing, I boldly said goodbye: _Up yours, Cloud._

**A/N: :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D**

**I liked the ending, honestly. But it's yurrr opinion that truly matters. Other than the last line and Tifa's note, I really hate this chapter. It all seemed rushed and icky and too much information for one measly chapter. Yahhhrrrggg.**

**And incase yurrr wondering, Tifa offed herself when Roxas was 17. When she died, Cloud panicked and moved to Twilight Town. So yeahh.... And I picture Roxas as a journalist. He's way too opinionated to not be one. WAITTT!! I need your input!!**

**Okayy... so I have a future for each character.. relatively... But Axel is harder to crack.**

**Demyx~ Music. No shit,.**

**Zexion~ Neurology or medical doctor~y stuff. No shit,. Again.**

**Roxas~ Journalism. Yadda yadda...**

**Sora~ Soccer scholarship. He needs to marry a Spice girl and launch his own perfume line, too/ [David Beckham reference]**

**Riku~ Something like... Sports [football] or he can be the bum and work at Toys 'R Us instead of college. Any ideas Ideas? I'm thinking more along the lines of art. Hardcore art. Why not?**

**And finally Axel. Dear lawwdyyy... I am utterly confused for him. Business management? Teaching? For the love of Yuffie, please give me ideas!! And male modeling, stripping, street~walking, even Geek Squad have been tried. None of them work. Guhh... Please give me a fucking idea and I shall credit you if I like it~~~ ((:**

**I am fresh out of clothing and food... And I need to go to WalMart for a posterboard for a presentation in language arts. So shit on me, I have chores to do. Read, review, enjoiii.... Okay? Roger Doger. :33**

**P.S. See any typos or contradictions in my story? Well... tell me about them so I can fix them. Oh, and I have an idea for two brand new stories in my head. AkuRoku, of course ((: But which one should I go through on? Here are the summaries I would publish with the story.**

**Story A) That One Summer: Everything from the tropical breeze to the white, sandy beaches... Everything was too perfect that one summer. And I didn't deserve it. But did I deserve that one artsy redhead that caught my eye? _[A/N: Roxas's POV. Again. Mainly about Roxas's unwanted summer on a beautiful island. And guess hwwat? Yep... Axel likes Roxas in this one. But does Roxas like him? I want this one because I'm craving summer and sand and sunshine. And sleeping in.]_**

**Story B) 'Til Death Do Us Part: Everyone thinks you're dead – that I'm crazy. But I know you're out there; I will find you. And I will fucking kill whoever took you. _[A/N: Axel's POV. Roxas gets kidnapped, and after 2 years with nothing... Axel goes on an angsty killing spree to find his little blonde loverrrr~~ Angst? Hooo yes. I want this one because school is driving me mental and _WRMA _is getting a tad bit too sadistic...]_**

**Okay. So can I like, have yurrr opinion please? It would mean so much to me~~ ((: And holy shiznet. This Author's Note is getting a tad bit too long. So I am going to wrap it up and go eat tater tots and watch iCarly. Because I can, so leave me alone. SEDDIE FTW!!!~**

**Later Tater~~**

**Sammmm :33**


	15. Chapter 15

**Oh mai gawd. PLZ FUCK ME WITH SOMETHING HARD AND SANDPAPER-Y.**

**I really owe it to you all for being dead for the longest time, I really do. Who's ready for excuses?**

**A) I had this Chapter ready LAST WEEK. Then my fucking computer decided to catch the Trojans, so I had to wipe the entire FUCKING THING. D8 Which means, I had to rewrite this entire goddamn story. Boo.**

**B) Writers' Block is an evil bastard who likes to see Sam suffer. I had nothing to inspire this until I made myself a bowl of ice cream and went to a party. I'm dead serious.**

**C) No time. I've been sneaking in a paragraph at a time for the longest. Because life sucks and insists that I have no time to myself.**

**Okay. That concludes my bitching. For now. Anyway, I haven't a clue where to take the entire story. Not this chapter, but the entire thing. Sad news, my loves... When Roxas met Axel is coming to an end. I'm going to wrap up the loose ends and lay this story to bed. It had a good run, but I'm getting sick of angst. So only expect two or three chapters left.**

**BUT BUT BUT **

**I'm using this chapter as a setup for... a SEQUAL!! :33**

**So read on and see what I have in store for the next leg in this race. **

Everyone was sleeping all through the house. Not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse.

* * *

Do you know how hard it is to sleep when you're scared shitless? Yes, it's really pretty fucking hard. I had to worry about college acceptance [I may be a slacker, but I want some sort of future] and high school exit exams... All my 25 units were not filled – I had like... 1½ credits I needed to fill up. I also had Naminé and to make sure she didn't ruin any other part of my life. Plus, I had Cloud... He could get the police to drag my sorry butt back home at any second for running away... And not to mention Uncle Luxord... Mom said that he would take me in if Cloud was too much... But look at me... I'm living proof that people can change.

Then we have Axel.

What if he realized I was nothing? Why did he still want _me _out of all people? Look at Sora and Riku – Sora's the fun one and Riku's the level-headed one. Look at Demyx and Zexion – Demyx is a musical genius and completely the bubbly one and Zexion is plain and simply a genius. They have stuff to offer each other... What is Axel getting from me? Blonde hair and big blue eyes? That's _sooo _something worth while – A pretty face. God, I feel like such a whore.

I turned over to face Axel's sleeping form and to just simply watch him in his effortless amazingness. Every crease, every line, every stretch of skin – I memorized it all and watched his fluttering eyes and listened to his eased breathing. The dark moon shone through his blinds and his milky face was set ablaze with his almost pale skin. I traced my finger gently across the bridge of his nose and down to his soft pink lips. He naturally radiated warmth, and I burrowed deeper into his bare chest. Since this whole running away thing was last minute, we both just crashed on his bed. Due to the lack of room, I was practically laying on top of him. But who am I to complain, really?

My eyes watered and I imagined the cold iciness I felt when me and Axel were separated for those long, painful days... 4 days in all... I couldn't stop thinking about it. So I flopped over to face his sleeping form and I soaked in everything about him. His milky skin stretched for miles under the ominous glow of the moon. His eyes were fluttered shut and his breathing was steady and reassuring. I traced the tip of my finger along the straight bridge of his nose and brushed against his supple neck and jawline. Every inch. Every crease. Every stir. I officially had it all memorized. His soft, pink lips were warm against mine as I craned up to kiss him. He tasted like mouthwash and Axel. Delicious.

"Please don't ever leave me," I whispered against him before nuzzling back into his body.

A deep sigh and, "Never have. Never, ever will,"

"I love you, Axel. More than you know," I closed my eyes as he traced circles and lines in between my shoulder blades.

"Nahhh," He laughed under his breath, "I think I have a pretty good idea,"

* * *

"_If you like pi__ñ__a coladas and getting caught in the rain,_" Axel's purposely obnoxious sing-song voice rang through the morning silence, "_If you're not into yoga – If you have half a brain. If you like making love at midnight on the du-u-unes of the cape... Then I'm the love that you've looked for; Write to me and escape!!_"

I sat up, shaking my head and giggling, then tossed a pillow at his swaying hips, "God... So annoying so early, are we?"

He turned and gave me a rather promiscuous wink, "How about a change of mood?"

"Please," I agreed, stretching my limbs and collapsing back in my bed. My eyes watched Axel and his sopping wet body... Only in a pair of jeans... His defined chest and tummy... Smelling like Calvin Klein or whatever foo-foo stuff they sell at department stores. And still with cinnamon and fabric softener lingering on him.

Axel's fiery green eyes met my icy blue, "You're checking me out, aren't you?"

I blinked fast and a sheepish grin widened across both our faces, "Yes. I am. You have problem with it?"

He flicked his wrist and turned away to dig around for a clean T-Shirt. "I might have to tell my boyfriend," He tsk-ed, "And he seems like the jealous type,"

An urge to eye-roll washed over me and I sat up again, "Wow. This guy seems like a prick. I should beat him up..."

"No, don't kill him. He's the world to me," Axel stood, back towards me, shuffling through his dresser, "I love him so much,"

"Hrmm..." I fought my crimson cheeks, "He's a lucky bitch to have you,"

The dresser slammed shut and before I could properly react, Axel pinned me against his mattress, "More like – I'm the lucky bitch to have _him_," Then his mouth was against mine, his lips were aggressive and I gave in to each nibble and suck the guy gave me. He pulled apart and his hazy eyes looked down on me and I blinked back up to him. He gave me a deviously chaste smirk and I pulled him back down to my mouth.

His tongue was so graceful, intertwining with mine and I shivered with every caress his finger teased me with. He slowly worked his way down to my collarbone, sucking and leaving a hot, wet trail behind his tongue. Then... "O-Ohhh..."

Axel froze midtrack and my heart regained a normal pace. He laughed and worked back up to me, "Was that a _whimper _I heard from you?"

"Sh-Shut up," I mumbled, sitting up, "You believe what you want," He got off me and blinked his unconvinced eyes, crossing his arms and grinning. I shrugged my shoulders and escaped into the bathroom for a shower.

He smiled and I wanted to kill him. Sometimes, that guy could be a major cockblock.

* * *

It was lunchtime and Axel was sitting by me with his textbook in his lap. I smoked my daily cigarette and had my own damn math book in my lap. Math can go die for all I care. Axel whined under his breath, "C'mon... Why do we have to do this?"

"Because," I explained for the 4th time, "College education is very important... No matter how much it sucks. I mean, slacking off was my thing, but now that I look at Cloud, I see how much of a failure he is... I mean, all he has is a high-school education..."

"True, true," Axel muttered, viciously erasing something on his paper, "But why are you so gung-ho on being a nerd so suddenly?"

I sighed and looked up, "I repeat: I see how much of a failure Cloud is with just a G.E.D. And I really don't want that to be me," Axel nodded and I asked, "What question are you on?"

"24," He hissed, probably thinking blasphemous thoughts.

"Sean and Laura have the same number of action figures in their collections," I read from the book, "Sean has 6 complete sets plus 2 individual figures. Laura has 3 complete sets plus 20 individual figures. How many figures are in a complete set?" **[1]**

"I know!!" Axel exclaimed.

"What?" I looked up and saw an approaching Xion.

"The answer is: Who gives a fuck? Sean and Laura are probably stupid, geeky losers who have nothing better to do than to masturbate with their damn toys. And as for the fucking sets? Then show me them and I'll do what any real genius would do – count the bitches!!"

"No," I sighed, "You're just barely off..."

"Hey," Xion greeted when she walked up, "What's up?"

"Two virgins want us to count their damn dolls for them," Axel complained and I couldn't help but laugh slightly at his angst. Math hated Axel and Axel hated math.

"Mmm," Xion hummed, "Fun, fun..."

"So what brings you to our neck of the woods?" I asked.

"Well," She took a gulp of the bottled water in her hand, "There's gonna be a huge-ass party at Club XIII tonight,"

"Sweet," Axel grumbled, counting on his fingers.

"Who's throwing it?" I asked. Most parties were at private residences. Clubs were a pretty interesting venue to host a fiesta at.

"No one," Xion explained, "Just a giant thing all the Seniors are invited to,"

"That's pretty wicked,"

Another nod, "Uh-huh. Well," She stood back up, "I'd better get back to class. Just wanted to see if you two would make appearances,"

"Possibly," I answered, "As long as Axel behaves and acts like a good boy,"

He nodded anxiously, "I will,"

"Fine. See ya 'round, Xion," I waved her off and she descended the bleachers.

"We MUST go," Axel begged, "Club XIII is _legendary _in a small town like this,"

"Right," I nodded, "Get back to work. How many action figures do they have in all?"

"Please!? I _really, really, really _wanna go!!" He begged.

"Axel-"

"Please!?"

"Solve the damn-"

"I'm begging you!!"

"Solve the motherfucking question, Axel!!"

He harrumph-ed and I remained unmoved, "If I answer the question, can we go?"

My head started to hurt, "Yes,"

Without a second breath, he stated flatly, "There are 6 action figures in each damn set,"

"That's wrong-" I stopped, "Wait, you're right... How did you know...?"

"Magic," He shrugged, "So can we go? Please?"

"Show me your work first," I crossed my arms. I wasn't going down without a fight.

"Why?"

"Now,"

"Why?"

"NOW."

"Fine," He murmured some not-so-nice words and tossed me his notebook. Very neatly, it was written:

6x + 2 = 3x + 20

-3x -3x

3x + 2 = 20

- 2 - 2

3x = 18

3 3

x = 6

"Wow," I blinked, "If you knew, why did you act stupid?"

He shrugged, "It made you laugh,"

* * *

Axel and I were walking home, as usual, when I got the call. "Hello?" I pressed my phone to my ear. I didn't recognize the number, but I had a certain feeling.

"_What's up, Boy!?" _A man with a heavy Britsh accent practically screamed into the phone.

"Uncle... Luxord...?" I hesitantly asked, Axel stopped mid-drag of his cigarette.

"_That'd be me, Darling. So you should haul your ass down to Cloud's place to greet your Uncle," _He suggested very bluntly.

"Why? Are you at the house?"

"_Perhaps... Come and find out!!" _And with no further word, he hung up and my feet were already booking it to Cloud's house. The few short miles between the school and my former house seemed to stretch farther and farther. Axel was barely on my tail, demanding me to slow down. The house came in plain sight and my ass was fumbling for the house key I was too much of a bastard to return.

"Here," Axel took the keys from my shaky grip, "Lemme get this while you get control of yourself," In went the key and I dashed inside.

"Uncle Luxord? Uncle Luxord?" I stepped around the house, Luxord nowhere in sight, "Luxord...?"

Axel dropped the keys on the coffee table and the note I left was gone. Cloud must've conceived a cow when he saw that, "Anybody home?"

"Ahhh," A tall, masucline man stepped out of the dark hallway, "We meet again, Roxas,"

"Uhhh..." I regained composure from being scared by his creepy entrance, "Yeah,"

"Boy," He walked up and took a firm grip on Axel's hand, "You look different, Roxas. Did you get taller? And muscular? And dye your hair...? And since when has this family had genetically green eyes?"

Axel cleared his throat, "Well, uh..."

"And who's this little blonde fellow?" He came up to me, "And you're a friend of Roxas's, I presume?"

"No," I furrowed my brow, "I _am _Roxas,"

"Well," He hiccuped, "That makes the lot of sense!!"

"This is Axel," I introduced... But I wasn't sure how to rank him... Boyfriend...? Acquaintance...? Mom never said anything about Luxord being a homophobe, "My, uh, _best _friend,"

"Quit the bullshit," Luxord fluttered his eyelids and let out a burp, "I know this is your-" Hiccup "-Your boyfriend,"

My cheeks burned, "How did you know!?"

"I'm a professional," He waved his hand away, ducking into the kitchen.

"So you're gay?" I asked, hopping up on my counter – I mean Cloud's counter. Luxord was squirting a can of Reddi-Whip in his mouth, and I winced at the extremely unsanitary use of my can – I mean Cloud's can.

"Right-O," He nodded, withdrawing rainbow sprinkles – rather ironic how my homophobe dad bought some – and chocolate sauce.

"So what are we gonna do?" Axel asked, sipping a can of soda he stole from Cloud's fridge.

"For what?" Luxord propelled whip cream out of his mouth. And I tried my damn well hardest to resist cleaning it up. It was my fucking house he was trashing – Oh wait, it was Cloud's house. Not mine anymore.

"Like a guardianship?" Axel suggested, "Aren't there lawyers and contracts and judges involved, or something?"

I thought about that... What exactly was I supposed to do? Luxord snapped his fingers and flashed his British smile, "I've got it!!"

"What?"

"I say..." He drew out the time to build unnecessary suspense, "...Do you have ice cream?"

"Huh?" I raised my eyebrows and let out a long sigh in disappointment, "Nevermind, I guess. I suppose

I have to do this on my own," Axel grabbed my hand and smirked. He was there for me was what he was saying.

"Ice cream!?" Luxord hiccuped and stumbled toward the fridge, "Ice cream!? Where are you?"

Axel gave me a worried look and I just shrugged. What else could I do? "Alright," He gathered his ice cream, toppings, and bowls, "Who's ready for a ceremonial Gay Pride Sundae?"

Axel muttered, "No,"

Obviously, Luxord didn't hear – Or flat-out ignored. You choose.

"Whatever," I stood back and watched this estranged relative that claims biological ties, make a motherfucking bowl of ice cream for fags. Hoorah.

* * *

After 3 meltdowns, 2½ spills, and taking all the damn ice cream supplies, Luxord managed to make some pretty impressive bowls of ice cream. "And now," He smiled, "A song to wrap it up?"

Axel, who got melted ice cream dumped in his hair, gritted his teeth and I gave him _the _look. "Fine," He growled, "What song?"

"Follow in if you know the words," Luxord directed and made us join hands.

Being so close to him, I took in an involuntary whiff, "Do you smell like... whiskey?"

"No, Darling," He hiccuped, "It's rum..."

* * *

"So fucking glad that's over," Axel celebrated when we finally broke away from Luxord's drunk grip. We helped him to his hotel room, then was out of there. I decided to touch the whole guardianship thing when my guardian-to-be was half-sober.

"I hear you," I agreed, the tone-deaf lyrics to Luxord's damn song stinging me, "That damn song..."

We were walking to Axel's house before heading to Club XIII, "Oh yeah," He laughed, "_Barbie's such a bitch – She is just a witch,_"

"_I really hate her... Why does Ken date her?_" I sang back, out of habit.

"_Ken is such a man... I'd do all I can... Just to do him-_"

"_-Yeah, we just wanna screw him!!_" I was reduced to laughs as we walked down the street, past the school, and up the road to Axel's abode.

"So what is Club XIII?" I asked when Axel unlocked his house and pushed his way in.

"It's the only club in all of Twilight Town," He answered, turning on the lights, "I've been there once with Demyx and Zexion, before you showed up. It's pretty wicked. Club XIII doesn't card, so it's pretty easy to get in and score some drinks,"

"Really? I've never been to a club where they didn't card,"

"See, they have this new owner – some guy named Marluxia – and he's like, barely 23. Since he's so young, I guess he's less strict,"

I nodded and flopped on the couch, "What time is the party?"

"Dunno," He went in and unlocked the backdoor and joined me on the couch, "Pretty late... Like 10, I suppose,"

"Well," I got up and pulled my science book out, "We can use the next 4 hours to study then,"

"Uhhh..." Axel whined and buried his head in my shoulder, "Do we have to?"

The backdoor opened and shut with a loud bang, "Dude!!" Demyx's voice was loud and frantic, "Axel, Roxas, dude!!"

"Yo," Axel wasn't bothered by the fact Demyx invaded his home with no warning, "What's got your bloomers in a bunch?"

"You're going to Club XIII tonight, right?" He begged, an ever-present Zexion right behind him, not as panicked.

"Yes," I answered, writing down the answer to a question in my notebook. I flipped the page and tried to tune out the spazz.

"Well," Demyx slowed down for once and turned red in the face, "Bad idea,"

I froze in the middle of writing. Not looking up, I predicted, "Is it Naminé related?"

"...Yes..." Zexion said, and Axel nudged me.

"You still wanna go?" Demyx asked, falling onto the loveseat across from us.

"What does a substance's pH tell you?" I read, really avoiding the question.

"Roxas," Axel nudged me again, "Answer. We don't have to, if you want..."

I thought hard, "A low pH tells you that the... concentration of hydrogen ions... is high. Right?" I looked at Zexion.

He nodded, "And in contrast, a high pH tells you that the concentration is low. Now answer the question,"

"Thanks," I wrote my answer down and read the next question, "What acid reacts with KOH to produce the salt KCH?"

"Roxas," Axel ripped the book from my lap, "Answer the question,"

"I don't know the answer... I suck at chemistry," I scratched my head.

"The other one, Genius,"

"Oh..." I sighed, "I'm going. I'm not letting some bitch get in the way of me having some fun," A weary smile was plastered on my face and I really didn't know what to expect.

* * *

I called Luxord on the way to the club, "Just making sure you didn't hurt yourself,"

"_I'll be fine, Love. Don't you worry. I'ma go to bed, so come over tomorrow. We'll talk about Cloud. Okay?_"

"Yep," I slipped the phone in my pocket and climbed into Reno's car. We drove in silence and I was tensed... Naminé was going to do something... I could feel it.

**This. Chapter. Was. Fucking. Rushed. **

**Seriously, I hate this damn chapter and everything about it. I detest it. So please forgive me. I'm losing the ability to write. D: *cries***

**Anyway, I reread this entire story and well... I'm disappointed. Very much. As for my newest fic, 'Til Death Do Us Part, hopefully that will redeem myself. Because I'm an epic fail as a writer. Another reason I want to shoot this bitch of a story out of the sky. **

**Footnote Time~**

**[1]~ I just picked a random problem out of my algebra book. And I solved the whole thing in my head. So if you have the same question... There's the answer. :33 hahaha.**

**And I have a confession... and I'm really embarrassed by it, so don't judge me...**

I'm obsessed with lemons.

***blush**blush**blush***

**Egadd!! I'm so... God. :// Like, I wanna write them, but I'm like, too much of a virgin to write them. So I've been reading them... And I've been studying male anatomy to prepare myself. Lord. So yeah. I want to write them. You know that scene where Axel and Roxas were making out before school? Towards the beginning of this chapter? Yeah. I was fucking blushing with **_**that **_**scene. Imagine me when they're going at it like dogs. Bad. PLZ HELP ME AND I'LL RETURN THE FAVOR.**

**Your reaction: *Glares* Pervert.**

**Cough, so I have no clue. Next chapter will be a long-ass filler. THERE. You have been WARNED. Moving on, I only need 9 more reviews to break 100!! I don't care if you review twice, I just want to make 100 on my first fic, ever!! :D :D :D :D :D **

**Love you all,**

**Um of Umbridge~~~**

**P.S. Alice in Wonderland was amazing. Helena Bonham Carter was the reason I went to see it and she did not disappoint. GO SEE IT. NAO!! **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I'm back, yo. Who missed me? C:**

**Good God, I can't believe I started this little bastard of a story a year ago. I remember writing a chapter for WRMA **_**last **_**Thanksgiving. Haha, it's brilliant. And time consuming. **

**I reread this little fuck of a fanfic and wanted to shoot myself. Angsty drabble, much? But, eh. This was my first fanfic I've written **_**ever. **_**Not first published, nor first shared, but my first thought-up and typed fanfiction. Talk about nostalgia. I'll save the long-ass A/N for the end of this long-ass chapter. **

**Consider this chapter a long overdue Thanksgiving gift (and update). Speaking of Thanksgiving, hope you enjoyed yours. Mine consisted of the Saints beating the Cowboys. Whoo! I'm a dear fan of both, but since my boyfriend is a Saints fan, by default, I have to support that team. Oh, the magic of high school romance.**

**So enjoy, my darling(s).**

**Disclaimer: I didn't own this a year ago, I don't own it now. Yo.**

**P.S., see if you can try and spot how much my writing has developed since I last updated. ;) Oh, and I will marry Chad Ochocinco. Not 'cause I like him or because of his talent or anything, but because he has a pretty funny dating show. I love whores. I do. I really do.**

Even down the crowded road, I could feel the vibrations pulsating through the small white club, up the concrete street, absorbed into the rubber tires, and released into my feet on the floorboards. My stomach rumbled in anticipation, my mind lingering over whatever Naminé had up her sleeve. Axel reached for my hand across the clutch, giving me an easy smile telling me not to worry. I forced a calm smile back, my mind still droning over what to expect.

Reno said something about parking up the road, that way, shitfaced pedestrians would be less likely to piss on the hood or something. Demyx sighed before screeching in an ice-breaking pitch. "So… Do they still have Marluxia has the owner? Lord knows I need a drink."

"Yeah," Axel said, pulling over to parallel-park on the curb. "Reno talked to him a few weeks ago. He's still running things."

Axel cut the engine and pulled the keys out of the ignition, sliding them in his pants pocket. As a dare before we left, Demyx and Zexion coaxed him in a neon pink pair of skinny jeans, clashing horribly with his red spikes. With the skinny jeans, he wore a girl's white shirt, skin tight with a graphic design of those annoying sunglasses with lines through them. Over all, Axel looked like a female traffic cone. Hah, it was things like this that made me love Demyx and Zexion. We walked down the dark, humid street before coming up to the square, windowless building, a meaty man standing in front of the velvet rope and front door. Despite the muggy, warm air, he wore a leather jacket to go with the rest of his slimming, black attire. Axel, being the tallest and strongest out of us, approached the much larger man with a cocky grin. He would've been able to pull this off, but him in a girl's outfit? No. Just no. "We're seniors."

The man looked from Axel, to me, then Demyx and Zexion. With a grunt and a weird look to Axel, he moved aside and lifted the rope. We stepped into the cooler, dark air and walked down a short flight of stairs before running into a small, heavy door with a metal knob. Demyx pulled it open, drooling with excitement, and a gush of sound nearly knocked us over. Even as we walked down the stairs, we knew the music was loud. But once we yanked that door open, it was like a jet taking off. Black Eyed Peas' "Imma Be" rumbled out of ceiling-tall speakers, a DJ's booth situated between them. A very tan guy had oversized headphones wrapped around his neck and pressed to his ear. As one hand was messing around with buttons and music settings, the other was thrown up in the air, waving around freely.

I recognized faces from around out school, but none of them were worth approaching. Strobe lights were flickering from the floor, people were dancing and tossing glow sticks around, you could smell alcohol and perfume and sweat mixing together, a black light radiated from every wall, making Axel glow from head-to-toe, loud laughing and chatter carried on top of the poppy, bouncy music, and a small, raven-black haired girl shot up and called my name. A few more steps led us down to the floor and into the insane crowd of people and dancing. There was the DJ booth on the left-hand side and some booths on the right. Along the back wall was a bar, a plethora of alcohols lined against a mirrored wall. The black-haired girl came close, tripping over and falling straight into my arms to catch her. "Xion?" I asked, looking harder at her pink, smiley face.

"Yepperz!" She hiccupped, standing up on her own before stumbling backwards, Axel only stepping to catch her. I raised my eyebrows. _Who the hell says 'Yepperz?'_

"Are you… Drunk?" Axel asked, probably wincing at her poisoned breath.

"I only had a-" Another hiccup. "-Drink or two!" She giggled a little too loud, even compared to our even louder surroundings. I was amazed, to say the least. In all my time I knew Xion, aside from her nymphomaniac-ness, she was a good girl. Not some drunk in a shady bar, wearing a skimpy red belly shirt and a leather short skirt, practically tripping over herself.

"I saved you all a seat," She smiled a little wide, pointing to an empty booth with half-drunk cups across the table. Axel basically carried her over there, setting her safely in and handed her a glass of what looked to be water. She took it with another hiccup, before downing the full cup in one go.

Demyx looked ready to burst, his cheeks turning red as he bounced on his heels. I rolled my eyes. "You and Zexion go. Me and Axel will keep an eye on Drunkzilla, here."

"No, no!" Xion squealed from her laying position beside me, throwing her hand up and waving it in my face. I grabbed it tightly before gently putting it on her stomach again. Imagine me taking care of her when we were _dating! _I shuddered at the thought. "You guys all go! I'm doing-" A series of various hiccups. "-Just fine!"

Axel was sitting across from me in the round booth, getting her high-heels jabbed in his thigh every time she moved. He looked at me with a smile trying to say this was fun. "I'm sorry," I apologized, stroking Xion's thick hair. "But she's a good friend and I'm at least gonna watch her until she sobers down a bit."

He smiled at my maternal – a very fruity trait to have as a guy – side then leaned back in his seat. "So… No sign of Naminé yet…"

My face frowned as Xion slowly sat up. "That… _bitch_… needs to go back to the-" One more hiccup. "-Barbie land that she… was spawned in… _Fuuuucck heerrr…_"

I couldn't help but laugh at that one. A new song came on, "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga, and Axel almost jumped in his seat. He looked at me with a desperate smile, begging to go and dance. I just rolled my eyes with a smile and dismissed him. "Go."

He stood up and made it a foot from the booth before turning around. "Aren't you coming?"

I looked from a drunk Xion, to Axel's waiting face, then down at my lap. "Nahhh… I'm not much of a dancer."

"Well, if you're not going, then I'll sta-" He was interrupted midsentence by a guy who I recognized from our Russian class. The guy pulled Axel away, already hopping and bopping to the music. Axel, however, shot me a "Help me!" look as he got dragged by the elbows into the rumbling crowd.

Xion looked at me, picking up on my subtle pout. "Aww… What's wrong with Roxy?"

"It's…" I started before trailing off hesitantly. "It's nothing."

"Too bad it's something," She said, sniffing each cup of drinks before choosing a pink, strong-smelling and putting it to her lips. I yanked it away from her and put it back on the table. She glared at me and I only narrowed my eyes back her back.

"Maybe you should slow down," I suggested. "But anyway… It's nothing big."

"Well," She suggested, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning into the table. "Since you're gay, you'll want my girl wisdom."

I would've said that I didn't care about her stupid girl wisdom, but drunk people say some funny stuff, so I permitted her to go forward.

"It's just… Look at Axel. He slacks off but the teachers love him, all he has in the world is his brother and he seems so happy about it, he's always telling me how great and wonderful it is that he has me, but I've been nothing but bad news and drama, and what if he doesn't want to wait on me forever? What if he'll get bored with me and leave? I'm so dependant on him…"

Xion nodded slowly, drinking in all this information. As I clunked my head against the bar, she slowly rubbed my back, the way Axel did. But I got a more platonic, friend feeling than that woozy, loved feeling I got from Axel. "First off, I don't know the guy. Hell, the first time I've ever spoken to him was through you." She sat back, her eyes flickering interest on the cup in front of us. I waited, seeing if she had more to say. She didn't.

"_That's _your girl wisdom!" I clunked my head against my arms, making the glasses jump on our table.

"No," She snapped, insulted. "_My _advice is to have a drink, get lost in the music, and go with whatever feels good in the moment." **[1]**

I actually pondered this as I looked across to the dance floor. As predicted, Demyx instantly nailed guest DJ, fitting in nicely next to those huge speakers and booming music and dancing crowd. He was grinning widely, laughing and swaying in beat with Lady Gaga's perfectly engineered voice. Axel, combined with his height, hair, and day-glo pants, stood out in the crowd. He was jumping and shaking his head and clapping and laughing. I felt so out of place. Xion slid out of the bar and held out her small hand, "Come on."

"Where are we going?" I took her hand, letting her guide me through herds of other drunken or plainly crazy people, up to the bar. Despite the large crowd, one man seemed to manage the whole thing effortlessly without breaking a sweat. He had long, feathery, light brown hair that looked pink, a very mature, handsome face, and wide shoulders, obviously from working out. He wore a clean, pressed light blue shirt and a pair of ripped-up pants, a rag thrown over his shoulder.

"Marly!" Xion called to the man who turned around to face us. His blue eyes were devious, but nothing short of innocent.

"Hey there, Xion!" He shouted over the still-roaring music. His eyes danced from Xion to me. "Who's your cute, little friend?"

"I'm Roxas," I introduced. "You must be Marluxia, the owner."

"Geez Kid," He laughed, batting his long, feminine eyelashes. "Lighten up. Have you even had a drink yet?"

"Well," Xion chuckled, patting me on the shoulder. "Roxas, I leave you in good hands." And with that, she disappeared in the crowd, either going to dance or drink some more. The entire bar counter was empty, leaving me a wide choice to choose from. I slid into a middle seat, letting out a harsh breath.

"Rough night?" Marluxia asked, drying a metal shaker with the rag on his shoulder.

I let out a bitter laugh and nodded. "Something like that."

"Xion's cool," He said, pouring vodka into the metal shaker. "She's one of my regulars. She your girlfriend?"

"No," I let out a bit too fast. "Well, we dated… But it didn't work. I'm actually with a guy. An amazing guy, actually."

"Oh yeah?" He asked, squeezing a lemon into the shaker. "Lots of guys in Twilight Town swing that way, lately. Who's the lucky kid?"

I watched as his strong hands juiced all of the citrus into the shaker. "He's the guy in the day-glo, pink skinny jeans, red spiky hair, and dancing with the chick in the purple tank-top," I pointed at him, watching him easily move with the girl. Although it was clear the girl was coming harder and harder on him, he showed no more interest than just friends. That didn't stop that pang of jealousy in my chest. "His name's Axel."

Marluxia looked up, holding a pink rose and a vile of pink liquid. I never even noticed him pulling those out. "Ahhh, so _you're _the one who managed to tame Axel."

"Excuse me?" I asked a little surprised, Marluxia laughing at my alertness.

"Didn't you know? Axel used to be a hell-child – total rebel – right until Reno told me about a pouty blond that really made Axel mature."

I ate this up, actually picturing Axel as a hair-raising devil. The image fit quite nicely, frankly. "You know Reno?"

"Well, duhhh. He's my ex-boyfriend." Marluxia stated so nonchalant, plucking petals off the rose and putting them into the shaker.

"Didn't know that," I said dumbly, getting shoved aside from a sweaty, heaving guy holding a glazed-looking blonde at his hip.

"I need a Boom-Boom Bang. Pronto!" The guy demanded rudely, slapping a twenty on the counter, before turning his full, dirty attention on the blonde, attacking her ratty hair and smeared make-up with ravenous hands and lips. Marluxia only smiled and chuckled under his breath before setting his metal shaker aside and pulling a bowl-like glass out from under the counter. He spun around quickly, coming back to face us, holding a jewel encrusted bottle filled with champagne. Swiftly, he placed it by the glass and put a few yellow flower petals at the bottom of the glass, followed by a small packet, but I couldn't see what it was. He topped of the glass with more champagne, before taking a heart-shaped bottle and dropping a touch of pink juice from it.

"What's that?" I pointed at the finished drink as he slid it over to the customer.

"A Boom-Boom Bang," He smiled, showing off the paid twenty to me before pocketing it. "Like almost all the drinks served here, I made it up myself. It's a special _love _drink, made from champagne and tulips."

"And the packet? And that heart-shaped bottle?" He picked up the metal shaker again, adding a few drops from the first vile and finally closing the lid.

"Ever heard of Agrabah? That desert city on the other side of the world?" I nodded, thinking about the sandy city baking under the sun, famous for its black market and dark magic. "Well, this is a love potion from one of its most famous magicians, Jafar. It's pretty rare, but I set up a deal to get every bottle available."

"Love potion? What does it do?" I asked as he shook the shaker in time with the music, Ke$ha's "Your Love Is My Drug" roaring through the club.

"Basically, makes people _wicked _horny. Quite romantic, if you think about it," He joked, pouring the shaker out into a neon-green cup, glowing under the flashlights. "And the packet is a condom. No explanation necessary."

I laughed, blinking my groggy eyes. Despite my loud, flashing surroundings, I felt _exhausted_, wanting nothing more than to sleep and deal with Uncle Luxord. And I felt really guilty leaving him behind in an empty hotel, smashed as fuck, while I was out partying. He slid over the drink, rustling my hair. "Here, it's on the house."

"Really?" I took a sip, the burn of the vodka gagging me, the bitterness of the lemon taking me back, and the sweetness of whatever those drops of pink were giving the drink a unique and delicious taste. "Whoa… That's… Wow."

"You like it?" He asked with a smile, wiping down the bar and serving a few stray customers their drinks. I nodded and he grinned, running his thick fingers down his pink tresses.

"So, how'd someone as young as you get their own hot bar in a small, sleepy town?" I hiccupped, the power of the drink already getting me buzzed.

"My father," He frowned slightly, before turning back to me with a friendly, perky smile. "See, he has a huge chain of clubs and bars across the world – a total billionaire trying desperately to maintain his youth. After some serious convincing and a business degree, I got what I wanted. Why a small town? Well, you're able to get more personal and learn about every guest. Plus, they are more polite and tip _much _better." He proved it by showing me a hundred-dollar bill he pulled from his back pocket.

I topped off the drink, letting the weight of my drunk arms bring the cup crashing against the wooden bar. I burped lightly, and slid the cup back. "I'll take a beer and some more vodka. Raspberry vodka, if you have any."

He fetched me my order as I pulled out a crumpled up ten-dollar bill from my hoodie pocket. "No, no. I like you, kid. You're gonna be free."

"What?" I asked, retracting my money from his sight.

"Since I own the bar and the finance isn't exactly an issue, there are certain guests I give special treatment to," Marluxia popped off the top to a beer, sliding it over. "Such as you. And Axel, since he is like my little brother. Xion is one, since she's so adorable and here every week. Demyx, recently, since he's such a great DJ."

I looked over at him again, where he was shaking his head wildly with the music. I laughed at him as he soaked in the crowd's positive reactions. "Yeah, he is," I choked down the vodka, despite the painful burn as it slid down my throat. Almost instantly, my vision blurred slightly, Marluxia's face melting under the intense strobe lights. "Hey, can I have more? Make it a few shots of liquor this time."

He raised his eyebrow and slid over three small glasses, each filled with liquid courage. Before my fingers could graze the first glass, I could feel iciness enter the room. My voice was high-pitched and hissed. "Naminé?"

"You know her, too?" Marluxia asked, wincing along with me. "Sheesh. She's here all the time, acting as if she owns the place."

"She's my manipulative, evil ex-girlfriend who forced me to cross my own line way too many times." I stated sorrowfully, tracing the rim of my glass with my fingertip.

"Seriously?" Marluxia poured me another tall serving of light, fizzy beer. "Here, you'll need all the help you can get."

Halfway through the heavy chug of my drink, I could feel her cold, soft hand nudge me in the back. I turned in my seat, glaring right back into her hard, blue eyes. "What do you _want?_"

"What do _I_ want?" Naminé repeated, wearing a short, white dress and a pair of silver flat shoes. "Well, for starters, I want you to die a slow and painful death."

I laughed roughly, making it clear I was sarcastic. I could feel Marluxia watching the two of us from the corner of his eye. "Wow, Naminé. Way to be mature, am I right? Someone as beautiful and smart and loveable as you should have much more important plans than roll around in the past."

Marluxia snorted in amusement and Naminé only narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her slender hips. "Excuse me?"

I hopped off the stool and pressed my nose right against hers, very intimidating and harsh. "Get. The. _Fuck. _Away. From. Me. When will you get I am _through _with you?"

"Oh really?" She asked, getting amused. Naminé tilted her head back and let out a long, over-the-top laugh. "And I'm assuming you're so much happier with Axel?"

I crossed my arms tightly over my chest. "Yes. Yes I am."

She tilted her head to the side and pursed her perfectly pink lips. "Then where is he? Why isn't he by your side? Why isn't he enjoying the night with his amazingly desperate boyfriend?"

"Listen, you little-" My face was getting hot and I started to let the alcohol do the talking. But before I got the chance, she interrupted.

"Don't tell me he's bored with you _already. _Wow, record time." She laughed again, more sharp and icy this time.

Before I could let the pain of what she said sink in, I only coughed out a cocky laugh. "Look, I don't even _care _what you think, okay? There's not a single thing you can say or do to make me break anymore. I've said this once, and I'll repeat it as many damn times as needed: I'm _through._"

"I- I-" She stuttered, backing down slowly.

I smiled wide and waved my hand. "Bye."

She turned and stormed off, steaming from the ears. I didn't see where she was going, and honestly, I didn't care. Hopefully, that was the end. Marluxia was smiling at me as I sat back down. "Well, Blondie, I'm pretty fucking proud of you."

My response was throwing my head back, tossing a stinging shot down into my system. He only smirked and took the used glasses. "Maybe you should slow down." He replaced my empty cup of vodka with a bottle of chilly water.

I wrinkled my nose at his choice, my head barely being able to stay up on its own. "Just _gimme… Moooorrreee vodka._" My voice was hitched and slurred, desperate for more.

He shook his head in an I-Told-You-So fashion before hesitantly pouring the drink. I smiled and nodded, taking the drink before getting up. "See… You _arounded…_"

"You too," Marluxia smirked, not taking his eyes off me until I filtered into the crowd, stumbling around in circles before crashing down into the booth. I spilled a little vodka onto my hand, wiping it off on my jeans. I reached out my shaky hand to grab the cup and bring it to my lips.

_She's only messing with you, _My sober voice said inside of my head. _Axel will never get bored with you – he said so himself. On the other hand, what have you done so far to make him want to stay?_

I silenced my thoughts with another mind-numbing, throat-biting gulp of the vodka before me. As soon as the song changed, this time to Taio Cruz' "Break Your Heart," Axel joined me, sliding into the booth across from me.

"Mind if I?" He asked, already picking up the glass and taking his own sip, wincing at the burn before smiling at me.

My head pounded against the walls in my head, screaming orders and demands at me. Within seconds, I was on his side, straddling his hips. Before he could have time to speak or move, my lips met his, already working in a steady, heated rhythm. My hands crept up to his jaw and neck, holding on and trying to press deeper into him. His fingers snaked into my jeans waistband, inching further and further down. A sinful moan escaped my throat, releasing hot breath and my voice into his mouth. My eyes were shut tight, wishing that all these feelings could last forever.

I whispered low and hard into his ear. "You know I'm only gonna break your heart."

He laughed, sliding his fingers lower and lower. Nobody around us seemed bothered, but the public display seemed so… Exciting. "I can't wait."

**Axel's POV**

Roxas was everywhere. In my mouth. On my neck. Screaming in my head. Begging for more in my ear. Things were getting far too heated and I could feel my conscience come into play. _He tastes so good. He feels so good. What are you waiting for?_

_No, wait! He's drunk! He doesn't know what he's doing, so take it slow!_

_Are you kidding me? He knows that he wants you, so you'd better give him what he wants._

_Do you really want to be the only one who can remember this in the morning? Back off and wait until both of you can enjoy this!_

_You saw him and Naminé argue! He needs something to distract his mind from her!_

_Is it better to be a distraction or a reason? Would you rather have him truly want __**you **__or you to forget his other pains?_

_Whatever, man. You'll have a great time and feel so good._

_Consider the guilt you'll feel when he feels strange and doesn't know why, while you're the one who has all the answers. Don't you think he'll be upset with you?_

My eyes widened, taking in the situation. Roxas' mouth was still connected with mine while his pale eyelids fluttered with drunken pleasure. I glanced quickly down, watching my probing fingers intrude his personal space. Shrugging it off, I closed my eyes again as I nibbled deeper and deeper into his mouth. Then I saw a horrifying image of a silver-haired man with tan skin and evil, gold eyes. My heart thudded, terrified, as his lips played into a wicked smirk. _Who the hell is that!_

Without hesitation, I ripped open my eyes again, back in the bar with Roxas slowly and teasingly working his way down my bare neck. My hands were still cupped around his ass and a picture of another large, evil man popped in my head. His hair was dark blue and long, spiked up at the top. His merciless bronze eyes lit up as he licked his chapped lips and traced his sharp finger along an x-shaped scar across his face. _…The fuck is that!_

Roxas locked lips with me again, mewing and panting into my lips. I pulled away from his sweet, warm mouth and gasped for air. I couldn't do this. It felt so unfair and wrong. "Hey, how 'bout we dance?"

I could see the disappointment on his face, but then he smiled and grabbed my hand, pulling me back into the crowd. The music pulsated through my blood as we made way to the center stage, hands intertwined. The bass was heavy, and I rocked against Roxas, slowly and meaningfully, helping him get lost in the music. Chris Brown sang his "Forever" song, as I guided Roxas' hands into my own, my eyes closed as we stepped with every beat. The air was hot and sticky, filled with close contact, sweat, and panting. Lights swirled around me, flashing and popping, letting Roxas' sweet, breathless voice sing along. I clenched my jaw, trying real hard to stay in control. Roxas turned around and traced his fingers along the creases of my faint abs, still agitating at his touch – so light and faint, but with a meaning.

Then Demyx decided to be a douche bag. I _knew _he saw me and Roxas get hot and heavy from his God-like perch above the crowd, and he just _had _to play that – of all songs, he decided to shoot me a wicked grin and play that one. A trumpet's bolero rang through the speakers, bouncing off the walls and into my ears. My eyebrow twitched as I held back with all my might. But it was impossible, painful, and torturous to even _try _to hold back. I pushed Roxas off and swung my hips hard, his curious blue eyes watching with fascination. In milliseconds, he was back in my arms, with his hands on my hips, guiding me in sync with Shakira's alluring voice.

My feet were blindly stomping against the concrete ground, picking up on a swift and quick pattern. The people surrounding us started stepping back and watching our moves, clapping and cheering us on. I didn't notice. It was just me and him. While swaying my hips, I took Roxas into a tango-like position, spinning him around as I gasped along to the words. "_And I'm on tonight –You know my hips don't lie. And I'm starting to feel it's right: All the attraction, the tension… Don't you see baby, this is perfection._"

My head swarmed with cluttered flashes of those two scary men still shrewdly looking into my soul, Roxas writhing and moaning beneath me, Demyx singing along to Shakira's anthem, me rocking my hips against Roxas in a very sexual tango dance routine in the middle of a club… Everything was so overwhelming. Cold sweat beaded against my hot, tense skin. His mouth was open against mine as I hunched over him, holding him close.

"I love you," The music seemed to overpower the volume of my voice, but the meaning of those three words could shake the ground. "So freakin' much."

"I love you, more…" Roxas only smiled and tugged at the button of my pink skinnies. "Let's go…"

_Uh-oh. _I was now certain of what he wanted, so I slightly panicked. "Demyx and Zexion… We've only been here for an hour…"

"They can walk…" His voice was silky and stocked with answers to all my excuses. "And we'll have a few hours to _ourselves _when we get home…"

"I like this song," Even though the next song, Katy Perry's "California Gurls," was catchy and raging through the club, it made my ears bleed. **[2]**

"It's on my iPod. And believe me: Destiny Island boys are even more undeniable." I couldn't help but laugh at that, so he took that as a sign of victory.

"What about Reno? He's home." This was a crappy excuse, since he probably wasn't. But hey, he's the only guy I know who always has plans at midnight _every _night.

"We'll go to the tree house," We were still dancing, but Roxas was trying to work our way closer and closer to the exit. "Or the Parlour. Or your car."

_Dammit, he got me. _So instead of thinking up a new battle, I reused one. "Demyx and Zexion… We can't just leave them."

"Then we'll go out back… Behind the club." Something inside me snapped hard, totally just giving up. I allowed Roxas to lead me to Marluxia, who only smiled at us and directed us up the front stairs, in a back door, to the alley out back. Roxas stumbled through the door, drunk and horny, with me picking him up every time he tripped. Despite his small frame and impaired senses, he managed to throw me against the cool, hard bricks and snake his fingers up my shirt.

Luckily, the air cooled down, giving me the chance to breathe easily and calm down a bit. The side that wanted Roxas took over my brain, allowing me to feel so relaxed with him pressed against me. He pushed my entire shirt up, leaving my bare stomach and chest exposed to his mouth. I stifled a moan as his tongue traced down, down, down to my jeans button. My fingers were locked tight in his golden sea of soft hair as he started to let his small hands explore their way back up to my chest.

Without thinking, I slowly pulled down the zipper to his hoodie, revealing nothing more than a red t-shirt. He helped me take off his sweater, letting it fall to our feet, and his hands laced with mine. Our mouths met, sucking and nibbling silently, before our tongues crossed barriers and danced around together. I was now shirtless, since we separated for a brief moment to allow Roxas to fully pull my shirt off my body and join his sweater on the ground. In a very animalistic fashion, I tore through his shirt with impatience, ripping it slightly at the neck. I slid down to the ground and rested my bare back on the discarded clothes, having Roxas rest his comfortable weight against me. His warm, wet tongue left a trail down my jaw and to my neck, before stopping and sucking hard on my collarbone. The trail tingled as it cooled in the midnight air, and I gasped, before releasing a slow moan.

I flipped Roxas over and headed straight for the jeans. I straddled him around the knees as I pulled down his pants. His plain black boxers remained as his jeans revealed pale skin. I swallowed – _Ohmygodthisishappening _– as the jeans were tugged down to his knees. Before I could register another thought, my heart snapped.

Faint, pink marks were run along Roxas' inner thighs. Scars, as I remembered when we were on the Ferris wheel and saw _very _similar markings. Minutes ticked by as I started hard and cold at those scars, fading and healing but still there, as those men resurfaced in my head. Roxas sat up slowly, looking at me puzzled. "What's wrong? Why'd-" He hiccupped. "-You stop?"

My throat tightened and I stood up, putting my shirt back on. "I can't. I _won't._"

"You…" His voice was a raspy whisper, barely audible. "Don't… want me?"

I didn't know how to respond to that. "Oh, I _do _want you… But I can't have you…"

"Why not?" He asked, tears already building up. My heart broke at his cracking voice.

How the fuck was I supposed to tell him he was raped and he wasn't ready for sex yet? "Roxas…" I ran my fingers shakily over his scars and he looked down at them. You could actually see his face grow pasty and white, the muscles in his jaw and neck clenching tight.

I sat there and stared at him hard, his eyes locked hard on the marks engraved in his skin. Hot tears tricked down his face and I found my own nose stinging at the urge to cry. "Wha- What is… _This is… me…_" He choked the last part out to soft and so sad, it made my heart crumble to the cold, dirty floor we were sitting on.

"I'm sorry, Roxas…" I trailed off, not knowing what else to add. I _was _sorry and I wanted his pain to stop, but my intentions never had actions. "You… You need to heal before we can…" Deciding it best to stop there, I left him to sit in silence and gather his thoughts.

Roxas gasped in and out, chest heaving and sobs erratic. Inching off his body and pulling my shirt back on, I could do nothing more than put him in my arms and ease him through his pain. My back was pressed against the rough wall, but I was far from noticing the discomfort. "Why… Why can't I…"

His voice was almost impossible to hear, and I strained hard to catch his last few words. "Why can't you… What?"

"_Why can't I be fucking __**normal!**_" He was letting every last drop of tears out of his eyes, screaming out his question violently and then reducing to exhausted weeps. "Why… Why can't I be happy… And unscarred… Why can't I have a mom or a dad… And… _why was I __**raped?**__... _Why am I… _alone…?_"

That made my heart catch fire, hearing him say that while I was sitting right next to him through all this trauma. I breathed deep, trying not to burst into tears that I felt coming. We didn't need _two _guys crying, after all. He wiped his tears away with his sweater sleeve, sniffling every few seconds. That was my cue to start giving a pep talk.

"Hey, you have _me. _Forever and always, you'll have me. I'll never hurt you, never leave you, and never think about anyone but you…" The vodka lodged in my brain started to wear off, forcing me to actually _think _about what to say. "And the wounds from your past… They're still fresh and still deep… Healing is _never _overnight, no matter how much that sucks…" He was murmuring under a slur of exhaustion how much he loved me and his agreements with what I was saying. I leaned down and kissed each one of his wet, fluttering eyelids and stroked his soft cheek. "Your mom is _always _with you. Right now, I can feel her…"

"You can?" He asked skeptically. I shrugged. I didn't actually _feel _any supernatural presence, but I knew she was watching over him, much like how my own parents do with me.

"She loves you," I whispered, cradling him closer into my chest. "_I _love you… Never forget."

"I won't. Promise." And just like that, he was asleep in my arms. I sighed, raising to my feet and stumbling lightly at the added weight of Roxas and the buzzing effect alcohol gave me when it wasn't strong enough to stay in my system. Feeling around for the door that let us out, I finally managed to stumble through and around the hall, coming up to the stairs down to the club and the front entrance. Roxas needed to be dropped of in the car and I had to find Demyx. So, after placing Roxas in the back seat, tucking him in snugly, and locking the doors, ruining anyone's chance of getting in or out, the bouncer let me back in to find my friends. But first I had to pee.

Working around the obnoxious crowd in search for the lavatory, I found Xion nearly passed out at a table, a meaty guy pulling at her wrist. They didn't notice me, which was good, but I kept a strong eye on the suspicious man. Xion was seventeen, _maybe _eighteen, and the guy looked to be somewhere in his late thirties. His hand slid from her wrist, up her arm, and down to her chest region. The poor girl looked too drunk and weak and fatigued to fight away, so I slowly made my way to their table. The man had tattoos of crosses, roses, girls' names, motorcycle logos, you name it. His nearly-bald head (all hair he _did _have was dirty white) was covered with a skull-and-crossbones bandana, he had a long beard, and a leather vest. He was more on the heavy side, but I knew he could crush me without even trying. His hand roamed from her hips to the waistband of her skirt. _Oh hell no-_ "Xion!" I exclaimed, rudely interrupting their moment.

"Hey… Ax!" She giggled, instantly perking up at the sight of me. I breathed out slight relief. _Okay, she's not __**dead **__yet, so that's a good sign. _

The man didn't seem as jubilant towards my presence. I only glared at him before snorting. "Who's this?"

"I'm _Ted_," He hissed, as if I was _supposed _to know who he was. "Who're you?"

"None'ya damn business," I snapped, tugging Xion closer into my safe embrace. Like Roxas, she barely reached my mid-chest, so I rested my arms heavily on her bony shoulders. "So quit feeling up my friend, you fucking pervert." Given my situation with Roxas, I was obviously not a fan of unwanted sexual contact.

"Look, Buck-O," He stood up, knocking over the drink on his table. "I don't know who you think who you are, but I was just talking to this little lady right here! So move your lanky little ass some'ere else. "

I cocked an eyebrow, trying not to punch. "Fuck you, Psycho Santa. And next time I see you try an' fuck around with a minor, you're going to have your brains splattered against my kitchen walls. Got it memorized, Buck-O?"

"Why you little-" He started, coming at me with a fist, and I braced myself for sudden impact. The fist was hurdling towards my face before he choked out a strained gasp and fell to the floor. If it weren't for the loud music, I would've heard myself gasp. The only thing I saw was a pale, small figure with blonde hair, removing her silver shoe from the vicinity of Ted's crotch.

_Naminé fucking Holt just kicked a man four times her size where the sun don't shine._

Blue eyes narrowed at the whimpering man rolling on the ground, grasping at his jewels, begging for the pain to stop. Then the blue eyes met mine and my heart jumped. They – those deviously blue orbs – were bloodshot and glossy. She was _crying. _And by the looks of her flecks of mascara, swollen face, and red nose, she was crying _hard. _"I already told Demyx you were looking for him. Him and Zexion should be in the car by now."

I narrowed my eyes sharply at her, causing her to wince. Oh, the mixed feelings I felt for this girl! For one, seeing her beautiful face so vulnerable wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be. I felt _guilty, _actually. Another thing was my gratefulness for her not letting my face get fucked up by a drunk, huge pervert. I felt skeptical at her sudden helpfulness. Next, I was enraged by the fact she was butting into _my _business. But the one feeling that stood out the most was confusion. _Why in the fuck was she being so… Helpful?_

"I just… Tell Roxas I'm sorry." She breathed slowly, watching Xion cling to my hip. I nodded, still at a complete loss of words.

"Thank-you, Naminé." She smiled weakly and I was still at a loss of words. Just because she did _one _good deed didn't mean she was off the hook from all the mayhem she's caused, not only to me, but especially to Roxas. A more logical side of my head spoke up: _How the __**hell **__are you going to get Xion home!_

As if I voiced this question out loud, she shouldered her purse. "I can have her crash at my house," I choked a little, completely stunned at that answer. The last time I checked, the two girls _despised _each other. Once again, Naminé picked up on my shocked expression. "Look, things between me and her are rough, I know. But I'm trying to reach out to help and fix it."

My response was simple. "Why?"

She furrowed her brows and shrugged, irritated at my distrust – but who could blame me for being distrusting of this girl? – but trying to hide it. "There has to be a reason?"

I decided to leave it at that, handing over Xion, who seemed too drunk to even care who had control of her. "If there's even one scratch one her…" I warned forcefully, hesitatingly backing away from the strongly identical-looking girls.

"I know," She assured, nodding her head. "Xion's in safe hands. I promise."

"…Thank-you, Naminé." Stepping over the writhing man, I escaped the club, completely weirded out by Naminé. _Okay… Should you tell Roxas this? _I asked myself, spotting Demyx and Zexion nuzzling each other against Reno's car. _What if he freaks out again…? But I have to be honest… Okay. I'll tell him tomorrow night. When he's sobered up and not quite hung over anymore. _I winced, realizing the intense pain Roxas would feel in the head tomorrow. Well, that included me, too, since I had my fair share of vodka and the like. My phone said it was nearly two in the morning, and I unlocked the car, Demyx hopping in the front while Zexion sat by a completely unharmed Roxas in the back. The engine started and I tuned out Demyx's loud laughs and crazy stories of his night. The gears were pulled in reverse as I started to back out of my parallel park.

"Man, I was so all over that DJ job!" Demyx was saying to Zexion loudly, while Zexion only smiled and nodded. It was nice to see them together: Zexion so quiet and understanding with Demyx filling in the silence for the both of them. "I can't believe you wanted to sit I the bathroom and read the whole-" My eyes zeroed in on a blonde girl in the distance helping a darker haired, drunk girl into the back of a luxury sedan. Demyx's loud voice didn't even make it past my eardrums as I watched Naminé carefully ease Xion into the car and shut the door slowly behind her. _Well I'll be damned. Naminé is actually taking her home… That's actually… Nice._

My thoughts were interrupted by an uncomfortable weight in my bladder. Dammit, I didn't even get to go pee.

**A/N: I never get to go pee when I need to. And I always have to pee. So Axel, I'm right there with you.**

**Footnote Time~**

**[1] – You took the words right out of my mouth, Xion. **

**[2] – Katy Perry is God. I love her to death and her Teenage Dream album is to die for. (Have you even listened to **_**Peacock**_**? No? Well, you should. It's a big That's What She Said joke.)**

**I'm not sure if there is a [3] or not. The chapter is so long that I don't remember. Hurhur. So if it is, uh, tell me or something. If not, well, then I **_**do **_**know what I'm doing after all.**

**Happy Thanksgiving/Black Friday again from the bottom of my heart.**

**Anyway, what am I thankful for? Well…**

**LunaMaddie**** aka Maddie, especially if she still remembers me. ;) Every last person who **

**read/reviewed/shared/loved/hated not just this story, but any other I have written. Seriously, I cannot even **_**begin **_**to express how much I FUCKING LOVE YOU for supporting my writing for the past year. It was my first year of my new and current life in Georgia (coming all the way from Alaska), and having writing as an outlet is really a gift. Thanks for letting me share it. **** My new computer for not dying on me, unlike my flip-flap-floopin' laptop. Axel and Roxas and co. for letting me fuck with their lives. Tetsuya Nomura for creating Axel and Roxas and co. so I can fuck with their lives. **

**There's also *Nijuuni and *Atomic-Clover over on deviantART. Stumbling across their lovely gay art is what introduced me to AkuRoku (and yaoi in general) in the first place.**

**There are various writers here on FanFiction that inspire me to no end to be a better writer. There's the author that inspired me to write in the first place: ****rae2009****. There's my favorite author, ever: ****.project207****. There's the author that makes me want to leave my comfort zone and try new subjects: ****kurosora1984****. There's the author that has mastered the art of angst, smut, and fluff all in one story, and her fanfics somehow push me to do better when I write: ****RoseRiku****. And last but not least, there's the author where I inspire her, which makes me feel so much better as a writer. She's growing and I cannot wait for her to build on and on, expanding what she's capable of. She's my friend, my half-beta, and my little trooper. She is the lovely ****LunaMaddie****.**

**Of course, if you are a writer, you are my hero. If you are an artist, you are my hero. No matter what you do and you love it and you're proud of it, you're my hero. And there are **_**MANY **_**other writers that I read, review, and worship. There are **_**MANY**_** other artists that I study, critique, and worship. I love them all and each little thing I come across influences and inspires me like no other.**

**It's amazing how one little KH fandom can get me all fuzzy-wuzzy and thankful. Haha.**

**Oh, and did I mention anyone who takes time out of their day to support my writing? I love you all with a passion. Got it memorized?**

**Wow. I think I've outdone myself in the long-ass author's note. In all of my other, more recent stories, having shorter, briefer author notes has become a habit of mine. But I figured that since this fanfic will always be special in my heart (no matter how crappy the story itself is), I'll stick with the long author notes. C:**

**So anyway, tell ME what YOU'RE thankful for. I'm curious. I would go into detail about how my life has been going since my last update, but I wrote this whole thing in one sitting. In fact, I wrote **_**MORE **_**(like, two-thousand words worth), but I cut it out and put it in**__**for **_**NEXT **_**chapter. And about that, expect only, like one or two more chapters left for this story.**

**Well, I'm going to go pee and maybe eat an apple or something. I love you all, especially those still reading at this point. C: And see? I told you I always have to pee. Haha.**

**Love, even though you don't want to admit it, Sam.**

**P.S., so **_**did **_**you notice how much my writing style has changed? Haha.**


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